Discliamer- Dic Entertainment, Archie Comics, and SEGA own everything, okay? Gravy...

“Hurry up, Sonic!” Sally was saying, tapping her foot impatiently. “We have to get ready to go on today’s mission!”

Sonic swallowed the chilli dog he’d been munching on. “No prob, Sal! The Hedgehog is always up for ruining ‘ol ‘Buttnik’s day!” He raced over to Sally’s side. “So what’s on the ‘ol agenda for today, Sal? Blowing up factories, and the usual past cool mayhem?” He pointed to himself proudly. “Whatever it is, I’m your man- er, hedgehog!”

Sally smiled. “Actually, Sonic, today’s mission is going to be quite a different, not to mention interesting change of pace from our usual routine. Last week, when we were flying overhead Robotropolis in the Freedom Stormer, do you remember the SWATBots and WorkerBots doing construction on what appeared to be a large building of some sort down over in the further end of the city?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sonic said slowly, remembering. “I always wondered what was up with that place goin’ up.” He shrugged. “I just figured Robuttnik was havin’ another factory built, that’s all. No prob’. So we juice down to ‘ol Robo-Country and blow the sucker to Kindom Come, whether it’s finished by now or not. What’s so different ‘bout that? Ain’t it what we always do, Sal?”

“Actually, Sonic, it’s not any type of factory at all,” Sally said with a knowing smile.

“Say what? What else could it be then? Maybe something to do with the upcoming Doomsday Project?” Sonic frowned. “Whatever it is, I’ll bet dollars to chilli dogs that it’s part of another no-good scheme of Robuttnik’s! I wonder what the guy’s got up his sleeve this time.” He shook his head. “Man, some people just never learn! It doesn’t matter what Robuttski is constructing, ‘cause I’m just gonna put a stop to it- Hedgehog style!” he added with a grin.

Sally shook her head impatiently. “Will you give your ego a rest, and just listen to me for one moment? Now look, according to this message I just received from Uncle Chuck, he overheard Robotnik discussing “some sort of plans for the upcoming Wal-Mart he was having constructed”. According to Sir Charles’ letter, the Wal-Mart was just finished production on last night, and is making it’s Grand Opening today.”

“Whoa, Sal, time out!” Sonic said, making that ‘time-out’ gesture with his hands. “Back it up a bit- first of all, what’s a “wall-mart”?”

“According to legend, it was a very popular department store down on Planet Earth, hundreds of years ago. In fact, it was apparently the most well-known and popular store in it’s time.”

Sonic looked confused. “A department store? Uh, are you sure you got that message right, Sal? Why on Mobius would Robotnik want to build a department store? Unless he’s just mad for a bargain...”

“I don’t know...” Sally said with a shrug. “But our mission for today, Sonic, is to head down to this new Wal-Mart and buy everything and anything we don’t need, plus anything that we do happen to need. Our goal- to shop until we drop! To carelessly spend all our money until we completely run out!” She paused. “Any questions?”

“Uh, yeah, just one- what the heck is up with you women and shopping?! Oh, and I suppose you’ll make me stand around for hours while you try on a bunch of clothes, shoes, and makeup, asking me for my opinions, expecting me to go on about how cool you look every five minutes, listen to you drone on about how cool you think you look, and then carry all the heavy packages home myself! Bor-ing! Thanks, but no thanks, Sal! That ain’t the Hedgehog’s idea of fun! Wrecking Butt-Bots and Butt-Bot factories, yeah, but gong on a major shopping spree with women, no! Leave that sort of junk to Antoine, but count me out, sister!” He paused. “Besides- what if it’s trap?”

Sally grinned. “Amazing- for the first time ever, you’re actually being the responsible, rational one, Sonic! Well, can’t I be careless once in a while too? Why should you just have all the fun, Sonic Hedgehog? It’s not fair! You think it’s easy always acting as the level-headed one all the time?” she suddenly screamed, throwing a giant fit.

“Yo, Sal, chill!” Sonic said, backing away. “You’re acting mondo scary!” He shook his head. “Whoa, is that what preparing to out on a shopping spree does to you ladies?”

