Dragonmen, Dragonmen, From Whence You Came?

By MistressAli

Any characters from Archie or DIC are naturally (c) To them and Sega, of course.

The others, well, they're mine. So there!

 

"Ok, class, now listen!" The small commander banged his fist on the table. But it was Elwood's irritated gaze that made the class quiet.

 

Elwood was the leader of the robotics lab. He stood a good tall height, and was barrel-chested, although his slow and dull demeanor denied that. He was about as violent as a cute fluffy lamb.

 

"Ahem." The commander regained his authority, or so he thought. The laboratory workers merely did not want to suffer from one of Elwood's long and grueling lectures.

 

"First, you take the SWAT's dome off, being careful not to damage these blue and red wires."

 

"Uh, duh, we're the robotics section, I mean, I think we know how to take apart a stupid SWATbot!" One of the smartass workers grinned.

 

"Shut up," said the commander firmly. "I know you know how to dismantle one, but have you ever installed new modification chips before?"

 

The worker shrugged, then shook his head.

 

"Then shut up, and watch. Alright, you remove the motherboard here, but leave in the powercell."

 

"But won't that erase the motherboard's memory?"

 

"Precisely. The new moddie chips restores all of that, and improves it greatly. These SWATS will be more smarter, my friends. You know the hedgehog's diversions?"

 

"Not really," the group said. They worked in their labs all day, and never got to see much of the main workings of the city, terrorist attacks included. They rarely saw their leader, the glorious Robotnik.

 

"Well, anyway, these improved SWATs won't be falling for any of those stupid tricks anymore."

 

"Yeah, sure. Let us work on some real robots for a change."

 

The commander turned his baleful eyes on the unruly worker.

 

The worker was quiet.

 

The others giggled.

 

"NOW! You take your little solders there, and carefully solder the moddie chip onto this section of the motherboard. Of course, you must remove this old chip first."

 

"AW, that's such a pain..."

 

"That's why Robotnik's having YOU do it," The commander had a laugh of his own, and the workers sighed.

 

"Yeah, cause you got such other important things to do, eh, Snively?"

 

"That's 'Commander Snively' to you, you maggot! After soldering it into place, you..."

 

"Put the motherboard back in, and rehook the power cell," said Ludmilla, one of the few female scientists in this department. She was slowly inching her way closer to Snively, who was starting to look a tad nervous.

 

"Yes, very good, uh...Ludmilla."

 

"Ludsy-wudsy, and Snively-ivvy," muttered the impertinent worker, and the group broke into uproarious laughter.

 

"Enough," said Elwood in his bored voice. "Show your superior his proper respect, and quiet down."

 

Snively nodded, putting on his arrogant face, but the class snickered. "Proper respect, right."

 

"I could turn you into the robots you work on, so don't you test me," the commander said, icily, then turned his attention back to the SWAT. "After rehooking the power cell, uh...Heh," he laughed nervously; Ludmilla was quite close to him now. "Ahem...you put the dome back on, reconnect the head to the body, and voila."

 

"Great."

 

"Oh, but it is great." Snively grinned viciously, then stooped down to pick up a box. He poured it out onto the lab table, and the class gasped. Several hundred moddie chips scattered the table.

 

"We have to do all those?!"

 

"No."

 

They sighed.

 

"You have to do fifteen more boxes of that amount."

 

"WHAT?!"

 

Elwood sighed. "Well, group, I suppose we should be getting busy."

 

The unruly worker poked Snively in the chest. "Real funny, shrimp. You expect us to waste our time on these SHIT-bots! We have other stuff to do!"

 

"No, you have to do whatever Robotnik tells you to do, and he's telling you to do this. So I really don't think you have a choice."

 

"That really blows!"

 

Snively shrugged. "Welcome to Robotropolis."

 

 

 

 

Sometimes Robotnik wished he wasn't so fat.

 

He wiped his pudgy hands off on his colorful outfit before returning to his task, skimming aimlessly through files.

 

Sometimes, he wished he was strong, bulging with muscle.

 

Oh, to stretch out leathery wings like the creature he was staring at now.

 

There was a picture of a dragon on the screen before him.

 

He wished suddenly that he could be lean and muscular, and have wings like the dragon...but still retain his human form, and more importantly, superior intellect.

 

But that wasn't possible.

 

He thought maybe he could try to graft the dragon parts onto one of his officers. His android, Packbell, perhaps?

 

Naw. Packbell was vain. He thought he was perfect already. 'Well...he is', thought Robotnik, '**I** built him after all!'

 

His nephew, maybe? The thought made Robotnik almost laugh out loud. What would his skinny little lackey look like with big wings and muscles? It was just too hilarious.

 

No, he wouldn't work at all!

 

He turned his eyes back to the dragon picture. Wouldn't it be wondrous to have a humanoid dragon warrior to fight on his side! It would be incredibly powerful. He could even roboticize it for extra strength and endurance.

 

'I like this idea. Very much.'

 

He stood up and went down to one of his laboratories, checking through viles of body samples he'd collected from Mobians over the years. There were eyeballs, skin samples, fur samples, bone fragments, and the components of life...eggs and sperm.

 

He went through the viles slowly, grinning madly when he found a vile of Dragon eggs.

 

Now, to find DNA of a male Overlander. He searched through, but couldn't find any at the moment.

 

"No matter. I'll get the proper combination together soon enough. First, I must work out the schematics of such a project."

 

 

 

"Alright, group, any questions?" Snively was patrolling the room, smirking at the group who were just getting started on the new installations.

 

"No."

 

"Yeah, this sucks."

 

"That's not a question."

 

"Ok, then why does this suck?"

 

"You tell me, I'm not doing it." The small commander laughed.

 

The worker threw a moddie chip at Snively, who caught it and threw it back onto the table. "Knock it off, and start working."

 

Snively circled around Ludmilla's table, and she looked up, smiling. He tried to beat a hasty retreat, but was hemmed in by Elwood, who happened to stand right in his path to berate the unruly member, who was still throwing the chips around.

 

Snively tried to smile at the Swede fox, but it came out as more of a grimace. She grinned at him, fluttering her eyelashes. "I vill be very hungry after all this vork," she said, shifting one of her coiled braids. "Vill you join me for dinner?"

 

"Well, uh...you see," the commander laughed nervously. "I really umm..."

 

"Oh, c'mon Snivvy." The brat leaned back and poked the commander in the back. "Give it a go. You might even get an after-dinner treat, if ya know what I mean."

 

Snively scowled, while Ludmilla put on her best sex-kitten expression. It was somewhat of a scary sight.

 

"I'd, well, like to, Ludmilla, but you see, I'm well...uh... busy. Yes. Very busy. You understand."

 

The fox nodded again, pouting. "I understand that you cannot make time for poor Ludmilla." She looked dejectedly down at the severed SWAT head on the table before her.

 

"Aw, hurt her feelings, you meanie."

 

The commander glared at the brat. "Shut up, you."

 

There was the sound of static as the COM speaker in the room switched to on, then Robotnik's voice blared. "Packbell, Snively, report to the command room at once! I have an idea to discuss with you."

 

"Wow, he sounds riled up."

 

"He never gets excited. This must be a hell of an idea. Excuse me, Elwood."

 

The tall dog stepped aside so Snively could pass. Ludmilla stood up and followed.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"I vant to hear the idea."

 

Snively eyed her. "Really. I think you should stay here."

 

"No, no. I vill make up the vork later."

 

"Fine." Snively sighed. "Let's go."

 

 

 

"So...I will combine Human and Dragon DNA.... When they are grown...turn them against the Freedom Fighters." Robotnik finished his idea in record time, only three times did he stop to gloat and laugh evilly.

 

"That's great, sir," said Snively.

 

"Yeah, wonderful." Packbell, the android 3rd-in-command, didn't seem impressed.

 

"It will be my greatest accomplishment," growled Robotnik, ignoring the doubting looks of his two commanders. They didn't have the vision he had, he mused. They never saw the glory of his ideas...

 

"So, Doctor, where ya going to get the DNA? The human DNA, I mean." Packbell lifted a questioning eyebrow.

 

Robotnik shrugged. "I'm sure there is some in my archives somewhere."

 

Packbell looked at Snively. Robotnik turned his eyes upon the small human also.

 

"I really don't think so," he said.

 

Packbell laughed wickedly. "Your large lady friend here could help you out in getting some DNA, Snivvy. If she didn't swallow it all, that is."

 

Ludmilla looked crafty.

 

Snively looked disgusted. "You're sick, Packbell."

 

"There really isn't any need for that," Robotnik chuckled. "I'm sure I'll find some in the archives...besides, you know a strand of hair or skin sample is all that is needed."

 

"Yeah, but it's sooo much less complicated with the fresh male components," said Packbell, flicking his tongue at Snively.

 

"Knock it off!"

 

Ludmilla laughed.

 

Robotnik addressed the fox. "What department are you from?"

 

"Robotics, sir."

 

"Go back there and have your team get a growth tube ready. Packbell, you are to work with the team on this project."

 

"They don't know a whole lot about cloning," complained the android.

 

"Some of them do," said Ludmilla.

 

Robotnik nodded. "There has never been a proper cloning department....as I find robots so much better than flesh... you are really my only expert, Packbell. Work with what you have."

 

"Yeah, whatever." The android seemed less than pleased. "I would prefer to work on my own."

 

"You will oversee and have total command. I want this to be flawless, Commander."

 

"He doesn't want you molesting the clone either," hissed Snively..."Like you did with the last one..."

 

"Fuck that shit." Packbell gave Snively a shove. "That clone was hottttttt."

 

"Go now," said Robotnik, turning his interest back to the schematics he'd typed.

 

Packbell and Ludmilla left.

 

 

"Well, the lab session went...smoothly," Snively told his uncle. "They learn quite quickly....for Mobians that is."

 

"Good, good. In between working on the project, they can work on the SWATbots. Specifically the workers with no cloning experience." Robotnik rubbed his hands together and gave Snively a shrewd look. "And how far is progress on my 'gadget' in Warrior robotics?"

 

"Well, I haven't gotten there yet, sir. I'll check right now."

 

Robotnik watched him leave, then looked back at his schematics.

 

 

 

The warm wind blew over the forest, tinged with a hint of the cold winter to come. Leaves rustled. Some held onto their summer green, but most were succumbing to the fall, blazing orange, red, yellow.

 

Knothole was as fiery as the trees. The villagers laughed and cheered, toasting their sweet berry wine and dancing in the meeting square. It was the annual harvest festival.

 

This was a holiday that Robotnik hadn't taken away. Not even he, with all his power, could stop the turning of the seasons.

 

The main group of Knothole had celebrated earlier in the day, and now were crouching around one of the tables with paper and measuring instruments.

 

"This is perfect," said Sally.

 

"No...a slight modification here." Rotor took a ruler and drew a line on the paper. "There."

 

Sally nodded. "I didn't even see that."

 

"Why," asked Sonic, "do we need this? We already got an airplane."

 

"This isn't going to be an airplane, dufus." Sally said jokingly. "It's an aircraft."

 

"What's the diff?"

 

"It'll be more like one of Robotnik's hovercraft."

 

"Whoa, cool. Will it have all that cool stuff, like stealth-mode and stuff?"

 

"Well, it might not be that fancy..."

 

"Ahhhhhh."

 

"But, it will be very helpful in our missions. And it'll be a lot faster than the airplane."

 

"Puh. That airplane is sooo slow." Sonic still seemed interested. "It won't have any guns or nothing?"

 

"Probably not."

 

"Well, that's no fun!"

 

"It's not supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a tool to help us win the war!"

 

"Yeah, yeah."

 

Sally smiled slightly and turned back to the plans. Their attention was distracted as Antoine came from the meeting hall, holding two steaming platters of food.

 

"Theee food ees on!" he exclaimed, setting the platters on the picnic tables they'd set up.

 

"Great!" Sonic was out of his seat in a flash and standing in front of the food. "Where's the chili dogs, man?"

 

 "I did not prepare any chili dogs, Son-eek..."

 

"Awwww..."

 

"...but my cooking partner may have what you want."

 

Antoine grinned as Bunnie came from the meeting hall with a steaming pot of chili, and a platter heaped with hot dogs.

 

"OH YES!!!"

 

 

 

The warrior robotics department was on the 34th floor. The leader of the group, Castor, was not too keen on the whole idea of cleaning up, so the floor was a mess.

 

Snively, being an immaculate sort, was disgusted at the sight of tools, nuts and bolts, oil spills, and assorted odds and ends strewn everywhere.

 

"For Gods' sakes," he growled, coming up being Castor, "do you ever clean this place up?"

 

"HEY! GET TO WORK OVER THERE!" Castor was busy bossing around his assistants.

 

"Castor."

 

"WHAT?!" Castor twirled around. "THE HELL DO YOU WANT? GET BACK TO...oh..."

 

Snively scowled. "Thanks. I'm deaf in both ears now."

 

"Quit whining, you fairy. What the hell do you want?"

 

"How's the project going?"

 

"Ah, yeah. That. A couple more days, it should be done. The prototype, anyway."

 

"Just a prototype?" Snively was astounded. "I thought you could do better than that, Castor."

 

"Shit, it ain't me! It's these lazy-asses."

 

"Same tired old excuses..." Snively nonchantly picked at his fingernails, which made Castor scoff and mutter 'fairy' under his breath.

 

"Screw that. It takes time to get these things right. I mean, Robotnik knows that."

 

Snively raised an eyebrow.

 

"Don't give me that look, you pansy. I'll have it done..."

 

"In a few more days. So typical of you, really. To slack off. You really are a pathetic son of a bitch, Castor."

 

"You fuckin' fag! Who the fuck do you think you are, coming in here and saying this bullshit to **me**?!" Castor gave Snively a hard shove, sending him stumbling backwards into one of the messy tables. His flailing hand swept nuts and screws and computer chips aside, adding to the chaos of the floor.

 

Snively pushed himself back up. "I could make you pay dearly for that." He let loose a fierce snarl.

 

"Oh yeah right. You ain't got the balls. Those little things are all shriveled up, aren't they? All curling inside that pussy stomach of yours. Heh, I bet they're bluer than ole Sonic, eh?" He laughed meanly.

 

"I...I...you..." Snively could only stammer for a few moments, which then turned to a little squeal of anger, and a large intake of breath. A long and probably explicit-filled barrage would've taken place, had not Pollux, one of the researchers, interfered.

 

"I heard about that cloning project," he said in a neutral tone. Both Castor and Snively looked at him. The latter had his chest puffed out, and his face was mighty red. He looked fit to kill, which almost brought Pollux to the verge of laughter. Castor was already there; grunting and cackling.

 

Snively exhaled, the air coming out of him like a pricked balloon and shrank back to his twiggy self again. "The dragonman project?" he asked. His voice was very soft and controlled, but trembled with the rage underneath.

 

"Yeah, that," nodded Pollux. He raised a hand to scratch his shock of brown, white-tipped hair. "I maintain the power plants, you know, and I know this is going to suck a hell of a lot of energy from them."

 

"Yeah, so what?" Castor was working off a last few laughs.

 

"So, Robotnik better not blame me about flickering lights or slower production and stuff like that."

 

"Oh boo hoo. What if he does?"

 

"I'm saying he'd better not."

 

Castor poked Pollux in the chest. Pollux grimaced; that was one thing he couldn't stand about Castor. Always shoving and poking.

 

"Quit being a whiny little girl, Pollux, you fairy."

 

"Are you so insecure in your sexual orientation that you have to accuse everyone of being gay? Just afraid to think that you might be the 'fairy' and not everyone else?"

 

"Don't start with your stupid psychological shit." Castor growled and shook his head. "I'm a real man, and a real man can tell a fairy when he sees one."

 

"You see them in your bed a lot, I suppose?" sneered Snively.

 

"Yeah, I see you in there, begging me to fuck you up the ass, and I kick your perverted ass outta there."

 

Pollux laughed, although the language was beyond his taste. Snively scowled and narrowed his eyes, obviously trying to think up something to outdo Castor's insult.

 

"Now, now, Castor," Pollux giggled. "I bet you and Snively are more "friendly" than you let on."

 

"Say that again? You pussy, only a fag laughs like that. Oh tee hee." Castor leaned over and pinched Snively's nose. The human screeched in indignation. "I bet you love this pointy snauze, eh, Pollux? You love it ramming right up that fag ass of yours."

 

Castor flattened down his ears as the screaming and insults came descending upon him.

 

 

"Geezum, this stuff is heavy!" Dulcy the dragon grunted as she carried a large piece of scrap metal.

 

"Ya'll are tellin' me!" Bunnie walked with her robotic arm behind her, dragging another large piece. "Rotor, ya lazy bum, git out here an' help us!" She dropped the scrap outside the lopsided workshop with a loud clang.

 

"Yeah yeah." The walrus grumbled, but his eyes were excited as he came out of the workshop. "Man, oh man, is this gonna be great. I just hope I can build this thing."

 

"Ah Rota' dear, ya'll can build anythan'."

 

He looked at the pile of scrap metal. "Is that all of it?"

 

"Yeah, just about."

 

"Good! Now bring it inside."

 

Bunnie and Dulcy exchanged looks, but could do nothing more but grumble. They were the two strongest in Knothole, and always got saddled with the heavy work.

 

Once the scrap was inside, Rotor hooked the blueprints up on a clothesline above his workbench for easy reference. He threw open his cabinets of tools, digging some out and throw them onto the bench. 

 

Bunnie shook her head. "What a mess."

 

Rotor squinted at the pile of junk he had to work with, then rubbed his hands together and bellowed, "Ok, everyone out! You can go get Sally for me, I might need her an' NICOLE's help...oh, and uh, tell Sonic I might need some tips from Chuck too."

 

"Right away, 'sir'," Dulcy said sarcastically.

 

They turned to leave.

 

"Oh and girls..."

 

"Yes?" They turned back, exasperated.

 

"Thanks for your help." Rotor smiled.

 

They grinned back. "Yeah. Have fun!"

 

"Oh, don't worry," the walrus muttered as he picked up a wrench. "I will."

 

 

 

Sonic looked around carefully. He turned in a full circle, even looking up into the sky. When he was sure he was alone, he pulled a piece of piping sticking out what looked like an ordinary pile of scrap. Not an uncommon sight in the large city of Robotropolis.

 

This was not an ordinary pile however, as a hidden door opened in the side. Sonic slipped in quickly. The door shut fast on his heels.

 

His uncle sat inside on a wheeled chair, a small microphone inserted in his ear. He held his hand over it. Sonic opened his mouth to greet him, but Chuck held up a hand. Sonic was silent.

 

After a moment, Chuck pulled out the microphone and laughed.

 

"Hey unc, what's goin' on?"

 

His uncle chuckled, patting his nephew fondly on the shoulder. "Jus' listening to these transmissions. It seems I stumbled upon this one while they're havin a fight."

 

He turned the volume knob up loud enough that they could both hear the transmission over the tiny microphone.

 

All Sonic could hear was yelling and screaming. He frowned a little; there were many obscene words mingled throughout the barrage. One of the voices sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn't tell who it was.

 

"Man, what's going on!?" Sonic said, unbelieving, as one of the insults made its way to his ears. It was so outlandish that he burst into laughter.

 

"They've been going on like that for about five minutes now!"

 

They laughed for a while, but grew quiet when the arguing stopped.

 

The screaming voice that Sonic had vaguely recognized quieted and calmed, and he knew it as ole Needlenose. 'Boy, that guy's got a mouth as big as his nose' he thought with a snicker.

 

"Well, Pollux, you'd better figure out a way to balance those power outputs. I am not going to have shoddy lighting in my room because you're too stupid to do your job."

 

They heard an annoyed grunt. "Huh. Easy for you to say. It's a hard job maintaining those factories, what with the rebels always wrecking them." There was a sigh. "We just don't have enough resources to run everything at once...or at least run it nice and smoothly. I wish we did."

 

There was another sigh, this time from Snively. "Fine. Whatever. Castor?"

 

"I told you, the 'roaches' will be done in a few days, and I meant it, pansy-boy."

 

"Suuuure." The human was very sarcastic. "You do that, Castor. You do that."

 

They heard a few muffled curses, then the tramp of booted feet across the metal floors.

 

"What are the 'roaches', Unc?"

 

His uncle lost his amused look and turned serious. "Well, Sonny-boy, I haven't heard too much about them. But from what I gather, they're going to be 'bots to patrol the airducts. I guess Robotnik figured out that that's how you guys sneak in a lot of the time."

 

Sonic frowned. "Man, that'll make our job tougher."

 

They sat quietly for a few moments.

 

"Don't worry, unc, we'll come up with some way to wreck those things."

 

Uncle Chuck nodded, but was not reassured. "I'm sure you will, Sonny-boy. I just worry about you and the others. It's dangerous here, and gets more dangerous every day."

 

"Aw, we can handle it." Sonic smiled. "Ya know, I'm worried about you too, unc. You should come to Knothole, it's safer there."

