OH HO! I finally felt like doing another review that no one
will read! HOOHAHAHAHA.
WHY! you cry! WHY?
Because I CAN.
Lotsa Shadow-bashing
ahead. WHEE.
The cover was drawn by Spaz and depicts Sonic and Shadow on top of a big ole
heap of Metal Sonics. There's a weird red wind-up toy thingy with a 'Go Team'
flag on the bottom. I have no idea what it is; it's probably from the games or
something. Fill me in. mah peeps. *shudder* I vow never to use the word 'peeps'
again.
Alrighty!!
The first story 'System Reboot' was written by our dear Penders and drawn by
our beloved Lim.
It starts off with Sonic punching Shadow across the room (YES) and Sonic saying
how Shadow got his 'licks in last time'. Yeah, he's gotten in some sucking too,
if you've been unfortunate enough to read some of the slashy swill over at
FF.net. But nobody gets the drop on Sonic twice!
The caption box reads: 'As unforgettably depicted in Sonic #146.' Wait...what
was 146 about again? :P
Rosie is holding the unconscious Hope on the floor as Sonic and Shadow try to
kick each other's asses all over the room. Shadow's 'brilliant deduction' is
what makes him really want to pound Sonic: Since the Metal Sonics resembled
Sonic himself, then Sonic must have something to do with it! Therefore, he
needs to be beaten senseless!
Sonic says that don't mean shit, after all, he and Shadow resemble each other
(eh?) and they're nothing alike!
Rosie puts a stop to the nonsense by calling them both fools and saying Hope
needs medical attention. They both stop in midpunch. Sonic grabs the
Maria-clone and zips out of the hut. Shadow races after him.
Meanwhile...
Uncle Chuck is checking out the schematics of the Metal Sonics on the computer.
They've got an outer shell of iron-titanium alloy! State of the art shit here,
folks. Only the nanites can top them. One hundred of the suckers built to protect
Kingdom Acorn.
Chuck breaks down and sobs 'What on Mobius was I thinking?! I should never have
gone along with this insanity!' No kidding!
Rotor comes in and overhears, telling Chuck it wasn't his idea and he shouldn't
feel ashamed. Rotor gives him the wise fact that inventions don't cause
problems, it's how they're used. Unless they're guns, and then they're just
EVIL!
There's also a weird panel in here where it looks like Chuck is wearing glasses,
but they're not colored, so he just has little circles drawn in his eyes.
Meanwhile again...
Eggman makes a hilarious entrance by bellowing about the Metals, 'Look at them!
The most fearsome destructive force yet unleashed on the planet -- and I had
nothing to do with it! How can this BE?!'
LOL He really should be a comedian, I freaking swear it.
With his monitor, which can apparently transmit video feed from -anywhere in
the planet- he watches the Metals rip through Knothole. They blow through a hut
and send Ash the boy-band singer flying!
Eggman makes another amusing statement in that he, like the Freedom Fighters,
now has to depend on Sonic to save his bacon. 'I, who made all others tremble,
should be reduced to their level.'
Tremble? Oh dear, I feel another fit of giggles coming on.
Back in Knothole...
Sonic is rushing through a battle scene of the Chaotix fighting Metals, with
Shadow close behind him. Shadow's thinking about Maria and Hope, the two people
who were nice to him. He couldn't save Maria, but he can try to save Hope! He
opens a portal with Chaos Control. Sonic dashes into it, followed by Shadow. A
perplexed Knuckles watches the portal close.
At the castle, the citizens are ready for battle. Elias climbs a ladder to the
castle battlements where Bunnie and Amy stand armed with... wooden bows? Oh,
way to go, Gun-Control Rotor! Bows are going to be sooo much more effective
than laser weapons! Antoine informs Elias that the Metals are not yet in sight.
Antoine wonders where they are, considering they're moving nearly as fast as
Sonic.
But right after he speaks, the whirling blue cloud of Metals can be seen
ripping through the trees as it heads for the castle. Suddenly there is a
strange noise that startles Elias; he turns to see Shadow and Sonic w/ Hope
emerging from the portal. He wonders how to tell Sonic his father meant well by
having the Metals built.