“No! I’m just, uh, PMSing!” Sally lied. She then called out, “Okay, girls! Let’s go! Be sure to bring your purses- and don’t forget to bring the guys as well; we’ll need them to stand around and shower us with flattering comments while we model our new clothes, and then carry home all our heavy boxes and packages in the end!”

Bunnie and Dulcy then showed up. Bunnie was dragging a whimpering Antoine with her... by the end of a rope. “Noooo! Please, Bunnie, I am not wanting to endure zeese long, tear-e-ble torture all day! Do not make me go, oh, please! I tink I would rather ‘ave zat Snip-ley torture me with his awful cooking of zee Crepe Suzzettes and zee Esgargot, zen go through a whole day of shopping with crazed females!”

Dulcy had Rotor tied down to her back, who turned his attention to the audience. “Anyone out there watching this episode... please call 911!!” he screamed to the kids at home.

Just then, Tails, who had no idea what was going on, flew on down. “Hey, what’s going on? You guys going on a mission? Cool! Can I go too, Aunt Sally? Please? I promise I’ll clean my room, and eat all my vegetables, and-”

“No, Tails. How many times do we have to go through this? Not until you’re old enough to become an official Freedom Fighter!” Sally said firmly. Just then, Bunnie nudged Sally with an evil grin and whispered something into her ear, gesturing towards the young kitsune. Then Sally, who had the same evil grin on her face now, turned towards Tails and said slyly, ‘Very well, Tails, you can come with us on our mission. The more guys along with us, the better!”

“Yayyy!!” Tails cheered, completely oblivious to Sally’s true intentions.

“Run, Tails, run! Run inside your hut and bolt all the doors and windows! Save yourself! You’re too young to experience this female-style of intense torture!” Sonic, Antoine, and Rotor all screamed.

But it was too late...

“Ah, yes, Snively, what a truely magnificent evil genius I am!” Robotnik was saying to his bald, midget-like nephew/minion. “Having a Wal-Mart department store constructed right here in Robotropolis! I AM THE SUPREME MASTER OF SALES! ALL THE VERY BEST DEALS SHALL BE MINE! NO BARGAIN SHALL ESCAPE MY WRATH! HAHAHAHAHA!!”

Snively just rolled his eyes. “Yes, sir,” he replied in his usual dull monotone, thinking what a fucking fruit-basket his uncle was. “Very crafty of you indeed, oh Lord of Low Prices.” He paused. “But sir, did you, er, ever consider using this store as bait to capture the Princess? Females are truely mad for excellent bargains, sir, and so she couldn’t possibly be able to resist the temptation of having access to an actual Wal-Mart right here in Robotroplis, you see. Most females usually also drag their boyfriends along to the store with them, so they can watch them try on clothes, tell them how grand they look, and then carry all the packages home afterwards. Therefore, the Princess would most likely bring Sonic along with her, sir!” He grinned slyly. “Just think, sir! We’d have both the Princess and the Hedgehog right in the palm of our hands! Why, we could set up deadly traps in each isle, booby-trap all the merchandise on every shelf and rack, and even cleverly design the dressing rooms to be actual roboticizers on the inside! What do you think, sir? Why, this is an even better trap then that idea of mine to hold a Speed Contest to lure the Hedgehog into our clutches, if I do say so myself,” Snively said smugly, getting that same proud expression on his face like in the SatAM episode, “Sonic Racer.”

“How about... no, Snively? Okay?” Robotnik said, completing ignoring the one in his family who actually had any brains.

“N-no?! But, sir!” Snively protested in shock.

“Zip it, Snively.”

“But-”

“Zip it!”

“But-”

“Ladies and gentleman of the jury, Ex-zip-it ‘A’!”

“But-”

“Would you care for a suck on my zipple?”

“If you would only-”

“Look! I’m Zippy Longstocking!” Robotnik said, holding up imaginary pigtails.

“I really think-”

Robotnik started speaking a string of Japanese gibberish. “Subtitle: ‘Zip it!’”

“Sir, honestly!”

“When a problem comes along, you must zip it!” Robotnik sang, snapping his fingers. He made a whipping sound-effect. “Zip it good!”