 

"Yes, but we've talked about this before, and my place is here. It's dangerous for all of us, I'm afraid." Chuck sighed. "I guess there's no use worrying about it."

 

Sonic patted his uncle on the arm. "It's ok. We'll win." 

 

His uncle nodded.

 

"But enough of this, huh? Rotor needs a little help on his new project."

 

"Ah yes, the aircraft." Chuck snapped out of his melancholy and slid on his wheeled chair over to his printer. He picked up a pile of papers and handed them to Sonic. "There, that oughta help him out."

 

Sonic leafed through the papers. None of it made sense to him. He saw a gibberish of numbers and complex instructions. There were a few pictures and graphs, but even these were covered in lines and notes. He shrugged. "I hope Rotor can understand this crud."

 

Chuck laughed. "I'm sure he can! Heh heh. Now, git outta here!" He checked the outside street with his hidden camera. "It's clear."

 

"See ya!" Sonic was out the door and gone in seconds.

 

 

The growth tube was almost set up. Ideal for creating clones, artificial life forms, doing genetic experimenting and mutations. Packbell had to give this one a nod of appreciation, since he'd been born in one.

 

"It's looking good, my furry friends," he said to the lab workers.

 

Elwood bent down to pick a moddie chip off the floor. He set it on one of the tables amidst the others. "Cloning is not my field, Commander Packbell."

 

Packbell's red eyes were focused on the tube. "It's not cloning exactly. We're growing a new life form which will be made of a mutation from two species' DNA."

 

"What I meant, was that...any sort of creating life forms is not our department. We create robots, not life."

 

"Hey, now, I resent that remark." The android grinned, silvery teeth flashing. "Really, Elwood, I'm hurt."

 

"I can imagine." Elwood's dry demeanor made it hard to tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

 

"So honestly, you don't consider me to be a living creature?" Packbell's eyes were curious.

 

"I don't know what to consider you." A small smirk tugged at the corner of Elwood's lips.

 

"Puh."

 

"You won't have much help from us, aside from setting up the tube. We don't know too much about this field."

 

"You said that already." Packbell gave the robotics leader a strange smile. "But it **is** my field, so don't worry that sexy head of yours about it."

 

Elwood raised an eyebrow.

 

The door slid open.

 

"Welcome back, commander. Seems we won't be doing your modifications quite as fast as you wished," Elwood greeted Snively.

 

"Whatever." The small human didn't seem interested. "I'm not the one concerned with it, and apparently, neither is Robotnik anymore."

 

Packbell snickered and rapped his knuckles on the tube. "Really. He's too busy coming up with these fab ideas."

 

"Fabulous? It's ridiculous," Snively grumbled. "Not to mention stupid, and a waste of time."

 

"I think it's cool." The unruly worker leaned over a table near them, eavesdropping.

 

"You would."

 

"Why? It is cool. A big dragon dude with wings and crap, that's awesome!"

 

"It's the fruitiest idea he's come up with yet."

 

Packbell laughed. "Are you sure about that one? He's had some pretty bad ones. If I recall right, though, you were the one who had the stupidest ones."

 

"Oh sure..." Snively rolled his eyes. "Like your ideas work, Packbell. You've never had one victory."

 

"The whole city never has a victory," the unruly worker laughed crudely. "Loserville, that's what I'd call this place."

 

"Enough talk," Elwood said calmly. "We have work to do." He looked pointedly at the eavesdropper. "Go help them attach the cables to the tube."

 

"Yeah, yeah." The worker slipped back into the fray.

 

 

Packbell and Snively watched as the growth tube's setup was completed, then cast looks at each other. Packbell grinned. "Don't look so grumpy, Snively-ivly, really. This is gonna be fun."

 

"You were the one complaining before."

 

"Because I have to work with these dorks, but ya take what ya get."

 

Snively imagined Castor could come up with some sort of sick insult for that phrase, then shook his head. 'Since when do I want to think like Castor? The heathen.'

 

There was a slight whirring noise, then a chiming noise rang out. The workers all looked up at the clock and chorused, "Dinner!"

 

They filed out of the lab.

 

Packbell shook his head. "My, so dedicated." He gestured around at the lab. "They don't even clean up their mess."

 

"The lab's **always** like this, Packbell," Snively grumbled.

 

"Ah."

 

Ludmilla hovered around their table. Snively looked over at her rather nervously. Packbell snickered.

 

"Um...may we help you?" Snively finally said.

 

"Poor Ludmilla has no date for dinner." The fox looked pointedly at him.

 

"Sorry, I have plans," said the small human hastily.

 

She looked downtrodden. "I vill be very lonely by myself."

 

Snively averted his gaze to the pile of moddie chips on the table. "I'm sorry, I...uh...I'm very busy, you know."

 

"Yes," she sighed, "I know." She pouted, and sniffled loudly.

 

"GAWD, Snivvy, you're so mean," said Packbell. "Look at this poor lady." He put a friendly arm around Ludmilla. "You can put aside your 'big' plans and have dinner, can't you?"

 

Snively shot Packbell a murderous look, while slowly backing away. "Sorry. Really."

 

Packbell moved behind Snively in one smooth motion, stopping his escape. "Aw, c'mon, loverboy, don't leave the lady hanging."

 

"Packbell, I'm going to kill you," Snively hissed under his breath. "I honestly am..."

 

Ludmilla pouted further, looking so dejected that Snively heaved a big sigh. "All right, Ludmilla, ok. I guess I can postpone my...uh...plans."

 

She clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, thank you, my little dear...I vill meet you in my room at 8:00."

 

"Uh, wait a minute, your room?" Snively did not seem to like this idea.

 

"Oh yes, it vill be a candlelight dinner. I vill go get dressed and get the food ready. You vill enjoy it."

 

"Uh...right." Snively looked a little sick as Ludmilla grinned and left the laboratory.

 

Packbell laughed and slapped Snively on the back. The human ended up sprawled across the table, scattering moddie chips everywhere. "Oh thanks a lot, Packbell," he groaned, not moving.

 

The android snickered.

 

The small human rolled off the table, then dusted himself off. "I can't believe this. What did I get myself into?"

 

"Who knows, you might get some action."

 

"Do you think I want 'action' from her, Packbell?"

 

"Hell, I think you'd want action from whatever you can get." Packbell grinned his perverted smile. "It would be better than that ole hand of yours."

 

"You may play with yourself, Packbell, but I have no time for such things." Snively sniffed indignantly, then turned on his heel to leave. His foot slipped on a moddie chip and he crashed onto the floor.

 

"Bad day, I imagine?" Elwood had finished the last touches on the growth tube. Now he reached a yellow hand down to help up Snively.

 

"Yes, and it's going to get worse." Snively sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I have a headache."

 

"You'd better get going, you don't want to be late for dinner."

 

"Shut up, Packbell. Just shut up." Snively hit the touchpad that opened the door and strode out.

 

"AND CHANGE INTO SOMETHING MORE ROMANTIC!!" bellowed Packbell after him.

 

Elwood looked at Packbell, then at Snively.

 

Packbell looked at him.

 

"No, me and him are not having dinner together."

 

"Oh."

 

Elwood did not sound convinced. 

 

 

 

Robotnik woke up from taking a brief nap. He yawned widely, blinking as he looked around the command center. Nobody was around.

 

He tapped into the COM link on his throne, contacting the laboratory where his lovely dragonmen would be grown.

 

He saw the laboratory. The leader of this particular lab, a tall yellow dog with very short brown hair and pale gray eyes, was bending over to pick up modification chips scattered all over the floor.

 

Packbell was leaning on one of the lab tables.

 

Robotnik tried not to notice that Packbell was staring at Elwood's rear as he bent over.

 

"Packbell," he said.

 

The android turned his head towards the COM monitor. "Oh, hello, Doctor."

 

"How goes the project?"

 

"The tube setup is complete."

 

"Very good!" Robotnik grinned.

 

"The lab workers seem to have some doubts."

 

"Now, that's not exactly true," said Elwood, straightening up. "It just is not our field, m'lord."

 

Robotnik always liked the way Elwood called him lord. But he was, wasn't he? He looked around the lab. "Where is Snively? I'm sure he had some wonderful things to say about my idea." Robotnik frowned, because Snively was always complaining about everything, and it could get very irritating sometimes. 'Especially since my ideas are brilliant.'

 

"Doesn't he always?" said Packbell.

 

"Excuse me," said Elwood, "but may I dismiss myself for dinner?"

 

"Yes, go ahead."

 

The dog nodded and left.

 

"Too bad I have to work with these guys," said the android, and Robotnik raised his eyebrow, sighing. Now even Packbell was complaining...

 

"They're all so tasty. It's very distracting."

 

Robotnik stared. "Really, Packbell. I never programmed you to be **that way**."

 

 

 

 

 

Snively stood outside Ludmilla's room, his nerves buzzing. 'I don't have to go', he thought to himself.

 

He'd had to ask for directions from one of the lab workers. He had no idea where her room was. 'And don't want to know.' But here he was.

 

There wasn't really anything to lose. 'Except for my dignity, of course.' But maybe if he gave into Ludmilla's little whim this time, she'd quit bothering him. 'Fat chance' he thought, and the word 'fat' made him think of Robotnik. Normally he'd be in the command center right now, working on stupid reports or watching surveillance.

 

"Anything has to be better than doing that," he said aloud, and entered Ludmilla's room.

 

Ludmilla's small room was set up very cozy. There was a thick rug on the cold metal floor, and the walls were covered with hand-knitted tapestries and blankets. She had a small round metal table in the room, and it was laden with food. It was just the regular ole crude the cook-bots made, but she managed to make it look quite elegant. The lights were off, and candles blazed from her dresser and the middle of the table.

 

Ludmilla emerged from the bathroom, patting her coiled braids. "I see you have arrived!" she exclaimed.

 

His mouth opened slightly as he eyed her outfit. She usually wore a long white labcoat. Now she wore a low-cut aqua colored dress with spaghetti straps. It swept down to her ankles, where white sandals resided. The tropical color contrasted very nice with her red fur. Jewelry sparkled on her neck, fingers and arms.

 

'Well,' he thought, 'maybe this won't be that bad...'

 

"It is good to see you," she grinned, engulfing him in a hug and her cushy body. She was quite a plump lady. She looked over his outfit. He'd donned a blue button-up shirt and a pair of gray pants, but hadn't changed out of his usual black workboots. He guessed it didn't matter...it wasn't like this was a date or anything.

 

She eyed the shirt critically, fingering the fabric in her fingers. It had a nice silky feel to it. He had every button done, and the collar looked like it was choking him.

 

"Hey!" he exclaimed as she unbuttoned the top three buttons of the shirt, then stepped back, smiling.

 

"That looks much better."

 

"Um, sure."

 

"Sit."

 

He sat down.

 

She swept her dress under her graciously as she took her seat. "How vas your day?"

 

He nearly rolled his eyes. 'For God sakes, sounds like we're married or something.' He shuddered. "It was just fine."

 

"Let's eat," she said.

 

The food was some sort of meat loaf, with green beans on the side. It tasted unusually good.

 

"This dragon project is very interesting, isn't it?"

 

He looked bored. "I guess."

 

 "It vill be very interesting to see the end result." Despite her large size, she did not eat rapidly. He found himself looking at her mouth as she chewed, quite delicately, white teeth flashing.

 

"Are they going to use your sperm?"

 

He nearly choked on a green bean. He coughed, raising his napkin to his mouth. "No!" he snapped. "They aren't. Can we please change the subject?"

 

She grinned. "Ok."

 

He shook his head irritably, even more annoyed that his cheeks were blazing hot. Dumb bitch. She said that crap to purposely embarrass him. Gave her kicks to see him squirm.

 

She reached for the bottle of wine on the table and uncorked it with a twist of her thumb-claw. The rich red liquid sparkled into his glass, then into hers. A drop fell onto the table. She soaked it up with her finger, then raised it to her lips. "Very good vine," she said. "Try it."

 

He sloshed it in his glass. "A toast...to the death of the Freedom Fighters."

 

She shook her head. "That is too mean," she chided. "Let's toast to something else. Our friendship."

 

He made a face, but lifted his glass to clink against hers. They were both silent as they sipped the heady beverage.

 

"So, Snively," she said, stressing the 'v' like she always did..., "do you like my necklace?"

 

The necklace was a 'Y' shape, a string of delicate colored beads that caught the light and glinted. The long arm of the 'Y' fell directly into her cleavage. It was almost like an arrow leading downwards to her rather generous chest. She didn't appear to be wearing anything under the dress, and although the room wasn't cold, he could see the form of the breasts very clearly. He gulped and she laughed throatily.

 

'She wore that on purpose,' he thought almost spitefully, as he looked away, cheeks scarlet in embarrassment.

 

************

 

Robotnik searched through vials in his largest laboratory. There was blood, hair, claw, and fur samples, and of course, eggs and sperm from various creatures. So far, he had not come across a vial of human DNA. 

 

It was rather interesting to examine the vials, for he wrote down all information on them, down to the last detail. He held a vial of blood, and knew in an instant that it had come from a female rabbit, aged 22, who had diabetes and a heart mummer.

 

"Now only do I have to find the DNA, but I must make sure the specimen has no defects such as that."

 

He heard the door slide open and turned. Packbell entered.

 

"Hello, sir. Any luck finding the ole DNA?"

 

"Not yet. I have thousands of vials stored here." The fat man sighed. "I suppose I could have a robot do it."

 

"Yeah," said Packbell, hoping Robotnik wouldn't pick him. He had better things to do than help Robotnik with his screwy plans. 'Snively-ivvy's right about one thing, Ivo sure does have some crappy ideas. Speaking of Snivvy..."

 

"How about I bring an empty vial to ole Needlenose? He's having dinner with Ludmilla...in her room."

 

"Lud...who? Oh yes." Robotnik remembered the chubby scientist. He could just imagine her and Snively....ugh. "Thank you so much for that visual, Packbell."

 

The android chuckled.

 

"I don't want his DNA in it, anyway. I want this beast to be strong! I do not want one groveling, conniving little cell from that pathetic nephew of mine in this creature!"

 

"I see your point." Packbell grinned. "How bout I give you some?"

 

Robotnik scowled a little. "It has to be from a living creature."

 

"So...you don't consider me to be a living creature...?"

 

"I may have created you Packbell, but now I don't know what to consider you..."

 

Packbell sighed in disappointment. "Damn, I was really looking forward to extracting the DNA from myself."

 

Robotnik growled, then threw Packbell soundly into the wall.

 

****

 

"Laaaadeeedaaaaa," sang Ludmilla as she stood up. Snively eyed her.

 

"What are you doing?" he said. She'd drank a lot of that wine. He hoped she wouldn't start....stripping or something.

 

"Ugh," he groaned aloud.

 

"I hope you did not stuff yourself too much," she purred, moving away. "For I have a very special dessert for you."

 

He stood up hastily. "Really, it was a lovely dinner..." he blurted, but she twirled around, holding a plate of cupcakes with thick chocolate frosting.

 

"Oh." He relaxed.

 

She noted his empty glass and poured him some wine. He had to admit the stuff was good, but it sure was powerful. He was not exactly a virgin to alcohol, but this stuff was strong. His veins were buzzing from it.

 

"My goodness, Ludmilla, are you trying to get me drunk?"

 

She giggled.

 

She set down the plate of cupcakes on the table, and took two. She sat down on the bed, gesturing for him to sit beside her. When he obeyed, she handed him the second cupcake, urging him to eat it with her smiling eyes and grinning mouth.

 

He wondered for a second if it was drugged. 'That's stupid', he thought. 'She's not that smart.'

 

He took a bite.

 

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "That's really good!"

 

She beamed happily.

 

The chocolate frosting was rich and luscious. He swallowed a few times, expecting it to be thick and hard to consume, but it managed to have a light quality to it. "How'd you get the frosting like that?"

 

"It is an old family recipe."

 

He accepted her explanation and eyed the plate, licking the crumbs off his fingers.

 

"Have another," she said, and he did.

 

She snuggled close to him as he chowed down on the tasty goodie, practically pulling him into her lap.

 

"Umm...that is sooo good," he said, finishing off the cupcake. He blinked, then squirmed out of Ludmilla's grasp. "Ahem... Ludmilla, please! What are you doing?"

 

"Just cuddling," she said.

 

He frowned a little. "Well, knock it off."

 

She pouted. "After I made you dessert, you be mean to poor Ludmilla?"

 

Now he felt bad. "I...I'm sorry," he stammered, looking down at the floor.

 

"Oh, don't be," she whispered, putting her hands up to his chest. She ran them upwards, fingering the collar, then dipping her fingers downwards onto his bare skin. She traced one finger along his collarbone, then upwards to his chin, tilting his head upwards.

 

He didn't have time to react. When she lifted his face, hers was there to meet it, and her lips were what touched upon his.

 

 

Robotnik was growing bored. He contacted the lab, wanting to gaze upon his growth tubes, and imagine the beasts they would soon harbor. It would be the death of those mangy children for sure.

 

He saw one of the workers. A nerdy looking porcupine with small round glasses turned to the monitor and quickly saluted. "My goodness, Lord Robotnik!"

 

"I have a job for you," he glanced at the worker's nametag, "Pollux."

 

"What is it, Lord Robotnik?"

 

"I want you to install surveillance cameras in all the air ducts surrounding this laboratory. I want no Freedom Fighters getting wind of my new project."

 

"All right, my lord. It'll take a couple hours..."

 

"Just don't take too long," grumbled Robotnik. "Now get to it."

 

The porcupine found all the equipment he needed in the lab. He would have to install cameras in all five airducts. He would need ten cameras. The cameras would have to look down both ways of the tunnel.

 

Then, he'd have to wire them to the main surveillance cameras in the room. Geezum, what work.

 

He wouldn't of minded...well not much...but Robotnik was still looking into the room via the COM monitor.

 

"Yes, m'lord?" he ventured.

 

"Oh, nothing. I'm just looking at my glorious tube."

 

Pollux looked over at the growth tube. 'Yeah, what's so glorious about it'? It was just a dumb glass tube. Didn't look any different than a roboticizer. 'He's a strange cat', he thought, 'very strange.'

 

 

Pollux got to work, all the while having to listen to Robotnik blab about what his dragonmen would do to the freedom fighters. Pollux didn't know why Robotnik went to such lengths to destroy the children. He'd captured them plenty of times, or so Pollux had heard. He wasn't really involved in such things. But he'd heard that Robotnik insisted on coming with grandiose plans to destroy them.

 

How silly. If Pollux was going to kill them...and he wasn't really a killer-type, but...if he was, he'd kill 'em straight-off. None of this fancy bullcrap.

 

He'd gotten three of the cameras hooked up and was testing them. Robotnik affirmed that they were working by checking them on the main monitors in the control room.

 

The doors to the lab slid open. Pollux looked at the clock. Dinner wasn't over yet. Besides, the lab workers weren't required to come back after dinner. Not unless Robotnik ordered it. Of course, with this new project, Pollux imagined he had. Ah well. This wasn't his department anyway. He was a factory maintainer, not a robot-builder.

 

Castor strode in. He worked robotics, although he wasn't akin with this particular lab. A 'wussy' lab, he called it. He worked on warrior-robots. He bragged about being on the team that had created Mecha Sonic, under Robotnik's direct command.

 

'Big fat deal', thought Pollux. 'It's not like any of his precious warrior-bots ever beat the rebels.' He smirked. It was funny that a band of raggedy children could cause such trouble.

 

Castor was pushing a large cart stacked with monitoring equipment from the infirmary.  Oxygen machines, IV equipment, heart monitors... All this stuff would be attached to the growth tube. 

 

There was a techbot alongside Castor.

 

Pollux shook his head, leaning his head into the third airduct. He shone his flashlight around, frowning as it glinted off something. He reached in and pulled out a small metal device. A bug.

 

'Sir Robotnik, I found this," he said. "It isn't one of yours, is it?"

 

He held the device up to the COMM monitor. His large leader scowled heavily. "No, it must be from that blasted spy, Sir Charles. He must be still working here!"

 

"Do you want me to destroy it?"

 

"Yes, do it." Robotnik sounded none too pleased.

 

Pollux threw the bug to the floor and stamped on it.

 

The techbot cleaned up the mess. But inside, it was not a mere robot. It was Uncle Chuck, wearing his secret disguise. He was a bit dismayed as he picked up the pieces. Great. Now he'd have to get another bug planted here. If he could. Seemed the porcupine worker was installing surveillance cameras everywhere.

 

Robotnik turned his grumpy eyes upon the techbot. "What is that thing doing in here!? I don't want any of those bumbling robots around my project! Leave at once."

 

Uncle Chuck had no choice but to turn around and leave. 

 

He headed for his hideout, where he sat and pondered for a long while. This sucked. He couldn't listen in on the lab, couldn't go in, couldn't do anything. He sighed, and decided to listen in to the command center instead. Maybe Robotnik would reveal the plan by gloating aloud or talking to one of his commanders.

