I cut myself (on purpose)
-MistressAli

I cut myself on purpose
I want the blood to flow
But afraid of pain, I falter
I want danger without risk
I want...

Though sometimes I wish for death
This is not one of those times
With droplets of ruby
Welling up so sweetly there
On skin I dare not rend further
I just want to feel...danger?
Exhilarant? O, Life, I want to feel
Wildly free, like wind and birds, 
I want to laugh and scream and dance
And share thoughts with friends and
Drink and make love and let
Cares go into the trees, falling
Away from me with the dying leaves.

What I want I cannot have. 

And so I just graze the surface
Of this frightened skin
And watch the blood barely come.
It's not deep enough. It isn't dangerous.

I know now, my fingers will never
Push that blade further.