Sonic hands Hope over the Doc and his nurses. Shadow tells the Doc she'd better
be taken care of or he's gonna pop a cap in a certain feathered ass. Quack says
he's the King's personal doc, so Hope's in great hands. I dunno about
that...after all, Quack was letting EBIL-Antoine take care of Mad Max before.
Elias 'thanks the Source' that Sonic's all right. (Does Sonic know about the
Source? O.o) Sonic wonders why the Metal Sonic's were built. He asks if they
made sure the security around them couldn't be breached, considering it's
something Egghead would do. Elias replies that just because Robotnik/Egghead
created many different Metal Sonics, doesn’t mean he 'owns the patent' on them.
Sonic is annoyed, saying nobody has the right to involve his likeness in their
crazy schemes.
But hey, Elias never authorized the project in the first place, and there's no
time to argue about it now. Sonic agrees and rushes out to fight the oncoming
clones.
He reaches them and threatens to take them down, but gets zapped for his
fightin' words. One Metal replies that Sonic will be killed, along with anyone
who threatens the Kingdom. Sonic tells them they're supposed to be protecting
THIS kingdom.
The Metal sees red as Sonic punches it, screeching, 'Nobody can tamper with my
programmin', bitch!' Sonic is all like 'Whateva, dawg.' He does one of his
Sonic whirlwind doohickeys and the Metals fly up into the sky like Dorthory's
house in the Wizard of Oz.
It doesn’t stop them though! One comes down with a good hard punch to Sonic's
face. He fights back, but the Metals are starting to overwhelm him. Shadow, our
resident fan-char-ish God-moding angst-pod, he shows up right in time! WHAT
WOULD KNOTHOLE DO WITHOUT SHADOW?!!! They'd be DOOM-ED! DOOOOOM-ED. XD
The All-Mighty Shadow raises his hand...and all da bots fall down and go
boom-boom! Ammmmmaaaaazing! How is this possible!? The God-Moding Wonder
wonders!
Why it's Chaos Control, Knuckles butts in. Shadow of course, needs no
introduction because he. is. GOD!
Shadow says he can't do Chaos Control without a Chaos Emerald. Ah contraire, if
you draw your power from the Chaos Force you can, Shadow! But only Guardians
can do that.
"Hmmm," says Shadow, "I AM the ULTIMATE LIFEFORM FOR SURE."
Sonic gets up and complains about his head and calls Shadow a faker. Knuckles
and the Chaotix run off... somewhere. Sonic thanks Shadow for saving him and
says he owes him.... nothing. Bwahhaha oooh burn baby.
'Then we're even,' the Black G0D of AngsT says.
Sonic returns to Castle Acorn where he's greeted by various Knothole citizens.
Bunnie says 'Our conquering hero returns!' which just sounds so OC to me. At
least she's not wearing that damn cowboy outfit. Sonic hugs his parents but
Elias interrupts the happy moment and presents Sonic with a medal. He also
gives Sonic the title of 'Gentleman-at-arms'.
Jules and Bernie make a lame joke thing about Sonic growing up. Sonic jumps in
the air and yells 'Who wants to PARTY?!' 10 different girls carry him off to
have a spicy orgy while Sally shakes her head and laughs, 'Oh, that Sonic!'
At that moment, Shadow has left the building...er...Knothole, and is passing by
a crappy looking stream. He recalls Sonic saying goodbye to him. 'Hey Faker!'
Sonic yells. Shadow stops and looks back and Sonic, with a huge smile, says
'Don't be a stranger!' Shadow leaves, the end. OH WOOOT.
Well, I thought that story was ok. Nothing much really happened. It was kind of
boring, actually. One good thing is that Shadow (hopefully) will be gone for a
while. I tire of his overly whiny back-story. Oh wah wah, I'm so sad cuz Maria
died. Hey, like the -entire- Archie cast didn't have their parents/families
either die or be roboticized by Robotnik. Hell, even Snively, a BAD guy, was
betrayed by Robotnik. But Shadow, you're somehow special in your angsty greif!
You see, it's not Shadow's angstyness that bugs me so much as his
overrated-ness.