 

'I'll have to keep an eye out as best I can.'

 

***

 

The fog was burning off as the noon sun hung over Robotropolis. Robotnik stood, scowling. In front of him was one of the wheeled lab carts.

 

"A minor problem," he said. "I found a vial of DNA from both a male and a female dragon. However, the only human DNA I could find was from a female."

 

"Yeah?" Packbell shrugged. "So, what's the problem?"

 

"I was hoping to have male DNA as well. The more we have to work with, the more problems we can eliminate. Plus, the female's DNA is somewhat flawed."

 

"Ah, well, we can work out the kinks, right team?" Packbell looked around at the lab group, who muttered and groaned.

 

"I want you to make me one female and one male dragonman, Packbell."

 

Packbell raised an eyebrow. "A girl dragon? Why do you want to create a weak female?"

 

The female lab workers scowled.

 

"Oh, so sorry," crooned Packbell. "Really. But we all know that girls can't fight worth shit."

 

"Oh yeah?" growled one of them, clenching a fist. Packbell waved it away with a nonchalant hand. "Gimme a break. That's pathetic."

 

Robotnik growled, turning his commander's attention back towards him. "I have my reasons, Packbell, and the female dragon-mix will be every bit of strong as the male."

 

"If that's possible," muttered the android. Robotnik gave him the evil eye and he shut up.

 

The screen blinked off and Packbell shook his head. "He wants a girl? How stupid."

 

"You fricken' chauvinist, you think just because you have a..."

 

"Put a sock in it," snapped Packbell. "Your nagging and whining is just another flawed trait of women."

 

The girl sighed and gave up. There was no use in trying to talk sense into an android once it had its mind set.

 

 

The sun was hovering in the 2:00 position in the sky. Elwood came back to the lab after going on a run for a fresh cup of coffee and a doughnut. Oh sure, they had a coffee maker in the lab. Elwood was just afraid of what some of his 'wonderful' group might've slipped into it.

 

His group was clustered around the tall Packbell who was bent over one of the lab tables. Elwood was tall as well, and managed to see over his group. Packbell had an eyedropper in one hand and a petri dish in the other. He was carefully combining the male DNA from the dragon and the female human.

 

"There," he said, after a while of carefully manipulating the combined DNAs under a powerful microscope with delicate tools, "It's done."

 

He picked up the vial where the human's DNA had resided. He read it, then made a disapproving clicking noise with his tongue. "She had poor eyesight, not to mention high blood pressure. Hmmmm. A weak heart as well."

 

"That doesn't sound good," said Ludmilla.

 

"You got that right, chubbychunks."

 

Ludmilla said nothing, but the other female spat and cursed under her breath.

 

"This does kinda suck," said the android. He hummed and hawed for a few moments. Some of the lab workers laughed at him. The others went back to work on upgrading the SWATbots.

 

Packbell tapped the COMM link, patching into the command center. "Hey, Snively!" He leaned back in a chair to wait.

 

The wait was not long. Snively's annoyed face appeared on the monitor. "What is it, Packbell?!" he hissed, sounding slightly enraged.

 

"Sheesh Louise, man, calm down." The android snickered.

 

Snively raised an eyebrow.

 

"Come down to the lab, I gotta talk to you."

 

Snively glanced off the screen, probably looking at Robotnik. "All right. In a few minutes."

 

"Well, hurry up Needlenose, I ain't got all day." Packbell disconnected the link before Snively could gripe at him.

 

 

 

Packbell twirled the vial around on the table for a while as he waited. Finally the doors to the lab slid open.

 

"What do you want, Packbell? I was busy."

 

"Sure, Snivvy, I'm sure you were very busy..." Packbell paused. "...last night. So, how was your little dinner date?"

 

Snively frowned. "Oh, so that's what you want to talk about?"

 

"How was it?"

 

"It was just dandy, Packbell."

 

"Heh, I bet it was. So did you two..." Packbell nudged Snively and winked.

 

"Yeah, Ludmilla served him up a real nice dessert," laughed the bratty lab worker.

 

Snively turned to him. "Yes, she did. Chocolate cupcakes."

 

"Ooooh!" squealed Packbell. "Did they have a cherry on top? I bet you just loved to eat that cherry."

 

Snively tried to ignore the sexual overtones of Packbell's question. "No, they didn't."

 

Packbell and the unruly worker laughed.

 

Snively crossed his arms over his chest. "Cut the crap, Packbell. What the hell do you want?"

 

"Come here."

 

Packbell showed Snively the mixed DNA. It was inside an incubator tube.

 

"Yes, so?"

 

"This is the male dragon and the female human's DNA mixed together. But the female human has flaws."

 

"So, it'll come out shoddy, I imagine."

 

"Maybe, and maybe not. We can probably fix some of the problems by making the dragon's genes the dominant ones. Now, we also have some female dragon eggs here. However, we don't have any male Overlander's sperm."

 

"SO?" Snively was becoming exasperated, even more so now that he knew where the conversation was headed.

 

"Well, I want some! I don't want to mix the same combination again. If the first dragon is a botch up, then we'll still have another chance. If we have the new sperm that is..."

 

"It's stupid. Dragons and humans aren't compatible. The two components will reject each other."

 

"Don't be so doubtful! Science can work wonders, my friend. I mean, just look at me."

 

"Bad example," said the lab worker and laughed.

 

"Very bad example," scoffed Snively. "If the dragonman turns out anything like you..."

 

"I think I'll need the sheets off of Ludmilla's bed," said Packbell. "I think I'll find all the male DNA on there that I need. Eh, Snively?"

 

"Nothing happened, so shut the hell up."

 

"Her sheets are probably drenched. Probably still haven't dried out yet. I bet you two were pretty messy. So, who was on top? Probably you, eh, she probably would've crushed ya otherwise. Or did you do it doggy-style?"

 

"You stupid 'droid, if you don't shut up..."

 

Packbell pulled Snively into the corner, out of the other workers' earshot. He handed the human a small plastic cup. "Ok, Snively, be a good boy and give me some of that spicy lovesauce. You gotta have a little left over."

 

"You're fuckin' nuts, Packbell, if you think I'm giving you anything, especially 'spicy lovesauce'!" Snively spat. "That's sick!"

 

"I want it," said Packbell. "Don't make me get it out of you myself." He laughed and scrabbled his hands on Snively's chest. The human skittered backwards, nearly falling over a chair.

 

"Don't touch me, you pervert."

 

"It'll only take a few minutes, I wager, so get going. Otherwise, I'll have to show the lab some beautiful photographs I happened to take last night."

 

"What are you talking about?" Snively glared at Packbell suspiciously.

 

"Well, the very first day Ludmilla ever came onto you...hmmm...what? Three years ago? Anyway, I installed a hidden camera in her room. Just in case there might be a nice chance to humiliate you. It worked like a charm, I must say."

 

"Are you saying you have a photo of me and Ludmilla?"

 

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Would you like to see?"

 

"No," said Snively, but Packbell pulled the photo out of his pocket and showed it anyway. Snively groaned. Great. It was a picture of him and Ludmilla kissing. She had her arms around him, practically lifting him off the ground. He remembered...he'd tried to push her away. But the way the photo captured it, it looked like he was burying his hand in her hair and grabbing at her chest.

 

'Great, just great,' he cursed inwardly. It wasn't that it was a big major deal. But he hated it whenever Packbell got the best of him.

 

"You wouldn't dare!" he snapped.

 

"Sure, I wouldn't..." Packbell chuckled evilly. "Who's going to stop me? You loverboy? And what about this picture...?" He held out another snapshot. This one was even worse.

 

Snively stared at it. This was when Ludmilla had tackled him onto the bed...

 

"So, Snively, did you like my dessert?"

 

"Uh, yes. It was great." He tried to squirm out from under the large woman, but she pinned him down with her thigh. Her fingers danced over his chest, sliding in between the buttons.

 

"It vas good, vasn't it?" she said with a touch of pride. "But good cooking isn't all that runs in my family."

 

"I can imagine," he panted, trying to breathe. 'I bet all your family are overbearing and fat'. 

 

She unbound her braids so the hair fell all around them. He squirmed uneasily. It was like being in a big yellow tent. He brushed the hair aside and wiggled away. She grabbed him by the legs and leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

 

The photo showed this moment. Her with her hair flying all over, kissing him, her hands clutching his legs. Again, he was trying to fend her off, and the shot made it look like he was reaching for her chest. Her disheveled hair added even more of a raunchy touch.

 

"PACKBELL! You know that's not what it looks like!"

 

"Maybe it is and maybe it isn't, you sexy wittle thing, but the lab workers won't know the difference, will they?"

 

"You're a bastard." He snatched away the cup from Packbell. "You don't even need...you know... You can just use hair or something."

 

"Ok, fine." Packbell reached his hand out and ripped out one of Snively's hairs. The small human shrieked and rubbed his head.

 

"OW!"

 

Packbell held up the strand to the light, twirling it around. "This'll take more work," he grumbled. "I'll have to extract the DNA code itself and graft them together. You do realize that you're making me work much harder than I'd like."

 

"GOOD!" The small human growled and threw down the cup in disgust. "Stupid prick."

 

Packbell carried the hair back to his workstation. Then he looked mischievously over at Snively, and raised his voice.

 

"Hey, everyone, would you like to see some sexy photos?"

 

***

 

The smoggy mornings sped by, and weeks of rain. The sun came back one day, finally. Its return after a month of hiding was only seen by a few of the Robotropolians. They were concerned with other matters.

 

Snively was banging away on his keyboard, typing up some report or another. He was really very bored. He stood up and stretched, then glanced over at his coffee cup. It was full. Damn.

 

"I need an excuse to get out of here," he thought.

 

He swept his hand over the console, knocking the coffee cup to the ground. He watched in satisfaction as the brown liquid spread over the floor, then winced as his uncle bellowed. "CLEAN UP THAT MESS!"

 

"Of course, sir."

 

He smirked to himself as he left the room.

 

 

In the kitchen, he found Castor there, making some kind of sandwich. He scrunched up his face in disgust when he saw Castor layer slices of banana over bologna.

 

"That's really disgusting," he said.

 

Castor jumped, then scowled. "What the hell are you talking about? This here is 'tres' gourmet."

 

"It's 'tres' nasty."

 

"Keep your stupid comments to yourself, Needlenose."

 

Snively pulled out some paper towels and set them on the counter.

 

"So, any problems with the roaches?"

 

"Nope, they're workin' like a charm....you had no doubts, I bet."

 

"No."

 

"Puh, yeah right." Castor put a slice of bread on top of his masterpiece. "Ummm..ummm, is this gonna be good."

 

Snively put on a nauseated expression and left with the paper towels.

 

***

 

Robotnik slumped boredly in his chair, watching as his nephew cleaned up the mess he'd so clumsily made. Sometimes Robotnik thought he did it on purpose.

 

"I imagine you think you can get out of your reports by making messes," he grumbled.

 

"Of course not, sir," said Snively, scrubbing away. "You think I'd knocked it over on purpose?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Never sir, never!" he exclaimed, sounding mortified.

 

The large monitor in the command center lit up. Packbell's gleeful face covered the screen. "Yeah, yeah, hush," he growled off-screen, before turning back. "GOOD NEWS SIR!!" He yelled.

 

Robotnik jumped in his chair, staring at the screen. "Yes?"

 

Snively sat back on his heels to watch Packbell.

 

"IT'S TIME..." The android's loud voice reverterbrated off the walls. Snively rolled his eyes. "FOR PHASE 2!"

 

Robotnik leaped out of his throne. "Phase 2?! Are you sure!?"

 

"YES!!!" The android shouted, and the lab workers screamed and threw things behind him.

 

"EXCELLENT!" Robotnik bellowed. He shut down the COM link and began jumping around in pure glee. Snively dropped his towels and made a quick exit before one of Robotnik's jumps landed on him.

 

"Oh, this is most excellent!" His uncle grabbed him by the arms and twirled him around.

 

"SIR, PLEASE! Control yourself!"

 

Robotnik set him down and practically skipped out of the room. "Come along, Snively! My masterpiece awaits!"

 

***

 

Uncle Chuck sat back in his chair and examined his newest device. It was a small remote with an antennae. The purpose of it was to disrupt the signal of the surveillance cameras, making them record either static or blackness...either way, it would not be **his** picture they'd be seeing.

 

'Perfect for sneaking up on that lab!' he thought.

 

He strapped the remote onto his arm and began his long crawl towards the lab. If he'd been flesh, the heat and stuffy air of the ducts would've had him resting several times. As it was, he didn't stop until he reached the area around the lab.

 

He flipped the remote to 'on'.

 

He began crawling again, then stopped. There was a strange clicking noise above him. He turned on his back, seeing there was an offshoot of the duct above him, leading further up into the building. He shrugged, starting to turn back over, then froze.

 

Something red glowed in the duct above him, and the clicking noise was much louder this time. He could hear the soft whir of moving parts.

 

There was a screech and whatever-it-was dived down at him. He skittered away, heading back the way he'd came.  It was right behind him. He whirled, and gasped.

 

It was a robot, shaped like an enormous roach! The wing-like apparatus on its back seemed to be used like slicing weapons instead of for flight. The eyes glowed scarlet, and instead of antenna, it had two slim laser rifles. 

 

"Oh cripes."

 

It pounced upon him. He shrieked and threw it off, bolting down the tunnel. It was upon him in a moment, digging into his back with claw-like legs. He felt one of the long claws puncture his side. He howled, slamming against the side of the duct, shaking off the roach.

 

It recovered quickly, and once again, had him. He managed to roll on his back, kicking and punching wildly.

 

The roach fell off him, sprawling onto its back.

 

He fled.

 

He looked back, and chuckled slightly upon seeing the machine still on its back.

 

"Well...I guess they did a good job modeling it after a real roach."

 

He wondered if he could sneak around it and continue on his way to the lab.

 

But clickings from down the tunnel warned him that there were more roaches coming...and he had no desire to be there when they arrived.

 

He sighed and went back to his hideout.

 

**

Robotnik rubbed his hands together as he eyed his creations. They were in the growth tubes, suspended in the fluid that surrounded them. Their bodies bristled with wires and tubes that fed and monitored them.

 

The plan was to age them 3 months for every 1 month that went by in real time. The two dragon-mixes were now three months old, and looked quite delicate. Robotnik knew, however, that they would be formidable when they were older.

 

"Vhat now?" asked Ludmilla.

 

"This is a very impressionable age they're at. A very good age to instill hatred towards the rebels within them."

 

"A good age to introduce them to violence...at least in their minds," added Packbell.

 

"And a very good age to instill total obedience to **me**."

 

The lab workers refrained from rolling their eyes. Robotnik wouldn't like that. And when he didn't like something, he destroyed it.

 

"How will you do that, m'lord?" asked Elwood.

 

"Well," began Robotnik, then glared over at Packbell, who was making silly faces at the babies. "Packbell, knock it off. I'm trying to be dramatic here."

 

"You're always dramatic, sir, you don't need help from me. Gotchi-goo!"

 

Robotnik pulled out a mess of wires. "These will be wired into their brains, connected to a video."

 

"You're going to put them into virtual reality?"

 

"Yes, somewhat."

 

"Snively, the disc?"

 

"I have it here, sir." Snively pulled out the video disc.

 

"Good, now get to it," said Robotnik. With a dramatic swirl of his cape, he made his oh-so dramatic exit.

 

"Yeah, and what exactly is that?" Castor poked his finger at the disc in Snively's hand.

 

"Watch it, you cretin!" He angrily wiped a smudge off the disc. "It's a video Robotnik had me put together. Kinda like the 'clockwork orange'."

 

"The what?"

 

"Nevermind! It contains footage of the Freedom Fighters...negative footage, you see. So the babies will instinctively hate them. It also has a bunch of bull about Robotnik being the supreme leader of the world...he thinks that'll make them respect him."

 

"Ah-ha, that's a good one."

 

"I know. Anyway, it also has very violent scenes...everything is laced together with subliminal messages, telling the dragonmen that this is what they are supposed to do...this is what they were born for..."

 

"That's kinda twisted."

 

"Tell me about it." Snively rolled his eyes. "I told you this was a fruity idea."

 

"You didn't have to tell me, I knew it from the start."

 

"Will you two quit blabbing? And give me that disc." Packbell snatched it from Snively's hand, and nodded approvingly at the lab workers, who were already starting to wire the babies up. "I hope you didn't accidentally grab one of your gay porn discs, Snively."

 

"Ah, shut up, Packbell."

 

"Gay porn, eh?" Castor smirked. "I knew you were queer."

 

"If anybody has gay porn discs, it's you, Castor!" Snively sniffed indignantly, and turned away.

 

They all laughed as he tripped over the bundle of wires attached to the growth tube and ended up sprawled onto the floor.

 

***

 

For three months, the footage looped itself over and over. The babies floated placidly at first. But little by little, the footage took its toll. They gnashed their teeth at the sight of the Freedom fighters, flayed their little arms and legs as if attacking.

 

Robotnik then ordered them to be put back to sleep. They could not accelerate the growth when they were conscious.

 

While they slept and grew, their ears rang with whispered subliminal messages. They were not awake to see the footage anymore, but still...its message of hatred and violence crept into their brains, fusing itself into their very beings...

 

Clone number 1 also gained another charming aspect to his personality. When Robotnik found out, he nearly threw Packbell out the highest window.

 

"YOU DID WHAT?"

 

"Ah, lighten up. It's funny."

 

"Very funny, yes, Packbell. I'm laughing."

 

"If you took the pole out of your..."

 

*Crash* Packbell was hurled out the window. Robotnik hoped his android was durable. 200 stories was a long way down.

 

"Ahhhhh, sirrrr! It was only a gay porn disc!!"

 

***

 

"It's nearly done...nearly done!" The walrus hissed excitedly to himself.

 

He dipped his brush into a white can of paint and squinted as he thought. The hover unit he'd built...

 

"It has to have a great name."

 

"How about 'avenger?" suggested Antoine.

 

Rotor jumped and turned to the window of his workshop. The French fox was leaning in.

 

"Avenger? That's kinda...corny..."

 

Antoine frowned. "Oh, and what were you thinking of naming eet?"

 

"Rampager!"

 

"Rampager? That ees so dumb!"

 

"Whatever! It's cool!"

 

"'Avenger' makes more sense. We are avenging ourselves against Robotneek!"

 

"'Rampager' means we're gonna lay waste to ole tubbo! It's a lot better!"

 

"Avenger ees much more catchy-sounding."

 

"Yeah right. It sounds like something all right. Like cheese. As in cheesy."

 

Antoine scowled, then his eyes lit up. "I have an idea! Let us name eet 'Sally'!"

 

Rotor groaned. "Ant, you've got Sally on the brain."

 

"Or 'De Princess', we could name eet that!"

 

"Or we could name it "Antoine has no chance in hell", came a familiar voice. Sonic nudged Antoine aside. "Quit being a creep, Ant." His eyes widened at the sight of the hover unit. "Wow. You really are getting far on that thing, aren't ya?"

 

"Yeah, it's nearly done. Except for a name."

 

"Any ideas?"

 

"Well, besides Antoine's 'Sally', 'De Princess', and 'Avenger', I came up with a real good one... 'Rampager'."

 

Sonic scoffed. "They're all dumb. I got one. "The Hot Chilidog".

 

"Ya know...'De Princess' isn't starting to sound so bad," Rotor chuckled.

 

"Oh fine," said Sonic. "Don't listen to me." He turned up his nose in a mock snooty gesture. "I never!"

 

"Nevair what?" asked Antoine. Sonic rolled his eyes.

 

Rotor twirled his paintbrush in the white paint. "I've got it!"

 

 

 

 

"Ah, Rotor, it's beautiful!" exclaimed Bunnie later that evening at the unveiling of Rotor's invention...

 

The Knothole crowd cheered.

 

Bunnie scratched her head. "But who da heck is Princess ARC?"

 

Rotor leaned in and whispered while Sonic snickered.

 

"The Princess of Avenging Rampaging Chilidogs..."

 

***

 

"TRY IT! TRY IT!!"

 

"I really think not." Robotnik pushed away the sandwich that Castor offered him.

 

"This is the best damn food you'll ever taste, Sir, and I mean that."

 

Robotnik eyed the sandwich. The black, tan, and white dog smiled and waved it closer. The sandwich appeared to be made of baloney and bananas. Truly repulsive.

 

"Food of the Gods. Food of the Gods, I tell ya."

 

"If so, then I should at least try it," said Robotnik with a smirk.

 

Castor watched closely as his leader took a small bite of the sandwich. After some very difficult chewing and rather unattractive faces, Robotnik finally managed to swallow.

 

"That was....horrible..."

 

He bent over the sink for a moment, but managed not to puke.

 

Snively laughed.

 

Robotnik turned to his nephew. "Oh, you think that's funny?" He thrust the sandwich at him. "You eat it."