Finally, Snively just sighed and gave up. “Well, if you refuse to have anything to do with my ingenious plan, then may I at least be permitted to partake in the shopping ritual? It’s just that-” Snively got all teary-eyed. “-I’ve never actually gone shopping before, sir. I’ve lived such a very deprived life...” he sniffled in a choked voice. “S-so may I request your permission to come along shopping with you?”

“Hmm, well, I don’t know about that, Snively. I’ll have to consult Cluck before I make such a rash decision.” He turned to his beloved robotic chicken, who sat perched on his shoulder. “What do you think, my pet? Should we allow my poor foolish nephew to join in the shopping fun with us?”

Hmph! The Big Round Guy never consults me for advice before making any real rash decisions, yet he’s perfectly content with asking that cursed chicken about such a simple thing! Snively thought to himself bitterly.

Cluck made some mechanical clucking sounds in response to it’s master’s question. “Sorry, Snively, permission denied. I’m afraid you’ve just been out-voted... and Cluck always gets the final vote, because she’s my personal pet! Now be a good lad and go wait quietly in the hovercraft!”

“But sir, do you really think that’s fair?” Snively cried in outrage. “I’m the one who posed the question in the first place, it has to do with me, and so why wasn’t I entitled to a vote?”

Robotnik shrugged. “Well now, Snively, if you had wished to vote too, perhaps you should have gotten your own ballot, hmmm? Now, go wait in the hovercraft! I won’t be long... 24 hours, perhaps. I’ll simply be picking up a few essentials, nothing much... I’ll expect you to meet me at the front doors in 24 hours, or more, to carry all my packages out to the hovercraft.”

Snively tried again. “Sir, I really think you should follow my plan on capturing the Hedgehog and Princess. It’s the perfect trap, I just know it is! I assure you, it simply cannot fail! Now, I’ll make all the necessary preperations, and-”

Robotnik grabbed his nephew up by his shirt. “Are you defying my orders, nephew? Because when people defy my orders, then I get very angry. And when I get angry, Cluck gets upset. And when Cluck gets upset, people die!!”

Snively squealed in terror and took off running for the hovercraft, which was parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot. When he was inside the craft, out of Robotnik’s earshot, he screamed at the top of his lungs, “I hate you! I hate you bo-o-o-oooth!!” (A/N: He yelled that in an episode entitled, “Cry of the Wolf”, btw!)

Sally, Bunnie, and Dulcy arrived outside the entrance of Wal-Mart, about fifteen minutes later, dragging their reluctant male comrades along with them. They made a mad dash into the store, their purses flinging out, screaming “Charge it!” at the top of their lungs, accompanied by the mysterious trumpet of horns from out of nowhere. (A/N: Think of Betty and Willma from The Flintstones!)

“Oh, brother,” Sonic groaned, rolling his eyes. He turned to the other guys. “Hey, guys, how do ya stop a woman from charging?” he asked dryly.

Antoine looked confused. “Zere eez no stopping of zee crazy women when zey are charging; you simply must run for your life!!” the stupid coyote screamed, running smack into the automatic doors of the entrance like a frickin’ goon... kinda like Snively did in “Heads or Tails”.

Sonic glanced down at his foolish French friend. “Uh, Ant’? You really gotta stop taking things so literally all the time,” he remarked, rolling his eyes.

Antoine suddenly sat up, raising a finger into the air triumphantly. “Aha! I have eet!” he announced proudly. “How do you stop a woman from charging? We zimply take away... her bank card!”

Sonic rolled his eyes. “Close enough, Antoine.” He turned to the others. “Come on, gang, we better juice inside the joint before the PMS Posse get impatient.”

“Sonic, wait a second!” Rotor suddenly said. “Maybe that’s the answer to our problem! Maybe we really should steal the girls’ credit cards! That way, they wouldn’t be able to buy a thing! It’d save us guys tons of trouble, that’s for sure!”

“But how would we even get their credit cards in the first place?” questioned Tails. “They’ll have their purses with them the entire time, won’t they?”

