Stars by MistressAli

A/N: This is a songfic I was writing to Tatu’s song, “Stars.” I actually had a very nifty music-video in my head to it and decided to make a songfic based on it. As you can see, it’s incomplete, but hey...maybe I’ll finish it someday.

**

I don't know why I loved him, or how I fell.

I knew that I wasn't supposed to. That it was wrong. Or so they said.

It felt wrong, but it was only the guilt of hiding, that I *had* to hide it. That it was a necessity to keep our love sheltered under stones where nobody could see it.

I wanted them all to know, so very badly. They didn't see him...the way I did. The way he, so shyly, childlike, had watched me by the pond. He said I had dew in my hair, and they looked like strings of pearls. And a hand, trembling, lifted to brush them away.

Geoffrey came to see me in the morning, watching the both of us with his murky eyes narrowed shrewdly. He seemed to suspect something. Perhaps he had seen our hands touching on the table before he'd walked in, and we'd darted them away like frightened mice, back to our own bodies.

I wish I could go out to the firepit in the middle of the village and scream of him and I, and our passion. And they would come and pelt me with rocks and say: “how, how can *he* be *anything* to you!"

He is my heart and this silence twists the knife, making us both bleed.

I don't know. I guess, maybe, he didn't mind so much? He was used to cramming feelings into a hard little lump in the back of his throat. I saw, when my hand moved down his bare skin, I saw the marks they had put on him. I cried over the scars on his stomach and he said if tears could heal, mine surely would. He put a hand in my hair, stroking, and he said, "Don't cry for me. I'm not lost anymore. You guided me out of the...”

Dark...where we stood kissing, in the slow evening twilight of summer. Frogs were singing and the trees whispered.

"For the first time in my life..." he whispered against my lips. "I'm flying..."

"I want to stay here...forever." I said. For this beautiful moment, we were alone and in love and free from their shame. It wasn't OUR guilt we felt; it was everything they piled on us.

But they didn't know. Nobody in Knothole knew that Bunnie Rabbot and Snively Kintobar were in love...

It happened not fast, but slow. At first I was distrustful, and then distrust turned to pity. Pity turned to understanding and gentle friendship. We were together so much. He lived in my home, because he had nowhere else. I began to see him as more than a former enemy, or a filthy Overlander, one to be distrusted and hated. I began to see him as a living being with needs, a need to be given to, and a need to give. He was damaged but not trash. He could be fixed.

And he too shed those ideals he'd upheld before. He saw me as more than a dirty Mobian, a lesser being, only fit for enslavement to his supposedly more intelligent race.

We both learned so much and teacher fell for student, and vice versa. He made me see that my eyes, even though I thought them wide open, were really still half-closed.

And I thank for him for that.

And I love him for that.

***

How did we ever get this far?

You touched my hand and start the car

And for the first time in my life, I'm crying

Are we in space, do we belong...

Some place where no one calls it wrong

And like the stars we burn away

The miles

How did we ever get this far?

It shouldn't have to be this hard.

Now for the first time in my life, I'm flying

Are we in love? Do we deserve...

To bear the shame of this whole world?

And like the night we camouflage denial.

How did we ever get this far?

You touched my hand and start the car

And for the first time in my life, I'm crying

Are we in love? Do we deserve...

To bear the shame of this whole world?

And like the night we camouflage denial.