 

Snively shook his head. "No thanks, sir."

 

Robotnik shook the sandwich. A slice of banana slid out and plopped on the floor in front of Snively's foot. He looked down at it in disgust. Then it was crushed as his uncle advanced on him.

 

"I want you to eat this...every bit of this, and that's a direct order."

 

Snively looked at Robotnik like he was nuts. "You're joking, right, sir?"

 

"I'm joking, wrong."

 

"But I can't eat that!"

 

"You can, and you will." Robotnik's voice lowered threateningly. Snively sighed and took the sandwich from his uncle.

 

Both he and Castor had a good long laugh as Snively managed to force down half of the sandwich.

 

"Is that enough, sir?" he asked with his mouth full, tears welling up in his eyes.

 

"NO! THE WHOLE THING!"

 

Snively leaned over the sink and puked.

 

Castor and Robotnik burst into laughter again.

 

Pollux ran into the kitchen. He was panting. "Sir...sir...there you are!" He puffed a big breath into Castor's face. Castor shoved him away.

 

"WHEW!" Pollux leaned on the counter, clutching his side. "Sir Robotnik..." he paused to take a breath. "Commander Packbell wants you down in the lab right away..." He paused again, this time to raise an eyebrow at Snively, who was moaning over the sink. "Uhh...He wants you to come down to the lab. Phase 3 is ready!"

 

"Really?" asked Castor, mildly interested, but Robotnik nearly shrieked with delight.

 

"PHASE 3!? WONDERFUL!! You hear that?" He slapped Castor on the back, then grabbed Snively and gleefully danced him around the room, but quickly deposited him back at the sink.

 

Pollux stared at Snively as he bent over the sink, making rather horrid noises. "What's his problem, anyway?"

 

Castor shook his head. "Some people have no taste."

 

"Ohhh." Pollux smiled knowingly. "He ate one of your sandwiches, didn't he?"

 

***

 

Uncle Chuck sat in his chair, grinding his teeth. He sat there for a long long time, grinding his teeth. With his robotic ears, he could hear each individual tooth as they ground and squealed against each other.

 

He was getting rather annoyed.

 

His bug had picked up the conversation in the kitchen. He knew for sure 'Phase 3' was referring to Robotnik's special project, the one on which he still had no information.

 

"I'll never get the info. All they ever say outside the lab is 'Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3..."

 

He decided to activate the hidden camera that went along with bug. He scanned the room. Maybe they'd left some clue.

 

The first thing he noticed was a partially eaten sandwich. He zoomed in on it, a bit puzzled. He sat back with a scowl.

 

"What the heck is in that thing?"

 

***

 

From the shaking of the floor, the lab group knew Robotnik was approaching. They scampered around to clean the place up. Robotnik didn't like messes.

 

"Don't bother," Packbell said. "He isn't going to be looking at that."

 

Elwood picked some stuff off the floor. "It doesn't hurt to be neat."

 

"According to this lab, it doesn't hurt to be a slob, either."

 

The doors slid open. The workers grinned and bowed upon seeing their large leader.

 

"Is it time to unveil them?"

 

"Yes, M'Lord," said Elwood.

 

"Smile a little, will ya?" Castor nudged the yellow dog. Elwood ignored him, turning his interest to Snively instead.

 

"You look quite ill, Commander."

 

"I feel quite ill," Snively griped, clutching his stomach.

 

"He ate one of Castor's sandwiches," explained Pollux.

 

"Ahhhh." Elwood motioned towards the lab sink. "Rinse it thoroughly after you're done."

 

"Aw, can it. I don't need that anymore."

 

Packbell poised by the controls for the growth tube, a dopey smile on his face. "They are roughly 20 years old. Big. Strong. Despite initial problems with the DNA, they are flawless."

 

"Sounds good." Robotnik rubbed his hands together giddily. "Unveil them!"

 

Packbell pressed a button. There was a clicking sound as the wires and tubes attached to the dragonmen released. The heart monitor screeched and flat-lined.

 

"Shut that thing off."

 

Elwood did.

 

"Ok," said Packbell. "Now I'll drain the fluid." He pressed another button and the fluids filling the tubes drained out.

 

"Everyone, count down! 5...4...3...2...1!" He pressed the button that opened the tubes. They slid off their bases and up into the ceiling. Steam poured out. The lab workers 'oohed' and 'ahhhed' as the two dragonmen stepped out.

 

"Vow!" Ludmilla exclaimed.

 

The male dragonman was 6 feet tall. He was built like a humanoid. His scaled body was a gray-ish green with accents of red. His neck was a bit longer than a normal anthro's, and extremely muscular. His entire body rippled with muscle. From his shoulders, a pair of leathery wings hung folded.

 

The female stepped up beside him. She was shorter, around 5'6. Her body was more lean, but still rock-hard with muscle. Her scales were brighter than her companion's dusty green; a pretty green-ish blue color. Her wings were more delicate in shape.

 

They rubbed at their eyes with long fingers, topped with long claws.

 

"They're beautiful," said Robotnik. "Dragonmen, face me!"

 

They snapped to attention quickly, their arms straight at their sides. Packbell smiled as he observed their faces. The male had oily-looking black eyes. The female had pale blue.

 

Packbell nudged Snively. "Looks like she got something from you, Needlenose. Let's just hope she don't get your wussy-ness either."

 

"Shut up."

 

"What shall I name them?" Robotnik mused.

 

"I like the name 'Lydia'," said Ludmilla.

 

"Dragonman B, your name is now Lydia," said Robotnik. The female dragon nodded.

 

Packbell raised his eyebrow at her as she caught his eye. "She's hot," he said with a grin. "You wouldn't mind joining me later, would you?" he asked her.

 

Lydia looked him over critically. "No. I really don't think so." And she knocked him onto the floor with one swift punch.

 

He sat up, holding his hand to his crushed nose. "Wowwww...I really like her!"

 

"Oh, but I thought women were wimps?" sneered the female lab worker. Packbell grinned up at her.

 

"Really? I don't recall ever saying that."

 

The male dragonman folded his arms. "What's my name?"

 

Robotnik narrowed his eyes in thought. "I don't know yet."

 

"Well, hmmm, maybe you'd better come up with one."

 

Robotnik scowled. "You'd best learn from the start not to take that tone with me!"

 

"That's for sure," muttered Snively. The male turned and eyed him.

 

"Do you have a name for me?"

 

"No."

 

"Why not?"

 

"Because I don't!"

 

"Well, come up with one! Please?"

 

"Freak of nature?"

 

"Oh, Snivvy, that's not nice," said Packbell, standing up. "Name him 'Korbin'."

 

The dragonman bowed. "Allow me to introduce myself...I am Korbin."

 

Robotnik grinned. "There. These dragonmen are perfect. They will be perfectly trained, and they will eliminate the freedom fighters..."

 

Snively scowled. Korbin was staring at him, smiling.

 

"What's your problem?" He self-consciously put a hand to his face.

 

Korbin moved closer to him. "Your nose...it's just so...pointy!"

 

Castor snorted. "Uh-oh...he's already hitting on Snively... I guess a queer recognizes a queer."

 

"Castor, for once, would you just shut up!" Snively turned on the dog, teeth bared.

 

Castor snickered. "Well, it's the truth...OW!" He groaned and collapsed as Snively nailed him in the crotch.

 

"Both of you shut up," Robotnik growled. He turned to Packbell. "I will continue to entrust their care to you and this lab. Teach them fighting, Packbell. Snively, you can teach them reading, mathematics, and other essential things. The rest of you feel free to throw in any kernels of knowledge you *might* have."

 

"But, sir, they're just fighting machines," protested Snively. "Why should I waste my time on---"

 

"Do you want them to be stupid?"

 

"They're already stupid," Snively hissed.

 

"Don't make me smack you," Robotnik threatened. Packbell snickered.

 

"I'm sorry, sir, but why do they need to know all that?"

 

"I do not want incompetent minions, although I have to put up with them occasionally." Robotnik looked pointedly at his nephew, who had a hard time keeping his tongue in his mouth. "That's the problem...I have superb warriors, but they're all morons!"

 

Packbell looked miffed. "Not me, sir!"

 

"Well, not you, then..."

 

"Packbell's gay," said Castor. "I think Snively had a part in that, though..."

 

Snively punched him in the crotch again.

 

"I can't stand any more of this foolishness. You all know what to do, so get to it." Robotnik left the room, swirling his cape oh-so-dramatically like always.

 

"Uhhh yeah." Castor looked at the two overgrown lizards, who were wandering around the lab. "He didn't mean me, ya know. So I'm outta here."

 

"Good riddance," said Snively as he left.

 

"Well, Lydia, Korbin, I'm Commander Packbell, and I'll train you to fight. Would you like that?"

 

"Yeah!" said Korbin.

 

"I'm hungry," said Lydia.

 

Packbell pointed to Snively. "And that is Snively-ivly. He'll teach you...other random crap. Nothing as important as kicking some furry's ass."

 

Ludmilla winked at Packbell. "Vill Snively teach *me* a thing or two?"

 

 

A month later

 

"Teach me more, Snively," cooed Korbin, after solving a particularly hard math problem.

 

Snively scowled. It was hard to believe, but Korbin was very intelligent and a fast learner. 'Hard to believe someone so smart acts so stupid.'

 

He turned around and batted Korbin's hands away. "Sit down in your chair, Korbin. And quit rubbing my shoulders!"

 

Korbin sat down in his chair, pouting. "But doesn't it feel nice?"

 

"No." Snively groaned. He was starting to get a migraine. Being around Korbin was a torturous experience.

 

"Should I rub somewhere else, then?"

 

Snively's frown deepened. Korbin thought pretty soon, ole Snivvy would have deep grooves between his eyes where his brow wrinkled up. Everytime he looked, his little mentor was always frowning or looking like a grouch. Korbin couldn't imagine why.

 

"Korbin, if you don't shut up and pay attention..."

 

The dragon-mix flattened down his ears. Sounded like he was about to get chewed out. He didn't know why his dear little Snivvy was so very mean and rude. 'I'm only being friendly,' thought Korbin. 'He gets all snappy about a friendly little massage.'

 

He turned at the sound of the doors sliding open. Packbell strolled in, smiling widely.

 

"Hey, Snively-ivly, looks like our hard work has paid off. Robotnik thinks they're ready to go."

 

"It's about time," grumbled the small human. He swiped angrily at the books on the table. "Calculus. Why the hell do they need to know calculus?"

 

"Tsk, tsk, questioning the fat man's orders?"

 

"Judging from the stupid ideas he's had lately, I'd say we should question them more."

 

Korbin stood up. "You mean me and Lydia are ready to go after the Freedom Fighters?"

 

"Ya got it."

 

The dragonman grinned evilly. "I'm ready! Very ready."

 

"Good. Let's go then. Robotnik wants you and your 'sister' in the command center right now."

 

They left.

 

 

****

 

 

Uncle Chuck gritted his teeth as he crawled down the air duct. Today. Was the day. He would. Make it. To the lab.

 

He carried a pipe in one hand to squash any roaches in his path. Yes, they would all fall to his almighty might. In his chest compartment, he had the remote to disrupt the surveillance cameras.

 

As he drew nearer to the elusive lab, he heard the clicking sounds of a roach approaching. He clutched his pipe tighter.

 

This roach would not just be tipped on its back. This roach would suffer a horrible fate.

 

Or so Chuck thought as he clenched his hands around the pipe and squeezed up against the wall.

 

He saw the red glow of the robotic bug's eyes. The razor-sharp wings were spread out, the tips screeched against the sides of the air duct.

 

It paused, head swinging back and forth. It sensed him there, but didn't know quite what to make of him. He knew it had heat sensors... and he did emit heat, but not in the same way as a flesh and blood creature.

 

He lunged at the confused robot, whacking it good and hard across the head. It squealed and backed up, laser-rifle-antennas swiveling to and fro. It was trying to get him in its sights! He swung the pipe like a baseball bat, slamming into one of the rifles. It broke off and spun down the tunnel.

 

The roach spun to the side. The razor-wing swung out, gashing Chuck across the stomach. He fell backwards into the wall.

 

'Sometimes its good to be a robot.' He thought. At least his guts weren't spilled all over the floor. As it was, there was a long cut across his light blue stomach, exposing the silver steel underneath.

 

"Stupid bug!" He belted it hard with the pipe. The wing splintered and fell to the floor in fragments. He smirked.

 

The roach whirled on its clawed feet. He swung the pipe. Shockwaves went up his arms as the pipe contacted firmly with the beast's head. It started to tip. He slammed it as hard as he could with his shoulder.

 

It fell onto its back, legs kicking. He noticed a control panel on the belly.

 

'Robotnik is so stupid. He makes everything so easy!'

 

He reached for a button that conveniently read 'off' but a good kick from one of the roach's legs sent him flying.

 

'Youch. That wasn't very nice.'

 

He reached for it again, this time ducking one of the legs, only to get nailed by another.

 

'Ok, now, sonny, yer asking for it!'

 

He picked up his pipe and attempted to break the legs. But they were much stronger than the flimsy laser rifles and wings.

 

He gave up on that, and lunged for the belly again. He caught one of the flailing legs, fighting to keep it from striking him. Another leg swept his feet out from under him. This however, turned out to be his advantage. The legs could not bend towards him while he was low to the tunnel floor. He simply reached up and quickly hit the button.

 

The eyes dimmed and the legs hung limp.

 

"Whew! Stupid bug!"

 

He kicked it for an extra measure.

 

Then he crouched and examined the robotic beast more closely.

 

"Hmmmm, what's this?" He pressed a button on the belly and watched as the control panel slid open. "Aha! Can I control it from the inside?"

 

He climbed into the robot, and closed the hatch. It was quite a snug fit. He found no controls inside. Instead, he hacked away at the wall until he could reach inside the head of the beast. As he suspected, the controls were inside. He fit both his arms inside, finding wires and buttons. After trial and error (and slamming into the walls several times), he finally was able to move the bug down the tunnel.

 

"One gun left. That should be enough."

 

The lab awaited.

 

 

 

 

"Chuck, ole boy, you are truly something. Amazing. Wonderful."

 

He chuckled to himself as he approached the ventilation shaft that looked into the elusive lab.

 

He peered in.

 

And his mouth dropped open.

 

There was nothing at all in the lab. Well, nothing that wasn't normally there. The lab workers milled around, installing modification chips into old SWATbots. He frowned.

 

There was no growth tube. No spectacular top-secret projects. Could this be the wrong lab?

 

"After all that work, nothing!? I can't believe this!" He hissed under his breath.

 

He looked around, noting the surveillance cameras studding the ventilation entrance. Yep, this was the right lab.

 

'Maybe whatever was in here is finished and Robotnik is about to use it against us!'

 

Slightly irritated, Chuck headed back towards his hideout to get the word out to the Freedom Fighters.

 

 

**

 

"GAAA!" Sonic put his fists up as a large metallic bug entered his uncle's hideout. He'd been spinning around on Chuck's wheeled chair, waiting for him to arrive.

 

"Sonic...it's me," the bug said in a garbled voice.

 

"Who?"

 

"Uncle Chuck!"

 

"Ahhhh."

 

Sonic relaxed in the chair as the bug sat still on the floor. There was some banging noises and finally a hatch on the bottom flew open.

 

"Whew! That darn trapdoor was stuck!"

 

"Is that one of the 'roaches'?"

 

"Yessir, yes indeed.  It's mine now." Uncle Chuck laughed. "Dern thing was hard to 'kill'. Guess they modeled it after a real roach. Anyway, I managed to get down to that laboratory."

 

Sonic's eyes lit up. "And?"

 

"And...I found out nothing." Chuck looked downtrodden. "After all the attempts I made to get there...I get there and it's too late. Whatever they were working on is probably ready to go."

 

"Hmmmm. Well, we'll be careful," said Sonic, then smiled at the look his uncle gave him. "I know, I know, careful is usually Sally's department...but really! I'll be careful too, I promise. Ya know whatever Robotnik comes up with is no match for me...er, I mean us."

 

"I hope you're right."

 

"I am! It's probably so lame-o. Robotnik's 'biggest' ideas always are!"

 

Uncle Chuck smiled. "Sonic, if there's just one thing I'd admire about you...it would be your complete optimism about everything."

 

"Don't worry, be happy, that's all there is to it."

 

**

 

*Crunch*

                      

Korbin's clawed feet stepped upon a random piece of scrap metal as he walked through the streets of Robotropolis. Behind him, he could hear the crunching sound again as Lydia stepped upon the same scrap.

 

"Hey Lydia, wasn't breakfast good this morning? I really liked that coffee stuff. And that 'bacon'? UMMMM, was that good."

 

Lydia scowled.

 

"My darling Snivvy taught me some more math today, Lydia. I got all the problems right! He was very impressed!"

 

"You sound like you love him or something," Lydia grumbled.

 

Korbin turned and walked backwards so he could grin at her. "I do!"

 

Lydia stuck out her tongue. "Quit blabbing and watch out for those Freedom Fighters."

 

"Ok."

 

For a few minutes, they cruised around the city in silence.

 

"Hey Lydia, didya see that game Packbell was playing? It was real cool. You were like this guy, and you run around and shoot stuff! And they like, explode in this big cloud of blood! It's awesome! It's---"

 

"SHUT UP!" Lydia launched herself at Korbin and smacked him across the face. "With all your jammering, we'll never sneak up on any rebels!"

 

"OW!"

 

"Shut it!" She stomped on his foot. He howled and began hopping on one foot, only to end up crashing into a nearby dumpster.

 

She sighed heavily. "You're a moron. How'd I get stuck with such a moron?"

 

"That's no way to talk about your brother!"

 

"You're not really my brother," Lydia scoffed.

 

Korbin pouted. "You're mean!"

 

"I'm supposed to be mean! But you...yer a little pushover! Whatta wimp!"

 

"I am not!" Korbin puffed out his chest and flexed a muscular bicep.

 

"Ok, you're not. You're just brainless."

 

Korbin shrugged. "Sure Lydia, I don't see you solving any calculus problems."

 

"I have more important things to do then play around with silly numbers. Like catching those Freedom Fighters! So shut up!"

 

**

 

"Well," said Packbell to Robotnik in the command center, "What shall we have the dragonmen do with the Freedom Fighters?"

 

Robotnik grinned. "What are our options?"

 

"They all sound so tasty, sir, I'll have to leave the decision up to you. But we can..." He threw his hands out with gleeful flourish. "...Have the dragonmen kill them. Rip them limb from limb. Lift them high above the ground, drop them and watch them get dashed to pieces..."

 

Robotnik licked his lips.

 

"We can have them capture them so we can roboticize them at will. If we capture but one or two, we can set an ambush for any rescuers. We can have the dragonmen be stealthy and follow the beasts back to Knothole...where we either kill or capture!"

 

"Or both." Robotnik grinned wider. "Why not combine all the ideas into one? Kill the nonimportant ones, let one go, follow it back to Knothole... capture the lot of them, roboticize the captives, ambush any who attempt a futile rescue!"

 

They both laughed like nothing was funnier in the world.

 

"But of course, the hedgehog must be roboticized," said Robotnik.

 

"Oh yes, of course," said Packbell, his tone just shy of being sarcastic. As it was, he couldn't refrain from rolling his eyes. "It wouldn't be one of your glorious plans if it didn't have the hedgehog getting roboticized."

 

"You're criticizing me, aren't you?"

 

Packbell giggled. "No way, no how, sir!"

 

"You'd better not be," Robotnik grumbled.

 

 

"Ya know," said Packbell after a few moments, "I was wrong. The female is way better."

 

"If it hadn't been for that homosexual tape, the male wouldn't of turned out soft."

 

"Hey now, nothing's wrong with him. He's tough and all. I mean, being gay doesn't mean you're a wimp." Packbell scowled. "Besides, that wasn't my tape. It was Snively's!"

 

Snively, who'd been snoozing over in his chair, opened one eye and gave Packbell an evil glare. "Shut the hell up, Packbell."

 

Packbell sniffed like offended, while Robotnik growled.

 

"I've told you not to sleep on the job, Snively. And what do you do? You sleep on the job!! There will be a horrendous and not-so-nice punishment if you do that again!"

 

"Very sorry sir," his nephew whined, rubbing his eyes. "But I can't sleep at night anymore. I keep hearing those roaches skittering in the walls... it gives me nightmares." He shuddered.

 

Packbell raised an eyebrow. "I never knew we had such a bug problem!"

 

***

 

"Hey look!" hissed Korbin, as he caught sight of a blue hedgehog strolling through the junk piles.

 

"One of the rebels!" Lydia's eyes narrowed and her blood boiled with hatred. "Come on!"

 

She snuck after the blue blur, with Korbin trailing behind.

 

But the hedgehog must've sensed them, for he took off at a speed they could not match, and was out of sight immediately.

 

"Crap!" snarled Lydia, teeth gnashing. "I wanted to tear that oversized head off his body! Rip off his arms! Tear out his spleen!"