Sonic grinned. “Hey, don’t sweat it, big guy- where there’s a hedgehog, there’s a way!”

Inside Wal-Mart, Sally was saying, “All right, guys, let’s split up here. Bunnie, you take Antoine with you. Dulcy, you take Rotor with you. And I’ll take Sonic and Tails into the Shoe Department with me. We’ll all meet together at McDonalds in two hours, clear?”

The girls nodded. So Bunnie headed off to the Makeup and Jewelry Department with Antoine, while Dulcy headed off to the Clothing Department with Rotor. But before they all went their separate ways, the guys all quickly winked at each other and gave each other the thumbs-up sign, reminding each other of their secret plan.

Sonic and Tails reluctantly followed Sally to the Shoe Department. Along the way, they passed by the Toy Department... which immediately set Tails off. “Cool, the Toy Department! I wanna look around, Aunt Sally! Please, please, please, can I, huh, huh, huh?” he begged, jumping up and down.

“No, Tails, we don’t have time right now!” Sally snapped. “Maybe later, okay? Now let’s go!”

Tails pouted. “No fair! I wanna stay and look around now!” He then spotted a toy he really liked, grabbed it, and ran over to Sally with it. “Aunt Sally, can I have this, huh? Can I, can I, can I?” he yelled excitedly.

“No, Tails! For one, it’s much too expensive! For another, you never play with the nice toys you already have! And besides, it’s just one of those cheap pieces of junk which break the moment you take it out of the box!” Sally snapped.

Tails started throwing a giant temper-tantrum. “No fair!! But I want it!” he screamed, lying on the floor and hitting his fists onto the floor and kicking his feet in the air. “I wa-a-ant it!” Several of the Wal-Mart employees, who were all ‘Bots, turned around to stare. “MA’AM, YOU-WILL-HAVE-TO-TAKE-YOUR-CHILD-OUTSIDE-IF-YOU-CANNOT-CONTROL-HIM,” one of the EmployeeBots droned.

“Tails, if you don’t stop acting like a spoiled little brat right this instant, I’m going to spank you in front of the whole store!” she threatened, even though the only ones who happened to be around were the EmployeeBots. “You’re embarrassing me! I told you, it’s a waste of money! We are leaving the Toy Department now, all right? Now get up, and I don’t want to hear another peep out of you about it, or I’ll take you into the washroom and-” (A/N: How many times have you seen this old scene in any department store? Heh, heh... I noticed it in Wal-Mart just the other day, as a matter of fact!)

Sally dragged the screaming Tails by his hand, away from the toys. Literally dragged him; he was still lying on the floor. They somehow finally made it to the Shoe Department...

In the Clothes Department, Dulcy was searching for the ‘Plus Sizes’. As she walked, she accidentally knocked over racks and racks of clothing with her long tail, as well as her huge bulking form. Naturally, she was completely oblivious to this, because she’s a bit of ditz. Squeazing her way through the racks of clothing, she finally found the ‘Plus Sizes’. Turning around, it was then that she observed the huge mess she made behind her. “Boy, the employees here sure don’t keep this place tidy!” she remarked. Grabbing a whole shitload of fatty clothing, she dashed into one of the dressing rooms to try them on.

“Rotor, how does this dress look on me? It doesn’t make my rear look too big, does it?” she asked, upon coming out of the dressing room. There suddenly was a loud riiiip! from behind her, but of course she didn’t even notice.

“Uh... well, actually, Dulcy...” Rotor began, but then he noticed wafts of smoke emitting from the dragon’s nostrils, and decided not to say what he really thought. “No, not at all!” he quickly lied. “You look great! Really, you do!”

Dulcy tried on everything else in the ‘Plus Sizes’, and decided to charge the whole lot. “Well, that was fun, wasn’t it, Rotor?” she said, as she dragged the walrus away by the tail.

“Uh... sure, Dulcy. I had a swell time,” Rotor gulped, thinking to himself how grateful he was that he didn’t go blind during that unsightly session of hell. “But, uh, do you really need all that stuff? I mean, it’s gonna come to a lot of money; besides, you normally don’t even wear clothing-”

Dulcy turned her head, and glared at Rotor. “Well, there’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?” she said, smoke wafting from her nostrils again. “Besides, can’t a girl even feel pretty around here? It’s called living, you know!”