*ahem*
Enough of the Shadow ranting. Don't wanna make the fangirls angry... LOL
Anyway...
Onto story 2, which is the more interesting of the pair. I'm curious to know
what Ian Flynn will do with the storyline this next story creates.
"The Despicable Dr. Robotnik. Insidious." Written and drawn by
Penders.
Our favorite SCARY villain, the Incredible Edible Eggman, enters the
"BAH!" cries the Egg, "What's so good about it?"
ADAM replies that his research is going just spiffy and his lieutenants are
maintaining his infrastructure (Such big words ADAM has)
Eggman is not pleased by this. He screams out that his lieutenants are just
waiting for their chance to backstab him. Just like SNIVELY DID! WAH WAH WAH.
LOL Egg, aren't you the same guy who already KNEW that Snively had a part in
killing Julian, didn't you already KNOW that he was capable of backstabbing? Oh
wait, I forgot, you lost your sense of logic when you transformed from
Robo-Robotnik into Eggman. How silly of me!
ADAM thinks an example should be made to ensure the loyalty of Eggman's
minions. Eggman agrees. But the one that he 'desires to see the utmost excruciating
punishment inflicted on' is beyond his reach. OH Snively! I hope he means you!
Just think of that torture with whips and chains and...whipped cream.
ADAM says maybe he isn't beyond reach. He shows a picture of the nanite
structure thingy, and a video of Rotor taking some nanites (I like the way
Rotor and Sonic are drawn here, XD) Eggman is even more distraught to see the
nanites now in the hands of the FF's.
Ok, now fast-forward to when Tommy was 'infected' by the nanites. Somehow, the
nanites are transmitting video stream to each other and ADAM can access it. Ok,
yah. Whateva, dude! Apparently, the nanites can communicate with each other
over any distance. So the nanites on Tommy could communicate with the nanites
in the petri dish, no matter how far away Tommy is.
Eggman watches the video of Tommy flying into the air. He learns the nanites
can not only make jet engines, but many other things as well. He also finds out
that the nanites are linked to Tommy. Yeah *yawn*
So anyway, he continues to watch the video. Tommy is now entering a room where
Jules and Uncle Chuck await. Eggman listens in. They're scanning different
citizens into a new security system. Tommy puts his palm down to be scanned,
and ADAM sends a signal to the nanites, causing some of them to leave Tommy and
enter the computer. There they can multiply and blah blah.
Eggman is so thrilled he forgets he didn't even think up this EBIL scheme.
That's ok, he'll take the credit anyway.
Next, Jules scans his palm and the nanites infect him. Then Bunnie. Bunnie gets
a little light-headed. Eggman is worried, but Bunnie recovers much to his
relief. Next up comes Sonic, but he can't be infected as he is organic.
Eggman wonders how the hell Tommy was infected then; apparently a turtle's
shell is compatible with nanites. Yeah, I don't get it either. But hey, this is
fiction, right?
Next up is Sally. DUN DUN DUN. The nanites hop from the computer console and
right into NICOLE. Eggman roars in orgasmic delight! He can now see everything
the infected people do and say, and possibly control them via the nanites. He
gloats ebilly, the END.
So yeah... I think that might make for some interesting stories. We've got
Tommy, Jules, Bunnie, and Sally crawling with infected nanites, so I wonder
what trouble Eggman will stir up.
Also, I'm a bit hopeful that maybe this means teh SNIV will be getting a story
of his own! After all, Eggman has been griping about him the past few issues
and in this story, he seemed pretty eager to inflict painful torture on the
seXy bald man.
Annnd...we still don't know who anonymous is... and since Sniv was mentioned as
being a potential for that...
Well ya never know. *bounces around in giddiness* They'll probably off him,
knowing Sniv's luck in this comic! WAHHH.
And as I mentioned, I wonder if Flynn is working his stories around this plot,
it seems that he would have to. It could be ignored for a while though, seeing
as though Eggman wants to wait for the right time to strike.
So yep, that about covers #159.
And yeah, I know, I bash Shadow alot. XDXD LOL But I KEED, I KEED.