 

"Whoa whoa! Isn't that a little drastic?"

 

She poked him in the chest. "You don't have enough bloodlust. You have to want the kill. You have to *need* the kill."

 

"I do...I just don't act like a freak about it."

 

**

 

Upon the Robotroplian streets, two shadows were cast. One appeared to be disproportioned; one arm was bigger than the other. The other appeared to be frightened, constantly ducking its head and shaking.

 

"Aww, calm down sugah-Ant, nothin's gonna happen."

 

"What are we being doing again?"

 

Bunnie smiled and leaned up against a dumpster. "Ah am gettin' modification chips for ole 'Princess ARC'. So we'll have cool thangs like stealth mode. Ya'll are gonna go get some weapons. Then ya'll gonna meet meh back here an we're gonna go get some fuel."

 

"Ohh, I am not liking theese idea," whispered Antoine, watching in dismay as Bunnie grinned and walked off. On shaky tiptoes, he snuck around the side of the dumpster and out into the streets of the city.

 

By some strange twist of luck, Antoine managed not to be seen by any denizen of Robotropolis. He even made it to the weapons factory without tripping over his feet.

 

He sighed as he peered at the entrance to the factory, feeling the sweat trickle down his brow.

 

However, Antoine preformed another miracle by making it into the factory. Nervously, he snatched a few laser rifles and shoved them into the bag he was carrying. He screamed as one caught on the edge of the bag and fired. Scared silly, he raced from the factory, expecting any minute to hear "Priority one: Freedom Fighter!"

 

Antoine did not hear the SWATbots, but still he ran, turned a corner full speed and *BAM!* He slammed into something hard and something he was sure was NOT a wall.

 

He fell backwards, gasping for breath. His eyes widened at the sight before him, traveling from large clawed feet, up to a broad chest and a grinning lizard-y face.

 

"Heeey, who are you?" rasped the lizard, raising an eyebrow. "You're cute!"

 

"Whaaaat?" Antoine exclaimed. He was quite sure the beast in front of him was male.

 

"I said, what's your name, handsome?" The big lizard leaned against the wall, lazily spreading a large wing.

 

'He looks like Dulcy, but ees shaped more like me! A dragon-man?'

 

Panic followed this realization, and Antoine leapt to his feet and fled.

 

"Hey! Where you going?! Come back, I just wanna talk!" Korbin pouted and stamped his foot as he watched the foxy fox flee.

 

 

Antoine raced into a derelict part of town. This was once a busy street. Old lampposts lined the broken sidewalks. Weeds covered the ground.

 

He slowed down a little after glancing behind him. The dragonman was nowhere in sight. Antoine breathed a sigh of relief.

 

The sigh soon turned to a shriek as the dragon suddenly appeared before him. He landed lightly for such a bulky creature, folding his leathery wings behind him.

 

Antoine fumbled in the bag, drawing one of the laser rifles. Korbin ducked as a shot went wild past him.

 

"Hey now, little boys oughtn't play with guns... it's danger---"

 

The shot hit an old lamppost. It teetered and then fell directly onto Korbin, smashing him into the ground.

 

He groaned and got up after a moment. The fox, not surprisingly, was gone. Korbin rubbed his head. "Ooh baby, he said, thoughts on the fox, "that hurt so good!"

 

 

In the command room, Snively winced. Spy Eye surveillance had shown them Korbin's wonderful performance.

 

"That," he said, trying his best not to look at his uncle, "was really stupid." He glanced over at Packbell instead. "But I guess you can't expect much, considering who trained him."

 

Packbell calmly eyed Snively, reaching into his pocket.

 

"What, more photos of Ludmilla and I?" sneered Snively.

 

"No," said Packbell, withdrawing his hand. "Something much worse."

 

Snively's eyes widened as Packbell revealed the object. "Not that!"

 

"Yes," growled Packbell, drawing Snively to him with one arm. "And if you don't shut that noisy trap of yours, I'll shove this down your throat."

 

 

There was not a peep from Snively from a long time, even long after Packbell had pocketed the dreaded banana and bologna sandwich.

 

**

 

Bunnie observed the microchip factory from her hiding place behind a crate. Workerbots produced the chips which contained information to modify the computer-operated systems of the city. Which was everything, to say the least.

This included robots, computers, vehicles, and even things like prison cell locking mechanisms and automatic doors.

 

The 'bots produced the chips, dropped them onto a conveyer belt, which then dropped the chips into a large bin. As each chip fell into the bin, it was counted by a small device attached above the bin.

 

The conveyor belts stretched across the factory, and each belt was for a separate sort of chip, at least, she thought so.

 

She was looking for chips that would allow their lovely 'Princess ARC' to have stealth mode, night vision, automatic weapon tracking, and heat sensors. And whatever other fun things she could find.

 

She was sure she would need several different chips. They all had their function printed in very teeny fine print on the chip, but she couldn't just stand there and read them. There were a few SWATbots guarding the factory, and they would surely see her if she just stood around.

 

She decided to sneak along and take chips off each conveyer belt. She could read them later.

 

'Whatevea Ah get, Ah get, and Ah'm shore we can use whateva Ah get for somethan!'

 

She did so. Creeping along the conveyer belts on hands and knees, she reached stealthily up and grabbed the chips. The workerbots made no indication she was there; the SWATbots were oblivious.

 

 

 

Pollux sighed, tucking his clipboard under his arm.

 

'Sometimes, I really really hate this job.'

 

But at least he hadn't been hassled by anyone, namely Snively, for a while. In fact, the small bald commander had been rather civil to him lately. Pollux didn't know whether that was a good or bad sign.

 

He stepped from his office and strolled into one of the microchip factories. Aside from maintaining the energy outputs in the power stations, he also observed other things like SWATbot production.

 

It was a pretty boring job.

 

Now, he had to tackle his task of writing down the hourly outputs of products. There were about 20 factories that produced products, and each factory had 15 conveyer belts... so by the time he finished, he usually had to start all over again.

 

'This job sucks.'

 

But at least he only had do this particular job on Wednesdays. That made it somewhat bearable.

 

The first conveyer built, producer of night vision chips for robots, had made 502 chips this past hour. He sighed a little as he wrote down the figure. Last hour it had made 510. Robotnik was not pleased with any fluctuations, no matter how small.

 

 

As he cruised the factory, he was astonished to see a yellow-furred hand reach up from behind a conveyer belt. It snatched a handful of chips and disappeared.

 

"HEY!" He yelled, running over. "Come out!"

 

There was a scrabbling sound, then a girl stood up. His eyes went wide and he practically drooled as he stared at her. What a lovely specimen! Sunny yellow fur, green eyes and a purple jumpsuit! Ears like scraps of velvet!

 

"Wow!" he gaped, then was knocked flying as she leapt the conveyer belt and shoved him aside.

 

He sat dazed on the floor, goo-goo eyes fixed on the girl. What a cute fluffy tail!

 

He was almost sorry to order security after her. As they gave chase, he picked up his clipboard and went to his office to contact the command center.

 

**

 

Snively was slumped in his chair, eyes closed. He was awakened by someone talking over his headset. Irritated, he tried to ignore it.

 

"Hello?! Command Center? Come in. We had an intruder in Factory C. Come in. Hello?"

 

"Oh, Pollux, what is it?" a voice finally snapped.

 

"Commander? Yes, we had an intrud-"

 

"The hedgehog?"

 

"No."

 

"Then don't bother me!" Snively nearly screamed.

 

"It was a very beautiful rabbit." Pollux's voice was dreamy, speaking volumes of what he wished to do with that beautiful rabbit

 

"Oh, please Pollux, you don't have a chance."

 

"Why not?"

 

"I wonder. Maybe because to her, you're a 'big bad guy'?"

 

"I'm not bad at all! I'm handsome, I'm kind, and I'd pay for dinner!"

 

"Pollux...have you forgotten....there aren't any restaurants left on Mobius!"

 

"Oh yeah." The porcupine frowned. "I did forget that...hmmmm, well. We can always skip dinner, and head straight to the dessert, if you get my drift..."

 

There was snickereing, and then the link went dead.

 

Pollux didn't care. He was much too busy drooling to notice.

 

**

 

 

Snively activated the COM link to Lydia's earpiece.

 

"Lydia, come in."

 

"Yeah, what the hell do you want?"

 

"There's an intruder."

 

"Where, Needlenose? I can't read fricken' minds!"

 

"Bitch," he muttered, then in a cheery voice responded, "It takes a mind to read a mind, doesn't it now?"

 

"You know where you can shove it, baldy."

 

He had an unpleasant thought of Ludmilla, which he quickly discarded to the filthy part of his mind.

 

'I'll have to do some spring cleaning there sometime.'

 

"She should be somewhere in the vicinity of factories C through H."

 

"Alright." He heard the flapping of the dragon-femme's wings. "I'm on it. Lydia out."

 

**

 

Bunnie chuckled as she ran from the factories. She'd lost the SWATs easily. Now to meet back with Antoine... 'Ah hope HE didn't get captured!' She frowned a little, because it wouldn't surprise her if he had. He could be such a dufus sometimes...

 

She turned a corner and immediately ducked into an alley. Scrunching herself behind a dumpster, she peered out as a large dragon-girl stamped by.

 

'NAW! That couldn't of been... a dragon?'

 

She crept to the edge of the alley and peeped out. From the back, the beast definitely looked like a dragon, but a humanoid dragon, built more like Bunnie herself than Dulcy.

 

'Ah've never seen such a thing! Ah wonder...if this is Robuttnik's big project?'

 

She shook her head as she leaned against the wall, waiting. Finally, the dragon was out of sight. She left the alley cautiously, but before she'd taken a step, she was snatched clear off the ground!

 

"AHHHHH!"

 

"Little rabbit thought she could hide, eh? Didn't think I saw you? You sure were wrong, Freedom Fighter!"

 

Bunnie twisted her head upwards to see the dragon grinning down at her, eyes evil and malicious.

 

"Now what should I do? Kill you or bring you to Robotnik? Or maybe... I could make some nice rabbit stew!"

 

"Ah don't think so!" Bunnie extended her telescoping legs. She felt the ground under her feet. Then, with her robotic arm, she flipped the dragon clear over her shoulder, sending the reptile smashing into the side of a building.

 

Her legs went down smoothly. When she reached her normal height, Bunnie raced away as fast as her metal feet could carry her.

 

Lydia groaned.

 

**

 

"WHOO! Lydia go!" Go girl!" Packbell was cheering. Even Snively looked enthused.

 

That was until they saw Lydia slam into the building with teeth-shattering force and the small cyborg bunnie escape.

 

"Oh, she's better than Korbin, huh, Packbell? Yes, wonderful, simply wonderful performance there."

 

"Shut up, Snively. It's a minor setback, and stuff."

 

"Ha! And you thought she was so great!"

 

"Vhat girl is so great? ME?"

 

Snively spun in his chair, terror on his face. Ludmilla stood in the command center doorway with a large plate of cupcakes.

 

"Yum, look who's here," said Packbell.

 

Robotnik raised an annoyed eyebrow. "What are you doing in here? Go back to your station at once!"

 

She grinned cheerfully. "Ve are on our last box of modification chips, m'lord! The old SVATbots are almost upgraded. I am very glad that the new SVATbots are being assembled vith the new chips."

 

"Well, of course," said Robotnik. "Only the old models needed upgrading."

 

"Ve are almost finished!"

 

"That's all very nice and dandy." Robotnik eyed the cupcakes. They had thick chocolate frosting and were topped with maraschino cherries. "Those look enticing. May I have one?"

 

"Yes, m'lord, that's vhy I brought them!"

 

He oohed and ahhed after finishing the dessert. "Yes, very very good." He licked the frosting off his fingers, then reached for another. Ludmilla beamed with happiness.

 

She brought the plate to Packbell and Snively.

 

"Nah," said Packbell.

 

"Yes, thank you." Snively smiled nervously at her as he took one.

 

"Don't forget to eat the cherry," whispered Packbell, turning back to the surveillance monitor.

 

Ludmilla grinned.

 

Snively took the cherry off the cupcake and threw it at Packbell, snickering as it disappeared into the android's mop of hair.

 

Then he looked at the monitor. Lydia had extracted herself from the wall and was now stalking down the street.

 

**

 

Bunnie approached the meeting place, but saw no sign of Antoine. Instead, she saw another dragon, definitely a male one this time. He appeared to be looking for something, for he didn't notice her.

 

She ducked behind one of the numerous dumpsters and eyed the scene.

 

The dragon was picking up scraps of metal, peering under them. "Yoohoo! Pretty boy! Where are you?"

 

Bunnie's eyes widened as she saw Antoine. He was wedged into a narrow space between a dumpster and a large sheet of metal.

 

'Crap! Any second that thing is gonna find him!'

 

Quietly, she slid off her backpack, rummaging among the chips she'd swiped until she found her flare gun.

 

 

The flare arched over the buildings, exploding a few streets away. The dragonman jumped and whirled, then raced away towards the sound.

 

She smiled in satisfaction and stepped from her hiding place. "Antoine! Come on!"

 

He tumbled out, panting and gasping for breath. "Oh, mon chere! Thank you, thank you so much!" He made a large show of kissing her hand.

 

"Quit slobberin' on me and let's get outta here!"

 

"But we do not have any fuel!"

 

"Ah well! Ah ain't stickin' around here no more!"

 

He nodded. "I am having to agree."

 

 

 

They had nearly reached the edge of the forest, when they heard the swoop of wings.

 

Antoine whirled and screamed, pointing his finger at the diving dragon. Bunnie leapt to pull him out of the way, but it was too late.

 

The male dragon ascended high beyond her reach, with Antoine in his grasp.

 

"NO! ANTOINE!"

 

"BUNNNNNNIIIIEEEHELPME!" He screamed.

 

"LET HIM GO!"

 

The dragon ignored her, speeding back to the city.

 

She looked around helplessly. Nothing she could do. Nothing.

 

"Ah need help."

 

She raced towards Knothole.

 

**

 

Packbell was scratching his hair, looking annoyed. Snively grinned as the android frowned, pulling at what appeared to be a large tangle.

 

"Yuck! What is this?"

 

Ludmilla laughed.

 

Packbell scowled. "Yeah, what's so funny?"

 

"Do you have lice?"

 

"NO!"

 

"No, he has cherries," said Snively, laughing.

 

"Oh no," said Packbell, tugging at the tangle with all his might, tearing out a large chunk of hair. It revealed itself to be a very sticky cherry. "You fucking bastard." He said to Snively.

 

Ludmilla covered her mouth, trying very hard not to laugh.

 

Packbell felt around the hair where the tangle had been and was shocked to discover there was no hair! He now had a small bald patch on the side of his head.

 

"AHHHHHHHH!"

 

He would've throttled the small commander, but the lunch bell was close to ringing, and he needed to sneak away before anyone could see him and laugh. He was sure to have some hair-fixing products in his bedroom.

 

"You'll have to take a raincheck on your beating," he said through clenched teeth.

 

Ludmilla watched him leave, then looked up at the clock. "It's almost lunchtime," she observed.

 

She glanced slyly over at Snively. "Vould you like to eat vith me?"

 

"No," he immediately said.

 

"Vhy not? Is there some problem vith Ludmilla?"

 

"Well...no...but... I have to keep track of surveillance."

 

She pouted. "Oh, you aren't going to miss much."

 

Snively looked at Robotnik, eyes practically begging his uncle to save him. But Robotnik, malicious, or maybe clueless, shrugged.

 

"I can watch it for a while."

 

Ludmilla grinned in delight. "So you can go?"

 

Snively's eyes were wide as he stared at his uncle. "No... I still have other things to do."

 

"Do them after lunch, you need some food in your tummy." She grasped his hand and pouted.

 

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, fine."

 

They reached the café, but Ludmilla seemed reluctant to enter. "I vanted to have lunch someplace more private."

 

"Oh no."

 

"It vill be more romantic than this dump."

 

He shook a little and almost told her off, almost told her that he really was not interested in her. But her face was so jolly and cheerful that he held his tongue.

 

So off they went to her bedroom, where he searched for Packbell's hidden camera and disconnected it.

 

"Vhat is that?" asked Ludmilla, already setting the table. She had a small fridge in one corner and it was packed with an incredible amount of food.

 

"It's nothing," he said, tossing it into her trashcan, the one with the pink ruffle around it.

 

The slow steady beat of sensual music went up through the soles of his feet. He turned around, staring at Ludmilla as she turned the volume up on her miniature stereo.

 

"What are you playing?"

 

She looked at the music disc case. "It's called 'Sensual Songs for Sensual Lovemaking."

 

"Oh...ummm. That's great."

 

"It is! I love dancing to it." With that, she began to sway around the room, while he stood around rather uncomfortably.

 

"It's hot in here," she said, unbuttoning her labcoat. His mouth dropped open a little. Underneath her labcoat, she wore a short, tight dress. It was low-cut and a dark mauve color. The material was thin, and nearly every detail was accentuated.

 

"You were wearing that all day?" He was astonished.

 

"Oh yes!" She took his hand and laid it upon her stomach. For one scary second he thought she was going to say "I'm pregnant!" He hadn't been that drunk the last time... had he?

 

"I love the feeling of silk on my fur," she purred, rubbing his hand across the dress.

 

He grimaced. "Shouldn't you...uh...be getting lunch together?"

 

"Oh, you are alvays so tense!" She rubbed his shoulders with her plump hands.

 

He flinched as he felt her breath on his ear, then jumped as he felt her teeth. "Ludmilla!"

 

She stood up, laughing merrily. "Oh, this song alvays makes me vant to nibble ears!"

 

"Eh!" He scowled, because the music, with its whining saxophones and horns sounded like a bunch of mewling cats. 'In heat, at that,' he thought, sticking his tongue out. No wonder she liked this damned stuff...

 

She leaned her head towards him. "Vould you like to nibble mine?"

 

He pushed her away with a frown. "Ludmilla... you are seriously disturbed."

 

 

**

 

Rotor was a bit disappointed as he saw Bunnie approach his workshop. It seemed she had no fuel.

 

"Where's the gas?" he questioned.

 

"Antoine's captured."

 

"WHAT? Good job keeping an eye on him!"

 

"Look, there's no time to explain. Do ya have fuel fer this or not?"

 

"I could take the fuel outta the 'Winged Victory'...but there's not much left. Why don't you just take the plane..."

 

"No," she said firmly. "Ah think we'll be needin' this thang more."

 

"But there's only enough fuel-"

 

"Rotah, just do it! An' hurry!" She ran off, leaving him bewildered.

 

It took him a few minutes to siphon fuel from the airplane, and Tails was none too pleased when he saw Rotor doing so.

 

"But that's my airplane! What if I wanna fly it?"

 

"Bunnie needs the new aircraft, I guess to rescue Ant... I told her there's not much fuel, only enough for probably an hour, less probably."

 

"That's hardly nothing!" Tails exclaimed. "She'll run out!"

 

Rotor shrugged. "I ain't arguin' with her."

 

He took the fuel and poured it into the new aircraft. By that time, Bunnie had returned with Sally and Sonic, who both seemed clueless to what was going on.

 

Sally took the aircraft controls nervously. "I don't know if I can handle this thing."

 

"Shore you can," said Bunnie, but Rotor went over the controls with her anyway. Sonic asked Bunnie what was happening, but she didn't reply, merely tapped her foot impatiently. The harsh clang of metal upon metal told Rotor to shut up.

 

Sally got the craft successfully off the ground and grinned. "Ok. I got it. This is a piece of cake."

 

Rotor pouted. There was no one to cheer and see his handiwork in action. They'd planned a celebration later that evening, when the first official flight was supposed to take place. He only had time now to shout a brief warning about their fuel situation, and then they were gone.

 

Tails patted Rotor on the back. "Don't worry, I saw it work. It was cool."

 

Dryly, Rotor said, "Yay."

 

**

 

"You're telling me Robotnik's big project was these two 'dragon-people'?"

 

"Exactly, Sally-girl...watch out fer that tree!"

 

Sally pulled up right in time. Sonic covered his eyes.

 

"Geez, Sal! Get us all killed!" He turned to Bunnie, peering at her through his fingers. "What do they look like?"

 

"Like us, sorta, but taller an' bigger an' they're dragons! They got wings, which is why Ah thought we might need this thang."

 

"Didya see 'em fly?"

 

"Yeah! That's how they got Ant! The guy dragon just swooped down from the sky an' nabbed him!"

 

"Mondo uncool."

 

"Yeah, ya said it. Now, let's go faster!"

 

"And not hit any trees," Sonic threw in.

 

Sally snickered. "I'll hit you if you don't quit making fun of my driving!"

 

Sonic laughed, but then screamed, "WATCH OUTTTTT!"

 

**

 

It was strange the people grace seemed to touch. For a large woman, Ludmilla was as graceful as a swan. She floated and twirled around the floor, keeping perfect time to the music.