Rotor decided to shut up. “Cool... uh, where to next, Dulcy?”

“Next stop- the tampon isle!!” Dulcy screamed, shooting off down towards her newest destination.

“NOOOO!!”

“Oh, please, Bunnie, can we please to be hurrying along now?” Antoine said nervously, wringing his hands. The stink of perfume was burning his nostrils like fire.

“Almost done, sugah,” Bunnie was saying, as she continued to spray an unnecessary amount of what they used to call “toilet water” all over herself. Than she covered herself all over with cheap, gaudy jewelry, and applied a ton of makeup to her face. “Well, sugah-twan, what do ya’ll think? Don’t I look pretty?” she asked, admiring herself in the mirror.

“Ah... Bunnie, please do not be taking zis ze wrong way,” Antoine nervously began, not mentioning that she looked like a friggin’ whore with all the junk and crap all over her face, save that her perfume was choking him to death, “but I am tinking you are already far too beautiful without all zat coloring and jewels and sewer water. I am tinking you are pretty just as you are.”

“Well, that’s sweet of ya’ll, sugar,” Bunnie said, “but don’t ya think I also look nice this way?” She said this in her usual sugar-sweet tone, but she tightly squeezed the perfume bottle she was holding in her robotic fist so that it shattered... just to make her point clear.

Antoine got the message. “Um... on ze other foot, I am also tinking zat you are also looking very lovely right now!” he stammered.

“Thanks, sugar,” Bunnie grinned. “Ya’ll say the sweetest ‘ol things!” She turned back to her reflection in the mirror. “Oh, mah stars... I feel like such a queen right about now!”

Meanwhile, Sonic, Tails, and Sally were in the Shoe Department. “Come on, Sal’, we’ve been here for a whole half-hour already! Let’s put the ‘ol pedal to the metal! I’m starvin’!”

“Sonic, do you mind?” Sally snapped, as she was browsing the shelves.

“Not very well. Dogs mind... not hedgehogs.”

“Well, show a little patience!”

Sonic scowled. “Hey, hey, hey,” he said, “patients are for hospitals! We’re near McD’ Country, and that makes me hungry!”

“I’m hungry too,” Tails whined, pouting. “When are we going to McDonalds for lunch?”

“We’ll eat soon enough, you two, but right now I have to find a decent pair of shoes to match this dress I’m going to buy!” Sally snapped. She furiously yanked down box after box of shoes, frantically searching for a pair in her size. “Damnit! Don’t they have anything in my size?! ARRGHH!” She angrily knocked the whole row of boxes off the shelf, screaming like a banshee. She kicked the boxes on the floor like Soccer balls, sending them flying across the isle. She swore, and jumped up and down on the boxes, stomping them flat with all her might. She ripped and tore the cardboard boxes to shit, stuffed the pieces in her mouth, and swallowed.

“Whoa, chill, Sal’!” Sonic cried. “It’s cool! It’s just the ‘ol PMS acting up again! Besides, you’ve already found tons of shoes that you like! What’s the big deal about gettin’ another pair?”

Sally turned to Sonic with a crazed look in her eyes, foaming at the mouth. From her mouth stuck out a piece of cardboard. “You just don’t understand, do you, Sonic Hedgehog?” she snarled. “I said, I want to find a particular pair of shoes to match a particular dress I’m going to buy!”

A Wal-Mart EmployeeBot came over to see what all the noise was about. “MA’AM, IF-YOU-CANNOT-CONTROL-YOURSELF-I-AM-AFRAID-I-WILL-HAVE-TO-ASK-YOU-TO-LEAVE,” it droned.

“Excuse me, do you have Ladies’-Size 4?” Sally asked the employee, as sweet as you please.

“I-AM-SORRY, BUT-WE-DO-NOT-CARRY-ANYTHING-THAT-SMALL-IN-STOCK.”

Sally started to froth at the mouth again...

