Disclaimer- I own nothing related to “Sonic the Hedgehog.” AND YOU KNOW IT!!
Author’s Note: This fic is kinda of a cross between funny and sad. I got the idea for this fic from one of my favorite episodes of “Dexter’s Laboratory”. Well, anyway, enjoy!
It was a day like any other day. The Hedgehog had recently broken into the base for the millionth time, and as usual, had completely destroyed another army of SWATBots.
Snively saw this take place on the moniters. “Sir, more SWATBots are down, on account of the Hedgehog!” he cried to Robotnik.
Robotnik growled angrily. “Blast! And just where is that rotten rodent now, Snively?” he asked his nephew.
“Er, I’m afraid I’ve just lost sight of him, sir,” Snively said nervously.
“WHAT?” Robotnik roared, causing his tiny nephew to tremble in fear. “How could you have lost him, you little wretch? You were to supposed to be watching the moniters!”
“But sir, I was watching them!” Snively cried. “You saw that I was! I-I merely took my eyes off the screen for a second!”
“WHICH IS EXACTLY HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR THAT MISSERABLE CREATURE TO MAKE HIS GET-AWAY, YOU IMBECELE!!” Robotnik screamed. He glared at his tiny kin, who was cowering down on the floor, whimpering. “I grow so weary of your incompetence, Snively,” he said in a dangerously-low tone. He walked over to the terrified little man and grabbed him up by his shirt collar. “Now go make yourself useful and get to work on repairing those SWATBots, you useless little maggot!” He threw him roughly to the ground.
“Yes, sir,” Snively said meekly. He muttered under his breath, “Oh, you’ll get yours one of these days, you fat old tub of lard.”
“What was that, Snively?” Robotnik snapped.
Snively gulped. “Er, I said repairing those SWATBots shouldn’t be too hard, sir!” He quickly scurried out of the room before his uncle could question his strange reply.
Snively stood before the smashed heap of SWATBots and inspected the damage. “Hmm, the Hedgehog really did a number on these units,” he said to himself. He suddenly grinned. “Oh well, nothing my little friend can’t make short work of!” After a quick glance behind him, he gave a summoning whistle. “Oh, Zinny!” he called. “Here, boy!”
A small red termite came hopping along towards Snively. Snively kneeled down and held out his hand, and the termite jumped eagerly into his palm. “Hello there, Zinny,” he said, gently petting the insect with his fingertip. “Are you hungry, my pet?”
The red termite nodded and made little chirping sounds, which Snively could perfectly understand. “Excellent,” he said. “I have a nice little snack just for you, Zinny.” He gestured towards the heap of SWATBots. “Enjoy!”
Zinny happily dove onto the pile of ‘Bots and, in only mere seconds, devoured the entire heap. When he was finished, he gave a tiny little belch and licked his chops.
“That’s a good boy, Zinny,” Snively said, as the termite jumped back into his hand. “Are you full?”
Zinny nodded.
“Good,” Snively smiled, affectionately stroking him with his fingertip. Zinny leaped happily onto his master’s face and licked his cheek. “Hey, stop that, you little rascal,” Snively laughed, “it tickles!”
Now, you’re probably wondering just who this strange termite, Zinny, is. Well, Snively discovered Zinny a few months ago, during one of his days patrolling the streets of Robotropolis. The little termite had attached itself to Snively’s shoulder and would not leave, no matter how hard he tried to shoo it away. But when he looked closer, he noticed, much to his surprise, that this termite was no ordinary termite, for it was red, where most termites are either green or white. Fascinated by his new discovery, Snively hurried away to the base with the little creature to do some research on it. According to the information he managed located on the computer, this was an extremely rare breed of termite, which was on the brink of extinction. Apparently, Zinny was the last remaining termite of his kind. Snively also discovered that this particular breed of termite thrived upon not wood, but metal! Snively decided to keep the termite, for he knew that it would come in handy and save him a lot of work and trouble whenever the Hedgehog would come along and destroy their ‘Bots and machines. He named him Zinny. And from that day on, Snively became very attached to his new little pet. Zinny and Snively loved each other very much. And Zinny was very loyal to his master and friend. Now Snively never told his uncle about Zinny because he knew that he would only want to keep such a rare and unusual specimen for himself. Besides, Robotnik had a pet- Cluck, that stupid robotic chicken- so why shouldn’t Snively have one for himself?