 

Snively sat in one of the chairs, trying to avoid looking at her. He stared at the food instead, and felt his mouth watering. He was a bit concerned, for whenever he stole a glance at her, the way her breasts bounced made him feel rather strange inside.

 

'And really, I don't truly feel *that way* about her!' He didn't need to convince himself of this, because he felt it in every fiber of his body.

 

Ludmilla shook her rump in his direction and he looked away, cheeks aflame. "Ludmilla, aren't you getting hungry?"

 

"Oh yes," she cooed, voice thick with innuendo. "I'm very hungry."

 

"Well, why don't we eat then?"

 

She swayed close to him, putting her hand on his knee, which made him nervous. "All right, let's eat," she whispered, moving her hand up...up...up his leg... He jumped up, stumbling over the chair.

 

"Ludmilla! Will you...quit it!"

 

She helped him up, making sure he fell forward into her large bosom. He found his face buried between her cleavage, and pulled away. He tried to free himself from her grasp, but her hands were like vices, clamped hard upon his.

 

"Dance vith me, then ve shall eat."

 

"I'd rather not...whoa!" She swept him off his feet, twirling him around the room. His legs fumbled but he didn't fall. She held him up, pressed close to her, as she dragged him along with her.

 

"Ludmilla, please! You're making me dizzy!"

 

"That's not all I'll make you!" She grinned, and he wondered if that was a promise or a threat.

 

'Well, it's both when it comes to her!'

 

"I can make you many things." Her voice was a throaty purr, her finger soft as she laid it upon his lips. It was somehow a very intimate gesture, one he found highly uncomfortable.

 

"Why don't we sit down and uh...eat. Before it gets cold."

 

"I think someone else is going cold," she pouted, but released him.

 

Inwardly, he breathed a sigh of relief. Outwardly, he dove upon the food. He was starving!

 

As they ate, Snively heard a loud skittering noise. He snapped his head up, eyes darting around the room. He met Ludmilla's puzzled gaze.

 

"Vhat vas that?"

 

"I don't know."

 

They both sat still for a moment, trying to pinpoint the noise. Ludmilla pointed towards the air vent, where a piece of metal stuck out through the grating.

 

"Vhat's that!?" she asked in alarm.

 

He thought it was another of Packbell's cameras. At closer glance, he recognized it as the tip of a roach's leg, a roach who appeared to be trying hard to free itself.

 

"Great invention, Castor." He rolled his eyes.

 

He shoved on the vent, then screeched as the entire grating came loose, crashing down on top of him.

 

"Oh poor Snivvy!" Ludmilla rushed to help him, then screeched as the roach whirled on her, stabbing at her with its legs.

 

"GAAA!" Snively barely avoided the roach's vicious attack as it swung his way. He leapt upon Ludmilla's table, spilling the wine, then throwing the empty bottle at the beast.

 

Ludmilla dove for cover, trying to hide behind the various pillows and teddy bears on her bed. One of the bears fell onto the floor, and suffered the horrible fate of being shredded by the roach.

 

Ludmilla sat up. "YOU DO NOT MESS VITH MY BEARS!" She threw her massive self upon the beast, pinning it to the floor. Snively stared at her in astonishment. The roach was completely immobile, and the outer shell had cracked under her weight.

 

"For Gods' sakes, Ludmilla, you're a lethal weapon."

 

"I know." Her face crinkled into a smile. "But it's still moving!"

 

 

He picked up a chair, the wine-soaked carpet squishing under his feet. He motioned for Ludmilla to move, then bashed the bug with the chair full-force. It lay motionless.

 

Ludmilla picked up the shredded bear. "My poor Pookie. He vill be remembered."

 

Snively kicked the roach, then stood scowling. "Stupid thing must've malfunctioned." He made a mental note to tease Castor about this. Then he cancelled it out. Castor would only ask what he was doing in Ludmilla's room AGAIN. He cringed at the memory of the lab laughing about Packbell's pictures. Horrid. Horrid indeed.

 

'But I'm only eating. Of course.' He sat back down.

 

After a tearful speech to the slain Pookie, Ludmilla joined him.

 

**

 

 

"Damn, damn, damn," cursed Lydia for no particular reason, other than she liked the word 'damn'. She was a bit irritated that she hadn't caught that rabbit, and she couldn't find that loser Korbin. But she wasn't irritated enough to curse about it. This cursing was just for fun.

 

'It would've been more fun if I'd caught that little bun-bun.' It would've been really fun to tear off her limbs and spin her around in circles. The thought made Lydia cackle with evil laughter. Then her face changed to an annoyed scowl as she saw a hovercraft approaching on the horizon.

 

It could've been one of Robotnik's. But she knew it wasn't. The SWATbots didn't drive so...drunkenly.

 

**

 

For once, Ludmilla was silent.

 

'Too busy filling her face', Snively thought, but really had no right to criticize, since he was doing the same. Besides, he liked her better when she was quiet.

 

The food had a wonderful taste to it. 'One good thing about that lady...she can cook.' He was looking forward to dessert, even if it did have cherries in it...

 

Ludmilla had replaced the broken wine bottle with a new one. He had no idea where she got them from. Probably made it.

 

An image of her rolling naked in a large tub of grapes flashed in his head. He gagged on the wine. He stumbled to his feet, coughing harshly. Ludmilla leapt up, slapping him across the back. The wine sprayed from his mouth, and he ended up tripping over the roach.

 

"Are you all right?"

 

"My back's broken," he groaned, then screamed as the roach lurched to life.

 

Ludmilla came in with a mighty kick. The roach flew across the room, skidding to a stop on its back.

 

Snively pounced upon the 'off' button, but after punching it several times, realized it wasn't doing anything.

 

"What is wrong with this thing?!" he yelled, hopping up and down angrily.

 

"Ooh, calm down." Ludmilla rubbed his shoulders. He ignored her as he examined the bug. It was harmless enough on its back, as long as the legs were avoided.

 

"Heeeeey, the control panel's been tampered with! Looks like someone pulled it off."

 

Ludmilla looked at him questioningly. "Vhat's that mean? Is someone playing a trick on us?"

 

"Hopefully no one knows I'm here," he muttered, then shrugged. "Don't know. Help me get the panel off."

 

With their four insistent hands, they managed to rip off the panel. They screamed in unison as something inside the bug moved, then Snively nudged Ludmilla.

 

"It's that blasted spy! What are you doing here?!" he pointed an accusing finger at the robotic hedgehog curled inside the roach.

 

"Escaping." The hedgehog replied smartly, scrabbling out from the bug and knocking Snively aside.

 

Ludmilla grabbed at him, but he avoided her easily. He reached the door, only to be knocked down by a hurtled chair. Snively tackled him, struggling to hold him down.

 

"Get off me, Snobley!" Uncle Chuck shoved the human away.

 

Snively retrieved the chair and bashed him with it. Uncle Chuck staggered against the wall. His optical sensors were jarred and he was blinded for a moment. He felt the impact of the chair and flailed out. He felt his fist connect with something and heard a yelp of pain.

 

Then he was thrown to the ground and pinned, and from the creaking of his body, he knew the fat lady was sitting on him.

 

'Darn pig!' he thought, even though normally he liked 'em with meat on their bones.

 

His optical sensors came back online in time for him to see Snively leaving the room with the comment of: "Hold him down...I'll get a SWAT to take him away."

 

**

 

Robotnik snored lightly in his chair. Packbell entered the command room. His bald spot was fixed.

 

'Krazy Glue works wonders, for sure," he thought. He looked at Snively's chair, thinking maybe Krazy Glue could also work for nasty jokes involving Snively's ass and that chair.

 

'I'll have to try that sometime.'

 

His nose then caught a rather odd, yet familiar smell, and he turned to see a multicolored dog siddle into the room.

 

Castor was chewing loudly. Packbell could see partially-munched food in his mouth.

 

"Oh YUM. What are you eating?"

 

"What do you think?" Castor held up one of his infamous sandwiches. Packbell made a face.

 

"Don't give me that...I know you're the one who stole my sandwich earlier!"

 

"Oh that," said Packbell offhandedly, "was just something to scare Needle Nose with."

 

"Yeah, where is he?"

 

"Date with Ludmilla."

 

"Iieee!" Castor mock-screamed. "Scary!"

 

Packbell laughed. Robotnik stirred and looked at Castor. "What are you doing here?"

 

"Lunchbreak sir...oooooh!" Castor caught sight of Ludmilla's plate of cupcakes. There were two left, but that was soon changed.

 

Robotnik scowled as Castor chewed noisily, brown cupcake mush coating his tongue.

 

"I order you to close your mouth."

 

Castor swallowed. "You want some of my sandwich?"

 

"No way," said Packbell, but Robotnik took it with a smile.

 

Castor was pleased. "I knew you'd come around, sir! Realized good food when you saw it...mffff!"

 

Robotnik squashed the sandwich into his face. Packbell laughed hysterically while Castor indignantly brushed off the mushed banana.

 

The COM link crackled and Lydia's voice blared over the speaker. "Hey, command center!"

 

Robotnik tapped into the link from his throne. "Yes, Lydia?"

 

"What does that bitch want?" Castor threw in.

 

"Shut up, dog breath. Dr. Robotnik, I've spotted a hovercraft headed towards the city."

 

"So?" Castor said. "There's hovercraft everywhere, you dumb whore."

 

"Shut up." Robotnik shoved Castor away.

 

"It's not one of ours."

 

Robotnik raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Well, I trust you'll handle it, right, my dear?"

 

They heard a low chuckle over the link, just barely audible over the static, then the vicious words of, "My pleasure, sir. My pleasure."

 

**

 

A pair of black boots stomped down a corridor of the city. The owner of the boots was annoyed, because there were no SWATs in sight.

 

He rounded the corner, nearly colliding with Korbin, who had a protesting Antoine slung over his shoulder.

 

"Oh hello, Snivvy!" Korbin bared his teeth in a grin.

 

"Well, congratulations, Korbin!" Snively smiled also, pleased to see Korbin had captured a Freedom Fighter, even a stupid one like the French fox.

 

"I know! I'm so excited!" The dragon jumped up and down, clapping his hands. Antoine groaned.

 

"But Korbin, where are you taking him? The cells aren't on this level."

 

"I'm taking him to my room!" Korbin winked deviously.

 

"No, no!" Snively was a little frightened. "No, Korbin, you...you don't take prisoners to your room. Where are you supposed to take them?"

 

The dragon's lower lip stuck out in a pout. "The holding cells, I know, I know...but he's just so...so goshdarned cute!"

 

"AHHHH! NO...MERCY PLEASE! LET ME GO!" The fox screamed and kicked.

 

Korbin looked amused.

 

Snively moaned and held his head. He was starting to get a headache. "I need you for a minute, then you can take him to the *cells*."

 

Korbin followed obediently. "Where we going?"

 

"Ludmilla's room to pick up another prisoner."

 

"Oh hey, cool. Are we gonna have a five-some? Cause that would be really awesome!"

 

Snively stopped, turning around slowly. Antoine whimpered. Korbin smiled.

 

"Korbin...lean over for a second."

 

"Ok."

 

Snively slapped Korbin across the face.

 

"OW! OW! That hurt!"

 

"GOOD!" The small human screeched. "YOU'RE SICK, KORBIN! SICK!"

 

Korbin burst into tears. "You...you don't like me anymore!" He dropped to his knees and began howling like a two-year old. "WAAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

Snively looked at Antoine.

 

"Please, someone shoot me now."

 

"Be giving me a gun, and I will!" the fox said.

 

**

 

Tails was bored. 'The grown-ups have all the fun,' he mused. They didn't seem to consider being chased by robots much fun, but hell, it was! He just loved dodging laser beams and bashed robot heads.

 

Rotor was too busy moping to even notice him.

 

'What a dork', Tails thought. 'It's not like we still can't have the celebration.'

 

Everyone else in the village wouldn't care he was gone.

 

In his troublemaking fashion, Tails decided to cruise to the city and help out.

 

**

 

Lydia picked up a rock in her clawed hands, then swooped upwards into the sky. She loved the feel of air currents under her wings, the sting of wind in her eyes.

 

'No wingless creature could ever know what this is like.' She looked in contempt at the approaching hovercraft. 'They can make all the imitations they please, but it'll never be the same.'

 

She hefted the rock in one hand. 'I'll make sure their cheap imitation does what it should...crash and burn!'

 

"Cruds! Lookit that!" Sonic pointed at the dark shape hurtling towards them. It swept close to the windshield and upward, revealing itself to be a dragon, and a mean-looking one at that.

 

Sally gulped a little. "I think I believe you, Bunnie."

 

A loud bang upon the roof made Sally duck in her seat. She yanked the stick backwards, sending them into a loop. They screamed. By the time Sally got control again, they saw the dragon approaching with another rock in her grasp.

 

"Is she gonna throw that at us?"

 

"Well, duh, Sonic." Sally turned the craft to avoid the rock flying their way.

 

The dragon slammed itself into their windshield, gripping the sides to glare in.

 

Her eyes were a pale icy blue, fringed with dark lashes. They reminded Sonic of someone else, but he couldn't quite place who. "She doesn't look friendly."

 

"Hello, Freedom Fighters." Her voice was muffled through the glass. "Ready to die?"

 

"Hey honey, Ah don't think Robotnik made ya all that great... Yer just as clichéd as his other inventions."

 

"Yeah, what does Robuttnik do, hand out the 'cheesiest bad guy lines' manual?"

 

"You'll die first, rabbit!" Lydia screamed, slamming her fists against the windshield. It rattled in its frame. "And then you, hedgehog!"

 

Sonic appeared to be thinking hard. "I've got an idea. Let's lose her."

 

"Good idea," said Sally. "Glad you thought of it, cause I was thinking of sitting here all day."

 

Lydia screamed and fell into empty air as the aircraft reversed, then dove down into the smog clouds of the city. She got her bearings, hovering in midair for a moment before spotting them.

 

Bunnie peered at the fuel gage. "Cripes, we're getting real low on fuel."

 

Sonic looked back at the enraged beast pursuing them. "Yeah, but I'm sure glad we used this and not the airplane! She would've grabbed us right outta that!"

 

"Yeah, but still, it looks like we're in deep..."

 

**

 

"Shit," swore Snively.

 

He was standing alone in the corridor. A sobbing Korbin had run off with Antoine in tow.

 

'Yes, I'm a meanie, and no, I don't love you," Snively thought, rolling his eyes.

 

Korbin was such a damn freak.

 

He head back towards Ludmilla's room, then paused outside the door.

 

"Oh yes, I think he's a very nice man."

 

"You're kidding. What do you see in him?"

 

"He's very cute and oh so huggable!"

 

"I don't see it."

 

"I think his eyes are very sexy, really, I think it's those eyes that just make me melt everytime!"

 

Ludmilla grinned as Snively entered the room, looking worried.

 

"See vhat I mean?" she asked Uncle Chuck. He grimaced. She was still sitting on him, sipping her wine.

 

"What are you talking about, Ludmilla?" The human snapped. "You shouldn't be talking to the prisoners."

 

"Ve vere just talking about you."

 

"And your sexy eyes," Uncle Chuck said.

 

"Shut up." Snively kicked him in the face.

 

"Vhere is the SVATbot?"

 

"Couldn't find any. Let's take him down ourselves."

 

"Ok."

 

Snively took the blanket off her bed, scattering her bears. She raised an eyebrow at him.

 

"I'll pick them up," he promised.

 

"Yes, but vait until ve're finished."

 

'Finished what?' he almost asked, then bit his tongue. 'No, Sniv...no. You don't want to hear her fantasies...'

 

"Ooh," said the robotic hedgehog. "Finished what?"

 

Ludmilla waggled her hips. "That's private."

 

Uncle Chuck chuckled. "I never knew you were such a Casanova, Needle Nose!"

 

Snively stuffed the end of the blanket into the hedgehog's mouth. While Chuck made muffled noises, they wrapped him up tightly.

 

Though he tried to fight, he was easy to transport to the cells.

 

**

 

They threw him into one of the cells, after ripping the blanket away. He spun like a top, then fell to the floor. As he lay dizzy on the floor, he heard the click as the cell locked, then Snively gloating, "Robotnik will be down to deal with you later!"

 

As the human and overweight fox strolled off, Chuck couldn't resist. "HAVE FUN, NEEDLENOSE! DON'T OVEREXERT YOURSELF!! AND JUST A HELPFUL TIP...I DON'T THINK SHE SHOULD BE ON TOP!"

 

"Forget Robotnik," Snively muttered, as they entered the elevator. "I'm going to come down later and kick his ass myself."

 

"It is a good tip," said Ludmilla. "Cause I'm such a big healthy woman." She rubbed her hands over her body in a sexy fashion. He inched away, pressing himself against the side of the elevator, then groaned as it took off, hurtling upwards into the building. His poor stomach was left behind.

 

Ludmilla didn't seem bothered by the elevator's motion. She leaned against the wall, smiling at him. Her arms were crossed over her chest, squeezing her cleavage into an even deeper line.

 

'It's the damn Grand Canyon', he thought, trying not to stare. 'You fall in there, and you never return...'

 

"It is good that ve captured him, right?"

 

"It's very good. Robotnik will be proud of both of us."

 

She swept him up into a tight hug. "*I'm* proud of you! You vere so brave!"

 

"Well, Ludmilla...you have to be brave to go on a date with you..."

 

**

 

In the command room, Robotnik was bored. He tapped into a COM link. "Lydia, what are you up to, my dear?"

 

"Dear, my ass," snorted Castor.

 

Robotnik looked at him in disgust.

 

The dog was holding up the cupcake plate, licking every crumb off. From the bottom edge of the dish, a thin stream of drool was dripping steadily onto the floor.

 

"STOP IT!" He yelled.

 

Castor dropped the plate in surprise.

 

"Stop what, sir?" Lydia's voice crackled over the link. "I'm in the middle of a chase!"

 

"Keep going, keep going!"

 

"Don't wet your pants, sir... I'm right on their butts. I gotta go!"

 

 

 

Bunnie glanced in the rearview mirror. "She's still there!"

 

"Well, crapadoodie."

 

Bunnie shook her head.

 

Sonic grinned at her. "Crapadoodiedo!"

 

"Will ya'll knock it off, Sonic...this is serious!"

 

"Nah. We can handle her."

 

"Maybe if we had more gas!"

 

"Just have Sonic eat some chilidogs. You'll get all the gas you need."

 

"Hey!" Sonic swatted Sally in the back of the head.

 

"It's true!" she cackled.

 

"You guys! This is serious!" Bunnie repeated. "We only got a few minutes of fuel left!"

 

"Ok, what are we gonna do?" Sally looked in the rearview mirror.

 

The dragon glided like a bullet behind them. Confidence gleamed off of every bared tooth. She knew she would catch them eventually.

 

"Any plans, people?" Sally laughed nervously. The fuel gage was starting to screech a warning.

 

"Welll..." said Sonic.

 

"Ummmmmmm." Bunnie stared into space.

 

"Hmmmmmm," hmmmed Sally.

 

"Ah've got one," Bunnie said. "We find someplace to hide ole 'ARC' here, an' then we land an' go git fuel."

 

Sonic shrugged. "Whatever. Beats crashing."

 

"Ok," said Sally. "We'll fly down there." She indicated the mass of cables and pipes Robotropolis Headquarters sat upon, like an egg stranded in a nest of snakes.

 

'Nest of snakes is right', she thought, as she maneuvered into the twisted coils.

 

After landing, they got out. Bunnie banged her head on a low-hanging cable.

 

"OW!"

 

"Ssssh." Sally put a finger to her mouth.

 

Bunnie rubbed her head, while Sonic looked around with an amused expression.

 

"Shut up, Sonic." The rabbit growled.

 

"I didn't say nothing!" He exclaimed.

 

"Quit, you two... Sonic you go get fuel. Me and Bunnie'll go get--"

 

"-the twerp."

 

Sally nodded. "Yes, the twerp!"

 

Bunnie elbowed both of them. "Don't ya'll talk about mah man like that!" Then she giggled. "But he is a twerp, ain't he?"

 

In unison, Sally and Sonic said, "YES!"

 

**

 

Against the tarnished metal of the scrap heaps, Tails stood out brightly. He eyed the city for a moment.

 

"This oughta be fun," he said aloud, for he liked talking aloud.

 

"Now, I gotta find them 'old' people and help 'em out. What would they do without me, I say, I don't know."

 

He dropped into a low crouch as SWATs trooped by, then skittered from pile to pile, making his way deeper into the heart of the city.

 

**

 

'How come this elevator ride is taking so LONG!' Snively was pressing himself up against the wall, but it didn't seem to help. Ludmilla took up most of the floorspace.

 

"Really," she trilled, looking over at him from under her eyelashes, a demure gaze, "You'd think you vere afraid of me!"

 

'You state the obvious well!' he wanted to scream, but of course, didn't. Instead, he crossed his arms across his chest and hunkered into the corner.