Two minutes later, the EmployeeBot lay in a dismantled heap all over the floor. “THANK-YOU...FOR...SHOPPING...AT...MART-WAL... HAVE... A ... NICE... Sizzle... DAY...” the scrapped ‘Bot droned before it’s circuits shorted out for good.

Tails cowered behind Sonic. “Aunt Sally’s scaring me, Sonic.”

“Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, little buddy,” Sonic replied, blinking.

Sally turned to the boys with a smile most pleasant, like nothing even happened. “Well,” she grinned, after laughing nervously, “shall we head on down to Clothing now?”

After the three groups rotated isles, they all finally met up for lunch at McDonalds... two hours later.

“What’d ya mean ya don’t have chili dogs, bud?” Sonic was complaining to the McBot behind the counter. “Man, what kind of a lousy joint is this?”

Rotor walked up to Sonic. “Er, Sonic, now would be a good time to put our little plan into action...”

Sonic grinned. “Right, Rote. The Hedgehog’s got a plan!” After tossing a knowing thumbs-up sign to Antoine and Tails, he quickly said to Sally and the girls, “Hey, girls, before we break for lunch, why don’t you three go freshen up first? After all, shopping can be mondo stressful work. Me and the guys’ll keep an eye on your purses and stuff for ya!” he offered.

“Good idea, Sonic,” Sally smiled. She turned to Bunnie and Dulcy. “Come, girls, let’s go powder our noses!” They went into the nearest Women’s Room.

“Okay, guys, now’s our chance! Let’s do it to it!” Sonic and co. quickly rummaged through their purses for their wallets. They grabbed their wallets, removed all their money and credit cards, hid them, (though I dunno where they would hide them, since none of them have pockets or anything- ah well, it’s a cartoon!) and replaced their wallets back into the purses before the girls came back.

Sonic slapped his pals high-fives. “Past cool! Now the girls won’t be able to buy anything!”

“Hooray!” the table cheered.

Just than, the girls returned from the washroom. “Well, we’re back,” Sally said. “Now let’s eat!”

So they all ordered. During this whole time they were eating, the girls never even looked in their wallets, fortunately for the boys.

Rotor suddenly passed a note on a napkin across the table to Sonic, which read, “What’ll we say when the girls realize their money and credit cards are missing?”

Sonic groaned and slapped his forehead. “Oh, man...”

Just then, the entire table could hear loud, horrible, off-key singing coming from somewhere in the store. The voice sounded very familar, somehow...

“What in the heck is that?” cried Bunnie, covering her ears.

“Oh, my poor ears; zey cannot be taking such agony!” Antoine cried, holding his own ears.

Sonic leaped to his feet. “I say we check it out, guys! Otherwise, we’ll never be albe to finish our meal in peace! Let’s juice!”

Sally took out her trusty computer, NICOLE. “NICOLE, locate the precise whereabouts of that singing in the store!” she ordered.

“Searching, Sally...” NICOLE droned. “Target of voice located in store... according to my sensors, it appears to be coming directly above this floor.”

“Come on!” Sally sighed. “We may as well check this out...”

Antoine looked sad. “But, my preenzess, I am still ‘ungry...”

“Can it, Tony!” Dulcy snapped.

“ARRGGHH!” the gang screamed in shock at what they saw when they reached the top floor. They had followed the singing all the way to the Lingerie isle... and saw when they got there, lo and behold, there was none other than Dr. Robotnik himself standing in the isle, wearing black Jumbo-sized pantyhose and a black Jumbo-sized bra!

“Oh, man!” Sonic cried, feeling sick. “I think I’m gonna chunk my lunch!”

“I’m gonna spew!” Tails cried, turning green.

Antoine fainted.

Rotor covered his eyes and groaned.

The girls all screamed.

Robotnik didn’t even notice them. He just picked up a Jumbo-sized purple pair of underwear, and started to sing away in his horrible voice, all the while dancing and twirling about the isle:

“Purple bloomers, purple bloomers, oh how I love you so...

“Purple bloomers, oh, purple bloomers, I’ll never, never let you go...”