Anyway, back to the present. Snively gave Zinny a final pat and gently put him down. “Well, I have to go view the surveillance monitors now, Zinny. I’ll see you later.” As he turned to walk away, Zinny made sad little chirping sounds. “Oh, come now, Zinny,” Snively said gently. “You know you can’t come with me because if Robotnik were to find out about you, he’d only want to experiment on you. And I don’t ever want that cretin to harm you, Zinny. So I’m afraid you have to return to my room now, okay?”
Zinny looked sadly up his friend and master, teary-eyed, pupils enlarged. “Oh, Zinny, please don’t look at me that way…” Snively said, as he got the same sad puppy-dog look on his face. He sniffled. “Oh, all right. You can stay in my pocket.”
Later in the day, Snively was busy typing up a damage report in the control room. Robotnik wasn’t there at the moment, he was down in his lab, much to Snively’s relief. He decided to take Zinny out of his pocket for a little while. “There you go, Zinny,” he said as he took Zinny out. “The fat oaf isn’t here right now, so it’s safe for you to come out.” He continued to type away.
Zinny watched his master work. Than, after a few minutes, he started to chirp up at him for attention.
“Sorry, Zinny, but I can’t play right now. I’ve got to finish this report, or the Big Round Guy will have my head.”
Zinny continued to whine away. “Zinny, I told you, I’m busy!” Snively said impatiently. “Now, please…”
Zinny hopped away, and returned a minute later with a tiny red ball in his mouth. Snively shook his head and sighed. “No, Zinny, not now!” he snapped. Zinny whimpered and hopped away again, this time returning with a tiny collar and leash around his neck. He glanced up at Snively hopefully.
“Zinny, how many times must I tell you?” Snively said firmly. “I’m busy right now! And it’s no use trying that look on me, because it won’t work this time, I’m afraid!” he added, upon seeing Zinny’s sad puppy-dog expression.
“Snively!” Robotnik’s voice rang out over the intercom. “Report to my lab at once!”
Snively sighed. “Interruptions, interruptions…” he muttered under his breath, as he turned to leave the control room. Zinny started to follow him, chirping away.
“No, Zinny, I have to go!” Snively snapped. He frowned. “When I return, we’re going to have a little talk about your attitude.” The doors closed, leaving the little termite all alone.
Zinny whimpered sadly at the door, hoping that Snively would come back for him. His master didn’t know this about him, but whenever his breed became sad or lonely, they would express it by consuming an incredible amount until they felt happy again. Just than, he glanced around and noticed for the first time just how much metal there was in the control room…
Snively returned to the control room, and stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw. Zinny had practically eaten the entire place! “ZINNYYYY!!” he screamed angrily. Zinny looked up guiltily at his master.
“Why, Zinny, why?” Snively cried. “What have I done to deserve this? Don’t I feed you well enough? Don’t I give you lots of love and attention? I take such good care of you… AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!” He let out an angry yell, causing the little termite to cower in fear. “NO RESPECT! I GET NO RESPECT AND APPRECIATION FROM ANYONE AROUND THIS PLACE! NOT FROM YOU OR THE BIG ROUND GUY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE I’LL BE IN FOR THIS MESS?! HUH?!” The terrified little termite yelped and scampered out of the control room.
“AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU NEVER COME BACK!” Snively bellowed after him.
Zinny felt terrible. Snively had never yelled at him before. Now he thought that he didn’t love him anymore. He didn’t know what he was going to do now.
He crawled down the halls. Suddenly, his nose caught the distinct scent of his one true source of food- metal. It seemed to be coming from everywhere! (‘Cause you know how almost everything in that place is made of metal.) And because Zinny was feeling unhappy, eating was the only thing he could do. So he went off in search of more metal…
Meanwhile, back in the control room, Snively was feeling pretty terrible himself. He felt so guilty for how he had treated Zinny. He hadn’t meant to scream at him like that. But he just couldn’t seem to control himself, once he saw all that damage. “Poor little fellow… he’ll probably never come back to me now, not after the way I treated him,” Snively said sadly. He decided to do a quick research on Zinny’s breed again. Maybe there was something he had missed. If he could just figure out what had caused his beloved termite to consume everything out of control like that, maybe it would help him to better understand him. “Computer, scan for any information on behavior and characteristics of the Red Termite,” he ordered the computer.