 

'Why are these elevators so small?' He griped inwardly. In reality, they were pretty big elevators. They had to cart Robotnik's big ass around, after all.

 

Ludmilla had a way of making any space, no matter how huge, seem claustrophobic.

 

'Maybe if she didn't practically breathe down your neck.'

 

Ludmilla smiled, as if she'd heard his thoughts, or maybe just the word 'neck' in particular.

 

She inched close to him, draping her arm around his shoulder. He squirmed uneasily.

 

'Go for it, go for it!' He heard the voice of one of the lab workers. He almost wished they were here. They'd stop this madness. Wouldn't they?

 

'Or just laugh and take pictures.'

 

'How rude. I wouldn't let them get mauled by this walking cupcake (eat the cherry!)...Ok, well, Packbell, I would. And Castor. The bastards.'

 

His tirade was distracted as Ludmilla's hand, dangling over his shoulder, seemed to get lower and lower until it was touching his belt.

 

Now he was nervous.

 

The hand dropped lower until it was definitely in the 'yell no and scream for help' zone.

 

Instead of a scream, he let out a sort of pathetic shriek and wrenched away. "LUDMILLA!"

 

She grinned, fluttering her eyelashes.

 

"No, no, big lady. That's not funny."

 

She laughed.

 

"No. Not funny is the opposite of funny."

 

She pouted, leaning against the wall. "You are no fun, Snivvvely!"

 

He took refuge in his corner. "I know."

 

"All Ludmilla vants is a little kiss."

 

"Sorry, but that's one thing Ludmilla isn't going to get."

 

Ludmilla sniffled.

 

He shook his head, eyes focused on the floor numbers as they changed, ever so slowly...

 

**

 

An alleyway of Robotropolis echoed with the sounds of sobbing and whimpering.

 

It was Korbin who was sobbing.

 

He stopped in the middle of the alley, depositing Antoine in the space between two dumpsters.

 

Antoine sighed and whimpered again. There was no way to escape! Not with that big lug blocking his path.

 

'Theese SUCKS!'

 

Taking a closer look at his captor, he lost most of his fear. 'What a baby!'

 

The dragon was sniffing and wiping tears with a huge hand that was attached to an equally huge arm. He could easily rip the thick metal dumpsters to shreds.

Antoine didn't know whether to be uneasy by the dragon's obvious mental problems, or glad that the beast wasn't ripping *him* to shreds!

 

"What ees being your problem?"

 

"My dear Snivvy doesn't like me anymore!" The dragon's clawed hand went to his chest. "Can't you hear my heart breaking?"

 

"Uh...non."

 

Korbin raised a finger to his nose, flicking away a string of snot. His oily eyes gazed at the fox wistfully, a look Antoine didn't particularly like. "I'm just so sad."

 

"You act like you are loving him!" Antoine put his hands on his hips. "Be pushing yourself together, these ees no way for a big dragon like you to act!"

 

Korbin sniffled again. "How should I act?"

 

"Tough!" Antoine flexed a bicep. Korbin oohed and ahhed over the tiny bump in Antoine's uniform, although it was really just made from the bunching up of fabric.

 

"I am tough, but not when my dearest doesn't return my love!"

 

Antoine stuck his tongue out. "You cannot be telling moi, that you love that fuel!"

 

"I do!" Korbin's black eyes grew as starry as a night sky. "But...I'm really starting to like you too...you're so strong! So...so...French!" He puckered his lips.

 

Antoine lost any pretense of being brave and screamed.

 

**

 

Bunnie stopped in her tracks. "Oh mah stars. Ah'd recognize that scream anywhere!"

 

"You mean that high-pitched very un-manly shriek?" asked Sally, her ears turning in the direction of the sound.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Antoine!" they said in unison.

 

**

 

"Whose the fox with two tails? Tails! Whose the fox whose gonna kick some ass? Tails!"

 

Tails couldn't help looking around, cause swearing was a no-no.

 

'Yeah right. That's why Sally and them say it! It's not so bad for them, I guess!'

 

He was skulking around the cellblock, avoiding the occasional guards with ease. But that was boring.

 

"Tails is gonna...gonna...gonna..."

 

He sprang out into the open hallway, fists up.

 

"...kick yo ass!"

 

His mouth twisted in disappointment. "Ahhhh, damn. No SWATheads."

 

An 'O' of surprise formed on his lips.

 

Uncle Chuck was sitting in one of the cells, and he gave Tails a wry grin.

 

"Oh, Uncle Chuck! How'd ya get here?" Tails covered his mouth, as if that would erase his oh-so-naughty language. But Uncle Chuck didn't seem concerned.

 

"Nice song."

 

"Uh, yeah." Tails blushed.

 

Uncle Chuck stood up. "So, are you going to let me out or what?"

 

"What."

 

"What?"

 

"Yeah!"

 

Chuck laughed, waiting patiently as Tails went to find the button that would let him out of this stinky cell. Being a robot didn't eliminate his sense of smell. If anything, it enhanced it.

 

'Honestly, did somebody die in here?'

 

He gulped as he saw what looked like a skeletal hand poking out from under the bed.

 

'All right...wrong question.' He gagged.

 

The door slid open and he stepped out.

 

Tails rejoined him. "Hey, I figured someone got caught, the way Sonic and them took off in Princess ARC. It was you, wasn't it?"

 

"Princess ARC?"

 

"Uh yeah, the new hovercraft-thingy."

 

"Oh, so it works, eh?"

 

"Yeah, it's awesome! Rotor's ticked, cause he thinks we can't have the 'first-flight' celebration tonight, but it's like...we can still, hardly no one even saw..."

 

He shut his mouth as they head the clanking footsteps of an approaching guard.

 

They took off down the hallway and out the very convenient ventilation shafts into the city.

 

Tails caught his breath as they rested behind a pile of scrap.

 

 

"They didn't know I was here," Chuck said.

 

"Who else could be captured?" Tails rolled his eyes, thinking of the obvious answer. "That's a toughie. Antoine maybe?"

 

Chuck shrugged. "You would've heard his mouth yellin' if he was down there."

 

"Yeah, that's true. They must be here for something else!"

 

"Let's find them then." Uncle Chuck sprang up...

 

..."Cause Big Chuck's gots to kick some ass!"

 

**

 

"Starving! Man, I'm starving! Could go for some more of that 'bacon', or whatever the hell Korbin called it."

 

Lydia snorted, pacing around the power factories.

 

A rat ran by and she stomped on it, then flipped it into the air with her toe claws. The tasty morsel landed neatly in her mouth.

 

"Needs salt," she grumbled, after thoroughly chewing and swallowing. She coughed, feeling some stray furs caught in the back of her throat.

 

She looked in the side of one of the buildings, using her reflection to make sure her horns and fleshy skinflaps on her face were in order.

 

She smiled and bared her teeth. Her claw flicked up, delicately dislodging some gray fur caught between her 'babies'. They had to be brushed and shined at least ten times a day.

 

Korbin was such a dirtball. Thought cleaning teeth was only a once a day affair.

 

"How nasty. Remind me never to kiss him." She stuck her tongue out at the thought.

 

A SWATbot standing guard nearby looked at her curiously. "Who-are-you-talking-to?"

 

"Myself."

 

"That's-crazy."

 

"Oh yeah?" She clenched a fist.

 

"Yes."

 

"Well, bolts-for-brains..."

 

"Correct."

 

"Correct what?" Lydia scooped up another rat and bit its head off. The SWAT made a series of disgusted beeps.

 

"You oughta try it sometime. Rat is right tasty." Lydia shook the disfigured rodent at the 'bot. It took a step back.

 

"No." The SWAT turned away, resuming its rigid guard stance. "I-must-guard. Go-talk-to-yourself."

 

She shrugged, downing the rest of the rat. "All right. I don't mind."

 

"Crazy."

 

Lydia turned back. Fur was once again caught between her teeth. She absentmindly picked it out. "Yeah...I am!"

 

The SWAT's eyes glowed red, then it blurted, "HEDGEHOG! PRIORITY-ONE!"

 

She whirled around. "Where? There!" Her blue eyes followed the blue streak. "Well, he's a nice color anyway. See ya, SWAT! HYA!"

 

She launched herself into the air, letting the wind drafts carry her.

 

"Well, damn. Where'd he go?" There was no sign of the oversized rodent.

 

"Ya know, though, hedgehogs aren't really rodents. Dr. Robotnik oughta know that...makes him look dumb to keep saying it. Speaking of stupid..."

 

"Where's that asswipe Korbin?"

 

**

 

Dragon lips were rubbery.

 

Dragon lips were slimy.

 

These particular dragon lips smelled like bacon.

 

"OHHHNOOO! MERCY!" Antoine screamed.

 

"Your welcome!" Korbin grinned.

 

"Non, not *merci*, mercy!"

 

"Oh."

 

Korbin backed away, folding his arms over his chest. His eyes followed a rat as it ran by, causing Antoine to shriek, then he looked back to the fox. "So you're saying you don't love me?"

 

"Non!"

 

"You...You're saying you're not attracted to me?"

 

"NON!"

 

Korbin smiled in delight. "Great, so you're NOT saying it!"

 

"Oui! I mean...non!"

 

"No, you ARE saying you don't love me?"

 

"Oui, I AM saying I am not loving you!"

 

Korbin looked down at the ground. "You don't love me...Snivvy doesn't love me..." He pounded his fists on a dumpster, bawling. "NO ONE LOVES ME! NO ONE LOVES MEEEEE!"

 

"Ya got that right, sugah!"

 

Antoine craned his neck around the dumpster, face nearly split in half by a grin. "Oh, mon chere! SAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEE!"

 

"Of course, Sugah 'Twan!" Bunnie leapt into the alley, metal feet stamping two holes into the ground. "Step aside, ya oversized lizard."

 

Korbin puffed out his chest, standing in front of Antoine. Bunnie's view of her trembling beau was blocked out by the immense pair of wings the dragon spread out. He looked very intimidating indeed.

 

"I don't think so! He's mine!"

 

"No, AH don't think so! You ain't takin' him to any cell!"

 

"Who said he's my *prisoner*?" The dragon smiled slowly, revealing pearly teeth.

 

"What else would he be?"

 

"My new significant other!"

 

"What?"

 

"WHAT?" Sally exclaimed as she entered the alley. "I thought you and Antoine would already be doing your after-rescue kiss."

 

"Sssh, Sally-girl. What did ya say?" Bunnie demanded of the dragon.

 

"He's my boyfriend."

 

"That boy is mine!" Bunnie's voice went uncertain. "Right, Honey-Ant?"

 

"Oh, oui, I am being your boy toy!"

 

"Ew." Sally tried to catch a glimpse of Antoine, but couldn't see past Korbin's wings. "Shouldn't we like...be rescuing him?"

 

"Oh yeah." Bunnie blinked. "Good idea."

 

She leapt up, kicking Korbin hard, knocking him aside. Antoine darted out from between the dumpsters, tripping over Korbin's tail. Bunnie snatched him before he hit the ground, then threw him over her shoulder.

 

"Oh merci, mon chere!" he panted as she ran.

 

She used her free hand to deliver a swift spank to his behind. "Yeah, ya just better not have been getting sweet with that ole dragon."

 

"OW!" he whined. "I was not being anything with him! You are my only love!"

 

"Of course," she chuckled, "I was just kidding."

 

Sally looked over, shaking her head. "I don't wanna know."

 

They headed for the aircraft, scuttling behind junk piles and leaping heaps of scrap.

 

"Mon chere?"

 

"Yeah?" Bunnie's foot landed hard upon a piece of metal. It shot out, skidding across the ground with a shower of sparks.

 

"Could you be spanking me again?"

 

**

 

Sonic zoomed around with his portable gas can in hand. It was big enough to carry in both arms. It held quite a bit of fuel. Enough to half-fill Princess ARC. Maybe more.

 

He hoped it was more.

 

'I don't wanna tangle with that lady dragon. She's mean!'

 

On the other hand, he wasn't worried about a confrontation. He could whoop her ass. He could whoop anybody's ass!

 

Including the two SWATbots who were running at him, trilling: "Hedgehog-Priority-One!"

 

"Hey boys!" Sonic stood still, waiting for them to reach him.

 

As usual, they grabbed for him, like they were expecting to catch him.

 

'Fat chance! Fatter than Robuttnik!'

 

At the last second, he darted away, laughing like a banshee. It never got old.

 

"Hold-still-rodent."

 

"So-we-may-bash-you."

 

Sonic stopped, tilting his head to the side. "And why...do you want to bash me?"

 

He leapt up, kicking one 'bot in the chest. "Do you think it'd feel good?"

 

The 'bot fell onto it's back. "NO!"

 

"Do you think it's a nice thing to do?" Sonic slammed the other 'bot into the wall with a high-speed charge.

 

The SWAT's red eye-bar flickered weakly. "No-it-isn't.-

 

Sonic looked at the two fallen bots. "So, do you still want to bash me?" He revved up for a spin-dash.

 

"NOOOOO!" The two 'bots screeched, before parts of them littered the street.

 

Sonic shook his head. "So hard to find well-mannered 'bots these days."

 

 

He cleared through more of the metal men on his way to the nearest fuel source, which happened to be a parked hovercraft.

 

The little gas can had a nifty feature, a built-in siphon tube. He inserted it into the hovercraft's fuel tank and waited.

 

Fortunately for his impatient mind, the can filled rapidly. The built-in gage beeped, indicating the can was full. He pulled out the siphon, and snapped the can closed.

 

'This thing has everything, man.' He smirked. 'Just like me.'

 

He went on his merry way.

 

**

 

Packbell absentmindly played with his tongue as he flipped through the feedback of various surveillance cameras in the city. He curled it, touched his nose.

 

'I'd be a good French kisser.' He looked around the room, his eyes resting on Robotnik, but quickly speeding away from him and onto Castor.

 

The dog was looking away.

 

'He's nasty anyway. Banana-breath, eyech!'

 

He looked back to the camera feed and was amused to see a shot of Snively and Ludmilla in one of the elevators.

 

Packbell flicked his tongue. Snively had that sexy pouty lip. He could just suck on it for hours...

 

'But really, would I wanna smooch ole Snively-ivly? Probably get my eye poked out!'

 

He looked at Snively's chubby friend. My oh my, did she have big smoochable lips, perfectly coated in a frosty pink lipstick.

 

'I bet she can do lots o' good shit with those!'

 

He looked at Snively. The grainy gray image seemed very nervous, practically trying to push himself through the wall.

 

"Awwww, Snivvy, that lady wants to give you some good lovin'!"

 

Castor came up beside him. "You talkin' to yourself, nutjob? EWWW! Get your tongue away from me! You're about as queer as him." He jabbed his finger at the surveillance monitor.

 

"Why do you call him gay?" asked Packbell. "Have you slept with him?"

 

Castor pretended to barf. "Is that a joke?!"

 

"No." Packbell's face was dead serious.

 

"Have you?" Castor demanded.

 

"No." Packbell's eyes flickered to the screen.

 

"You want to." Castor snorted and crossed his arms.

 

Packbell rolled his eyes to the ceiling, putting a finger to his lips in a coy fashion. "Really, Castor, how could you imply such a thing?"

 

"Puh." The dog sneered and punched in to the speaker in the elevator.

 

"Hey, how come you two ain't doin' the WILD THANG in there!?"

 

Snively shrieked his usual high-pitched rat-cry, jumping backwards and slamming his head on the wall. Ludmilla cooed and tried to kiss his boo-boo, but he pushed her away, snarling up into the camera.

 

"Castor, you asshole, what do you want?"

 

"I wanna see some XXX action!" Castor catcalled into the speaker. "TAKE IT OFF, BIG RED!"

 

Ludmilla giggled and did a little jig. Snively moaned and pounded on the elevator wall, wishing he would fall through. Who cares if he dropped some hundred-odd stories?

 

"Heh heh," Castor cackled, while Packbell leaned in towards the speaker. "Yeah, big boy, give it to the lady. That dog wants your bone so bad..."

 

"Children," said Robotnik sharply, turning his chair in their direction. Their large leader steepled his fingers and gazed at them, creepy eyes narrowed. "Are you contacting Snively for a purpose? You know I don't tolerate idle conversation."

 

"Even if it's EVIL idle conversation?"

 

Robotnik frowned, tapping his fingers on his armrests. They made little clinking noises. "Alright, EVIL idle conversation can be allowed..." He wagged his finger at Packbell's grin, "as long as it's done in moderate amounts."

 

Packbell shrugged. "S'allright. It isn't the quantity that matters, sir, it's the *quality* of our evil words!"

 

Robotnik stared at him.

 

Castor laughed.

 

"Whatever," the Round One said, turning away.

 

Castor turned his brown eyes back to the monitor. "Hey, c'mon, you guys don't even have your clothes off yet!"

 

"And we won't!" Snively snapped, giving Ludmilla the evil eye as she shook her head at his remark.

 

"I'll give you a sandwich ALA Castor if you start stripping!"

 

"Ew," said Snively.

 

"Ew," said Ludmilla.

 

Packbell's elbow planted itself into Castor's side, shoving the dog aside. "Since we have to moderate the idleness of our evil conversation, do you have any news?"

 

"Well, Korbin ran off with that French fox rebel, but besides that..." Snively seemed to be getting excited. He paused for a long moment.

 

Packbell pretended to be in suspense.

 

"We've captured Sir Charles!"

 

Robotnik's chair spun around fast, throwing him out. He knocked Packbell and Castor over like bowling pins.

 

"OWWWIE!" Packbell stood up.

 

Robotnik groaned and rose to his feet. After a cluck of disapproval at the damage Castor's head had done to the wall, he turned to the monitor.

 

Packbell grabbed Castor's tail and set his feet, struggling to pull the dog's head from the wall.

 

"Snively, have you really?!" Robotnik bounced around in glee. The floor shook under his weight.

 

"OWWWW! DON'T PULL MY DAMN TAIL!"

 

"Shut up, you fool, and help me! Push with your hands!"

 

"Yes, really!" said Snively, shaking with giddiness. Ludmilla danced about like a happy whale.

 

"PACKBELL, GET YER HAND OFF MY ASS!"

 

"I'M TRYIN' TO GET YOU OUT!"

 

"THE HELL YOU ARE!"

 

Robotnik stole a glance over. Packbell was sticking his tongue out and grinning. Robotnik wanted to deny the sight of Packbell's hands rubbing the dog's rear, but it was a hard thing to do when he was staring right at it. He turned away instead, trying to block the image.

 

"Ugh." He grit his teeth. "What cell is he in?"

 

"He's in cell..."

 

Snively's voice was drowned out by an enormous screeching as the wall gave way, releasing a very angry Castor's head.

 

Packbell smiled. "See, I told you I'd get you out."

 

Castor punched Packbell.

 

Robotnik tried to ignore the sounds of attempted murder behind him. "What cell?"

 

"DIEEEE YOU GAY ANDROID!!!"

 

"YOU FIRST, FLEABAG! IEEEEEEEEEE!"

 

"Cell D..."

 

"YAAAAAAH!"

 

Robotnik whirled around, face twisted like a Halloween (or Halloweenie, as Packbell called it) mask. "STOP THAT AT ONCE OR YOU WILL BOTH LICK MY PERSONAL TIOLET CLEAN!"

 

Packbell stopped in mid-strangle, while Castor let go of Packbell's arm. It fell to the floor.

 

"Whore! You ripped off me' arm!"

 

The android picked it up, eyes shiny with tears. "That was my good arm too... the one I typed with. The one I caught with. The one I diddle myself with..."

 

"AWWW, SHUT IT!" Castor kicked Packbell soundly in the head.

 

"Aw, damn!" Packbell sprawled on the floor, his one eyes staring, dismayed...at his other eye laying 3 feet away.

 

 

Robotnik sighed. "Cell D, what?"

 

"D-1, sir."

 

"Ah good." Robotnik grinned his toothy grin and brought up camera feed from the D cell Block.

 

His grin soon turned sour.

 

 

"Ve did so good!" whispered Ludmilla.

 

Snively stared up at the speaker. Oh, how his uncle must be smiling away.

 

'Oh, I'll surely get that opaque shower curtain NOW! Packbell won't be able to spy on me anymore!'

 

What a lovely thing! No more prying android eyes through that clear, flimsy piece of crap shower curtain he had now...NO! A heavy, un-transparent piece of heaven was his prize for being so smart, so gosh-darned clever for catching that old geezer!

 

Robotnik's voice crackled over the speaker. Snively practically drooled in anticipation. Ludmilla squealed, clasping her hands.

 

"He's not there."

 

"WHAT?!"

 

"VHAT!?"

 

"He isn't there," Robotnik repeated flatly.

 

"But sir...we just locked him up not ten minutes ago. He MUST be there!"

 

"And you MUST be a liar, because he is not there, unless he's invisible, and that's highly unlikely!"

 

"Oh no, sir, he kept turning invisible vhen ve brought him down."

 

Robotnik growled. "Why do I not believe that?"