“Yo, ‘Buttnik, this is a kid’s show! Ya wanna cover up?!” Sonic cried. “There’s kids in the audience watching this episode this Saturday morning, even as we speak, ya know! You tryin’ get us cancelled, or what?” He shook his head. “Man, I don’t think this was even in the script! Somehow, I doubt Ben Hurst or Pat Alle wrote this episode! I’ll bet it’s that dirtbag, Ken Penders, who’s behind this!”

Robotnik danced from the Lingerie isle, right into the Bath isle. He picked up a packet of rose-scented bath-salts from a shelf, deeply inhaled the shit, and, like a cat high on catnip, started to feel very lightheaded and merry indeed. With a big doped-up grin, he then began to dance, leap, and perform several pirouettes all throughout the isle.

“Oh, baby, where have you been all my life?!” he cried, as he proceded to load his shopping-cart up with various bottles of shampoo, body wash, and scented soaps. He picked up a bottle of Herbal Essence shampoo, and began to sing the Herbal Essence song. “I’ve got the urrrge...”

Suddenly, a huge scream from the girls interrupted Robotnik’s little number, right when a group of ‘Bots were in the middle of singing and washing his bald scalp. “All our money and credit cards... they’re all gone!!” Sally screamed in horror. She, along with Dulcy and Bunnie, began to froth at the mouth. “Who... is... responsible... for this?” she hissed in a demonic tone, eyes blood-red, her head spinning slowly all around her body.

Sonic grinned. “Guys,” he said to Tails, Rotor, and Antoine, “I think I see a way out of our little problem. Just follow my lead...” He suddenly pointed to Robotnik. “It was Robotnik, girls! He stole all your dough and credit cards! Let’s get ‘im!”

Well, hell hath no furry like a woman scorned, and so even Robotnik and his ‘Bots were no match for these three enraged females suffering from PMS and Menopause...

Meanwhile, Snively was still waiting alone in the hovercraft, parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot. He was extremely bored out of his mind, and so was making up stupid songs to pass away the time.

“There was a little Spanish flea,” he sang along to the music playing on the radio, “a record star he thought he’d be. He’d heard of singers like Beatles, and the Chipmunks he’d seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea? So he hid inside a dog...” (Remember that episode of The Simpsons?) He was so caught up in singing and munching on a bag of potato chips that he failed to notice the scene up on the monitors- the Wal-Mart building going up in flames like a blazing inferno, while teams of SWATBots both rushed inside the store and fled from the store for their lives.

Suddenly, the door to the hovercraf opened, and Robotnik quickly piled in... still in his scary attire, by the way “For the love of God, get me the hell out of here, Snively! NOW! HURRY!”

The confused Snively blinked, not so much at his uncle’s sudden strange demand, but at his lingerie-clad self. “Uh... s-sir... this probably is not the best time to inquire, but-”

“NOW, DAMNIT!!” Robotnik roared.

With a startled little shriek, Snively quickly started up the engine of the hovercraft, and it took off. Out of the parking lot. Once they were safely up in the air, a good distance away from Wal-Mart, Snively asked his uncle what on Mobius happened back there... not to mention why he was clad in women’s undergarments.

But just then, before Robotnik could wack his nephew upside the head, they noticed up on the monitors Dulcy- with the Freedom Fighters on her back- flying at great speed towards their hover unit. The angry dragon took a deep breath, and blasted their hover unit with an icy blow, freezing it solid in mid-air. The frozen hover craft plummeted towards the earth like a bomb, all the ice shattering away to peices from the great impact of it hitting the ground.

“What happened back there, you ask, Snively?” Robotnik said through gritted teeth. Their hover unit now lay a broken wreak. Good thing they were both wearing their seat belts! “Well, let it suffice for me to simply say this- hell hath no furry like a woman scorned! You would do well to remember that all the rest of your life!” he gulped, as the metal fist of Bunnie Rabbot suddenly punched a hole through the side of their hover craft.

“With all due respect, sir, that still doesn’t explain why you’re clad in women’s undergarments...” Snively began.

“Zip it, Snively!”

THE END!

This fic is dedicated to A. Fleury! ;)

Please review, people! Sobs My low self-esteem craves it...

This has been a Shychick Production!