“Scanning…” the computer droned. Than after a few seconds of searching, an image of a Red Termite appeared on the screen. “The Red Termite is usually a gentle, happy creature. However, when it becomes unhappy, it will instinctively begin to consume all the metal it can find at an alarming rate, regardless of whether it is hungry or not,” the computer droned. “It will not stop eating until it resumes it’s normal feeling of happiness.”
“Mother of Mobius!” Snively cried. “This is terrible! He’ll consume the entire place in no time at all! I’ve got to find him!” He gasped, as he suddenly realized something. “Before Robotnik does! He’ll surely have Zinny destroyed!” He ran out of the control room, and raced down the hall, in search of his precious pet. “Zinny!” he called. “Here, Zinny!” He whistled and made those little kissy sounds one usually makes whenever calling a lost pet. “Come to Daddy, Zinny!”
Suddenly, the faint sound of whimpering could be heard just below his feet. Snively glanced down, and much to his horror, saw a nearly-squished Zinny lying there, barely alive. “NO! Zinny!” he cried, as he kneeled down and cupped the dying termite in his hands. “Zinny, I’m so sorry!” he cried. “I didn’t realize that feeling sad or lonely causes you to go on eating spree. I never would have yelled at you like that if I had known. Oh, Zinny, can you ever forgive me?” he sobbed. Zinny made some tiny chirping sounds. “Oh, Zinny, what happened to you?” Snively cried. “Who did this to you?” Zinny made some more weak chirping sounds. “You say Robotnik found you and squished you? Because you were eating everything metal in sight?” Zinny nodded.
“Zinny, this is all because of me! If only I hadn’t neglected you… than this never would have happened! I’m so sorry!” Snively sobbed. “Oh, Zinny, please hold on. Don’t die on me. If you died, I don’t know what I would do. I would be all alone again. You’re the only one I have, Zinny. You’re my only friend in the world. Oh, please hang on…”
Zinny gave Snively a final lick on the cheek. Than he went became completely still in Snively’s hands. Snively knew he was dead.
“Zinny, no,” Snively cried. Tears leaked from his blue eyes and landed in his hands, onto the little termite. “NOOOO!!” He sobbed his eyes out. “No, no, no, no… oh, Zinny… my one true friend…”
Just than, a huge shadow appeared behind him. Snively gasped between his tears and looked up to see his uncle standing before him. “You were hiding that wretched creature from me all along, weren’t you?” he growled. Snively was crying too hard to answer. “WEREN’T YOU?!” He grabbed his little nephew by the throat.
“Y-y-yes, sir,” Snively sobbed.
“Do you have any idea how much damage that thing caused?” Robotnik shouted, shaking Snively. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KEEP SOMETHING FROM ME, YOU LITTLE SNEEK! HOW DARE YOU!!”
Snively cried out, “I never told you about him because I knew you would just subject him to your awful experiments, or even roboticise him! How could you, sir? How could you do this?! Zinny was my pet… he was my friend! His damage is entirely my fault! I’m the one you should squish to a bloody pulp, not him! He didn’t know any better! You’re a murderer, sir, a murderer!” Snively resumed his sobbing.
“Zinny… my, my, how quaint,” Robotnik smirked. He smashed Snively to the ground and kicked him hard in the stomach. “If you ever keep anything like this from me again- ANYTHING,” he said, kicking him again, “I’ll have you roboticised or maybe even killed altogether.” After kicking him one last time for good measure, he turned to walk away. “Oh, and Snively, I expect you to repair all of the damage your little “pet” caused,” he snapped before heading down to the control room.
Snively picked up Zinny in his hands. “I promise you, Zinny… I will find a way to revive you. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But someday… I swear, old friend…” he vowed between his tears.
The End
So what did you guys think? Quite a different turn from my other Humor fics, hey? Hope you had enough tissues while reading this! You think I should make a sequel?