 

Ludmilla shrugged. "Because it vas a joke?"

 

Robotnik nodded, even though his two elevator-bound minions couldn't see him. "Exactly." His face wrinkled into a frown. "I must think of a horrid punishment for you, Snively!"

 

"Boil him in oil!" yelled Packbell.

 

"Shoot him in the crotch!" Castor snarled.

 

"Skin him alive!" bellowed Ludmilla.

 

"Hey!" Snively elbowed her.

 

"Sorry." She pouted, and hugged him.

 

Robotnik scowled.

 

Castor looked at Ludmilla hugging Snively. Or more specifically, the look on Snively's face. A look that said he'd *rather be* shot, boiled, or skinned than be anywhere near the pudgy fox.

 

"Hmmmm." An evil light came to his eyes. He stepped up to Robotnik. "Sir, I got a suggestion..."

 

Robotnik's fat lips curved into a grin as Castor's idea whispered into his ear and found delightful acceptance in his twisted brain...

 

**

 

Sonic tapped his foot as the fuel flowed up through the siphon tube and into the tank of Princess ARC.

 

He looked at his reflection in the polished side of the aircraft and grinned. "Image of perfection, yessireee." He traced his gloved finger along the smooth surface. "Too bad this perfect image isn't on Princess ARC all the time."

 

Maybe that was a little too arrogant. "Ya know what would look good on you?" he asked the aircraft.

 

It didn't answer.

 

"A chilidog. A chili dog, with the chili painted in wonderful shades of red and brown, and the bun a smooth creamy shade...ohhhhh." He let out a groan. "Give me a chili dog, and I'll never be unhappy."

 

"Are you almost done?"

 

He jumped. "ARGH!"  He looked at the aircraft, as if expecting it to talk, but the voice had come from Sally, standing impatiently with her arms crossed. Behind her, he saw Bunnie run up with Antoine in her arms.

 

"Oh, I see you found wuss-boy."

 

Antoine hopped out of Bunnie's arms. "At least I am not a gas-boy."

 

Sonic scowled. "I already trashed my daily requirement of SWATbots, so I like...can kick back and relax if I want. What'd YOU do, besides get captured?"

 

"I...I discovered Robotneek's new project! Two horrible dragons!"

 

"Uh, Ant, Bunnie already told us about 'em."

 

"But *I* was seeing them first, Son-eec!"

 

Sonic scoffed. "Oh puh-leese, Ant, big deal who saw them first. You're the only one dumb enough to get captured by them."

 

"Guys, save your macho crap for later." Sally looked nervously behind them.

 

Korbin was approaching at full speed. "You won't get away, my foxy fox!" He bellowed. "Or you, girls...I think you have an appointment with Robotnik's holding cells!"

 

"No, that appointment was cancelled..." Sonic looked at his watch, while the girls and Antoine scrambled into the aircraft. "Gee, it was

cancelled at 3:45, sorry."

 

Korbin looked down at his watch. "That's right now."

 

"Exactly," said Sonic. He took out the siphon and closed the gas tank. In a blur of blue, he was inside the craft. Sally shoved the stick forward and up, and they zoomed off into the sky.

 

 

Korbin put his hands on his hips. "That blue spineball thinks he's clever. Well, I'll show him he can't cancel appointments at such a short notice." He sighed. "Then I can have that sexy French man back again. That scraggly looking rabbit ain't nothing compared to me!"

 

"HEY, YOU SCALY-ASS HOMO, WHAT'S UP?"

 

Korbin jumped a mile, batting his hands at the voice. This sent his earpiece flying out of his ear and onto the ground, where he could hear someone's crude laughter.

 

He picked it up, and inserted it back in his ear. "Who the hell is this?"

 

"The Almighty Castor."

 

Korbin thought for a moment. "Oh. The tough-talking ladies man I've yet to see with any ladies?"

 

He heard Packbell laughing in the background, and an intake of breath, as Castor prepared to blast him with insults.

 

"Save it," Korbin said. "I've got Freedom Fighters to catch!"

 

"Oh yeah," said Castor. "Like that French fox you were trying to hump. Your other lover Snively told us all about it."

 

"Snivvy?!" Korbin exclaimed. "Did he say anything else?"

 

"He said, and I quote, "That Korbin, who happens to be a big fat fairy, was trying to bang this really gay-looking fox. The one with the bad hair."

 

"Oh whatever." Korbin rolled his eyes. "I know my Snivvy wouldn't say that!" He frowned. "What's wrong with his hair? I thought it was nice."

 

"AHHHA! You are so gay, Korbin. Nobody but a gay queerball like you would like his hair!"

 

"I like it," said Packbell.

 

"I rest my case."

 

"Shut up," came Robotnik's voice. "I'm tired of hearing these discussions of sexual preferences. Who cares?"

 

"Well, you wouldn't care, sir, since you never get lai.."

 

Korbin winced at the sound of Castor being violently thrown into the wall. Robotnik's voice came loudly over his earpiece. "Have you any news, Korbin?"

 

"I was just about to chase the Freedom Fighters!"

 

"Oh good. Very good. Catch them, will you?"

 

"Of course." Korbin looked at the sky, seeing the aircraft becoming a speck on the horizon. "I like...should go now."

 

"All right, and Korbin, please, stay away from the French fox."

 

 

Korbin muttered as the link went dead, then launched himself into the air. An alleyway rat squeaked at the sound of Korbin's departing words.

 

"No one will stand in my way of being with you, French fox! NO ONE!"

 

The rat cleaned its whiskers with its tiny pink paws.

 

"Why would anyone like that French fox? He has really bad hair." The rat leapt for a dumpster. "Although it is cheese-colored... YUM."

 

All thoughts but cheese-oriented ones fled the rat's primitive brain as it crawled into the dumpster.

 

**

 

"That freak is following us!" said Sally, glancing in her rearview mirror. The male dragon had lost his goofy grin and stupid demeanor, and now was chasing them with a rather evil glint in his eye.

 

He was equal, if not faster, in speed than the female, and Sally had to increase the throttle almost full-speed in order to keep ahead of him.

 

"So...like...did that guy try an' kill you or anything?" Sonic asked Antoine.

 

"Non! He was acting very strange though."

 

"He was hitting on Antoine," Sally laughed.

 

Sonic crinkled his nose. "Eh, who'd wanna hit on youuuu?"

 

Bunnie grinned and nuzzled Antoine's cheek with her nose. "Ah would..."

 

"Ugh...stop or I'll be barfin' up chilidog all over the place!"

 

Bunnie turned her head, winking one of her emerald eyes at the hedgehog. "We wouldn't want that, would we?" Her breath tickled Antoine's ear and he giggled.

 

Sonic pretended to gag.

 

**

 

"DAMN!" Lydia stomped her feet, angry because a rat had escaped her grip. Her pout turned into a large grin, exposing every one of her razor teeth as she saw a hovercraft hurtle by.

 

It was the same hovercraft with the rebels in it, judging from the god-awful piloting.

 

She wondered what one of them was driving. Probably that stupid rabbit. 'Her arms are all different sizes,' thought Lydia. 'I can take care of that problem. Of course she'd be short two arms then...but...'

 

She heard someone yelling and looked up, blue eyes narrowing as she saw her 'brother' chasing the hovercraft.

 

"What a goof. He flies stupid."

 

Korbin was all tilted to one side, and had his arms outstretched, as if he thought he could grab the hovercraft and stop it in midair.

 

"Dumbass," Lydia scoffed.

 

She shrugged, leaping into the air. "I better make sure he doesn't screw up."

 

 

 

The hovercraft screamed between buildings.

 

Antoine howled, diving under the seat and clutching Sally's feet. She snarled and kicked his hands. "STOP IT ANT! I'M TRYIN' TO DRIVE HERE!"

 

"NON! YOU ARE TRYING TO GET US ALL KILL-ED!"

 

"Why the hell would I try to get us all kill-ed...do you think I wanna be dead, Ant?" Sally rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

 

"WATCH OUT!" Bunnie yelled, throwing herself at the controls. Sally smirked, slamming the stick hard to the side. The hovercraft turned, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with the side of a building.

 

Sonic took his face out of his hands. "Are we still alive?"

 

 

Korbin tried to stop. Lydia watched as he flailed his arms and legs wildy, trying to grab the air. Unfortunately, the air didn't help and he ended up smashed into the side of the building, with his arms and legs spread out like a pinwheel.

 

"You are a moron." She hovered in the air near the building, watching the hovercraft speed away.

 

"That dumb rabbit almost hit this wall too...but I guess she ain't half as dumb as you! DUMBASS!"

 

She kicked her clone-kin in the tail.

 

He moaned.

 

She sighed and grabbed his arms, peeling him away from the wall.

 

"Oh, thanks," he said, rubbing his face, which seemed strangely flattened. "That really hurt."

 

"Thanks to you and your retarded-ness, they're getting away!"

 

He pointed a clawed finger at her. "You shut up, Lydia! I'm tired of you like...thinking you're better than me."

 

"I am! I'm a hundred times better than you!"

 

"You are not! I'm a thousand times better than you!"

 

"Are not! I'm a million times better!"

 

"A billion!"

 

"A million billion!"

 

"A million sextillion billion!"

 

"Sextillion?"

 

"Yeah." Korbin shrugged. "That's like...a really cool number, huh? I learned it in math class with Snivvy..."

 

"Oh really? I didn't think the word sex and Snively went together."

 

Korbin grinned. "Oh, Lydia, don't deny it. You like him."

 

"Oh brother, you are more brain-damaged than I thought!"

 

He turned in midair. The hovercraft was out of sight, but he could see the trail it had cut through the smog. "We should like...be chasing them, and being all bad-guyish and stuff."

 

He took off, but Lydia knocked him back into the building with a swoop of her tail.

 

"Ladies first!"

 

Then she looked back over her shoulder, grinning meanly.

 

"I take that back...I don't want you going ahead of me..."

 

 

**

 

"We should duck into my hideout and see if Robotnik is saying anything about our group," said Chuck.

 

"Yeah!" said Tails excitedly. "Your hideout is sooo cool!"

 

"Of course," said Chuck. "Who do you think taught Sonic all he knows about being cool?"

 

"I always thought Sonic was just a natural at being cool."

 

"Nope. Got it from me."

 

Tails looked away, trying not to laugh.

 

Chuck laughed for him.

 

"How close are we to it?" asked Tails.

 

"Oh, about a half mile."

 

Tails made a face. "You sure don't make things easy, do you?"

 

"You look like you could use some exercise...you're getting a little chubby."

 

Tails looked down at his belly. "Oh, I'm just bloated from breakfast."

 

"Chilidogs?"

 

"Yep." Tails grimaced and let out a loud fart.

 

Chuck hurried his steps.

 

Tails chuckled.

 

 

"GAAAAH!" Chuck exclaimed, suddenly halting. Tails bumped into him.

 

"It don't smell that bad, geez."

 

"No, look!" Chuck pointed upwards.

 

Above them, a hovercraft zoomed by, followed by two dragons. They appeared to be gaining.

 

"WHOA! Friends of Dulcy's?"

 

"No!" Chuck shook his head. "Friends of Robotnik! Those are his big projects!"

 

Tails blinked in realization. "That's Princess ARC!"

 

"We better get to the hideout...we might be able to help them from there...somehow..."

 

They broke into a run.

 

**

 

"Take this!" Sally screamed, shaking her head wildly around. She titled the craft on its side, then did a sharp turn around a building. Bunnie and Antoine were thrown into the wall.

 

"Mah stars, Ah think ya'll are takin' this warrior princess thang too far!"

 

 

"KORBIN! LOOK OUT!" Lydia wheeled around the turn. She marveled at how smooth and fast she took it, and with such control! She was truly a beast of the skies.

 

From the sickening thud of her 'brother' colliding with the wall once again, she knew he was only a natural at being a stupid klutz.

 

'Forget him, the loser. I don't need him for nothin'.'

 

So she left her poor poor Korbin pancaked against the wall. He moaned and slowly slid down the building until he lay upon the ground.

 

His vision cleared and he saw two pairs of feet in front of him. Blue metallic ones and orange furry ones.

 

'Must be a SWAT with a prisoner.'  He sat up, then blinked, surprised to see a robotic hedgehog with a young multi-tailed fox staring at him.

 

The hedgehog moved the fox behind him. "Run, Tails, I'll catch up."

 

"No way," the orange...

 

Korbin stared...

 

Young...

 

Korbin's mouth opened...

 

Sexy...

 

A stream of drool dripped from Korbin's mouth.

 

...fox said.

 

Tails tilted his head, eyes widening in fear. "Look at him! He looks like he wants to eat us!" He tugged Chuck's arm. "C'mon, let's go!"

 

Korbin leapt up, clasping his hands together. "Oh, don't be afraid. I don't want to eat you..." He grinned craftily. "At least...not all of you..."

 

Tails frowned. He couldn't understand why little pink hearts were dancing in the dragon's eyes.

 

**

 

Castor pranced about, holding two bananas to his forehead. "Oh look, I'm Korbin! Look at my horns...heh...I'm so horny, durrrr, get it? I like guys, epically little boys!"

 

Packbell leaned against the computer console. "Damn, Castor, you oughta be a comedian."

 

"And the reason I'm gay is because a homosexual android forced me to watch his gay home videos."

 

Packbell frowned. "They weren't home videos. They were very high quality professional films...that I happened to direct and record."

 

Robotnik sighed. "I think I'm going to make a rule that forbids any sort of conversation in my presence. My brain seems to lose a few cells every time I listen to you two..."

 

**

 

"OH MERCI! SHE IS RIGHT ON OUR BE-HINDS!"

 

"Yes, I see." Sally glanced in the rearview mirror. The thought of the image actually being closer than it appeared was a little disconcerting, considering she could see nearly every detail of the dragon's tightly clenched teeth.

 

The craft lurched as the dragon slammed into them. Sally struggled to keep them from smashing into the surrounding buildings.

 

Lydia slammed the craft with her shoulder again. They scraped the side of the building, sending sparks flying into the air behind them.

 

"D'oh, there goes Rotor's paintjob." Sonic covered his eyes.

 

"Die, you big-headed freaks!" They heard the dragon howl.

 

"Them's fighting words!" Bunnie clenched her fists. "Ah am not big-headed!" She looked at Sally, smiling a large sweet grin. "May Ah have the controls for a minute, hon?"

 

Antoine shook his head wildly, although Sally couldn't see him. He was still under the seat. "NON! Do not be letting her! She is zee maniac!"

 

"Awww, don't listen to him." Bunnie's smile remained. "Ya'll know what a chicken he is."

 

Sonic laughed, saying, "I don't think anyone's driving could be worse than Sal's, anyhow...," while Antoine protested that he was not a poultry bird, he was a fox!

 

"I like driving," said Sally, reluctant to give up the pilot's seat. She threw the craft into a dive as the dragon tried to ram them again. The dragon was good; she stopped herself from slamming into a building with a graceful turn of her body.

 

"Why is she such a good flyer and the guy sucks?"

 

"I dunno, Sonic." Sally raised an eyebrow. "Because girls are typically better than guys?"

 

"Oh puh-leese," the hedgehog scoffed, looking down at Antoine. "She's so full of it, right Ant?"

 

"Full of what?"

 

"Nevermind."

 

"C'mon Sally-girl. Let me drive!"

 

"Aw, fine. But just for a minute, k?"

 

"Oh yeah. Okie-dokie."

 

Sally stood and moved to the passenger seat. Then she went flying into the side as the dragon rammed them again. With the controls unmanned, the craft hurtled towards a building.

 

Bunnie leapt for the stick, wrenching it to the side. The craft glanced off the side of the building with a terrific screech of metal on metal.

 

Antoine screamed.

 

Sonic yelled.

 

Bunnie howled.

 

Sally screeched.

 

Lydia smirked.

 

 

Bunnie slid her metal-plated rear into the seat and took control of the aircraft.

 

Lydia snorted. "The big-headed rabbit thinks she can outfly me, eh?"

 

She hovered for a moment, stretching her neck, and then swooped in for another attack on the craft.

 

"Let's even the score, shall we?" Bunnie asked.

 

"NON!" Antoine pleaded, grabbing her feet under the seat. "Let us just run!"

 

"Don't be a wussy, Ant."

 

Bunnie grinned. Sonic suddenly felt like a wussy himself. When she got that smile on her face...

 

"Don't do nothin' too nuts, ok, Bunnie?"

 

"Awww, is the sugah-hog afraid?" Bunnie's grin widened. Then she moved the craft sideways. Princess ARC's side collided with Lydia in the middle of her attack.

 

 

"Gah!" Lydia flailed her arms, feeling very Korbin-ish. Her flank hit agasint a building, and she felt herself falling.

 

She shook her head, flapped her wings and got herself controlled again. But it was not without reprucussions. The hovercraft was gone.

 

"DAMN!"

 

She lifted herself higher, until she soared above all but the highest buildings, and saw a glint of metal moving swiftly away.

 

"Gotcha, you little brats."

 

She clicked a button on her wrist communicator. "'Ey, Korbin, where are you? Why don't you head off the brats? They're heading east, fast."

 

She heard heavy breathing through his end, but he didn't respond. She growled, surveying the ground far below her.

 

Her keen eyes caught sight of two Freedom Fighters running down the streets; Korbin not far behind.

 

She shrugged. "Fine, you catch them. I'm gonna go get that damn hovercraft."

 

**

 

Antoine crawled out from under the seat and stood next to Bunnie's chair. He lovingly stroked her hand. "You lost her, mon chere!"

 

"Well, of course, sugah!"

 

"You nearly crashed us," said Sonic, chuckling a bit nervously. "Some driving!"

 

"My Bunnie could be out-driving you, any day!"

 

"Out crashing, ya mean!"

 

Bunnie shook her finger at Sonic. "Now, now, I got yer blue butt away from that ole dragon-lady, ya oughta be grateful."

 

"I'm very grateful," cooed Antoine.

 

Sonic scowled.

 

Sally gazed out the windshield, watching the buildings speed by. "Well, now that we got Ant, let's get home."

 

"Okie dokie." Bunnie grinned, but then her mouth dropped. The rest of the group followed her gaze.

 

Lydia was in front of them, coming at them full speed!

 

"Uh-oh."

 

"No kidding."

 

"Shut up, ya guys, and hold on!" Bunnie turned the stick to avoid the dragon, but her tail whacked them, spinning them in circles.

 

"OHHH, DIZZY!" Antoine moaned and fell to the floor, head flopping into Bunnie's lap.

 

"No time for playin', sugah!" Bunnie shoved him away with one hand, steadying the craft with the other.

 

"I just cannot control myself around you," Antoine grinned from the floor.

 

Sonic clutched his stomach. "I'm halfway from pukin', now, Ant, speed it up a little, why don'tcha?"

 

Bunnie glanced in the rearview. "Why, I'm getting' deja-vu!"

 

"Man, she's on our butts again! Why don't she just give up? Can't she see that we got the...the uh...upper hand..."

 

"Oh oui, sure," said Antoine. Sonic pressed his sneaker onto the fox's muzzle, effectively silencing him.

 

"See," said Sally.

 

"What?" Sonic's eyebrow raised.

 

"See, you said why can't she see!"

 

"So?"

 

"SO!" Sally shrugged out of her vest. "Crack open that window!"

 

"But it stinks out there!"

 

"Do it, Sonic!"

 

"Ok, fine."

 

Sally moved to the opening, holding the vest in her hands. Before she could do anything, Sonic grinned deviously and turned his back to the window...

 

"Gahh!" Lydia's mouth flapped open. "What a disgusting little turd!" she growled, but her eyes did not stray from the view of hedgehog butt hanging out the hovercraft window.

 

"Sonic! Knock it off!" Sally pushed him away, then looked out at the dragon.

 

"Your little friend's ass was a better view!" Lydia yelled.

 

"Don't worry, you won't see me for long." Sally smirked dryly, then extended her arm out the opening, vest in grip.

 

It hung in midair for a split second, then flew back, landing with convenient precision upon Lydia's face.

 

 

With her vision suddenly blocked, Lydia found herself disoriented. She shook her head, trying to discard the cloth, flailing with her arms. A strong current caught her wings and she glided fast. A final shake and the vest was gone.

 

She let out a yelp at the sight of a building...too close to turn! She tried anyway, avoiding a head-on collision, but her shoulder and side hit hard.

 

She fell, stunned.

 

**

 

The sounds of panting and footsteps filled the stale air of eastern Robotropolis.

 

"Run...run!"

 

"I am!"

 

Tails looked over his shoulder. A dragon's smile and crazed eyes shone back at him, not far behind, and gaining fast.

 

"Leave us alone, you weirdo!"

 

Korbin's grin widened. "Sorry, it's my job! I'll throw your old and un-tasty friend into the cells, but you...." He shrugged as best he could while running, "You'll be my bonus for good work."

 

Tails didn't like the sound of that. "What does he mean?"

 

Uncle Chuck glanced over. "You don't wanna know."