Disclaimer- Blah, blah, blah, yakity-shmackity... as the dad in the cartoon series, Tazmania used to say.

It was another wretched day in the life of Dr. Robotnik’s lackey/nephew, Snively. Today, our little friend was miserably out patrolling the city streets, as he did every Thursday morning. Humming a little, just to keep his spirits up, he walked down the street, his keen eyes taking in everything around him. Yes, sir, Snively had eyes like a hawk. And in the opinion of this Snivvyshiper, he’s got the cutest blue eyes in the history of cartoons! Squeals, and grabs Snively out of the story and hugs him to me.

Snively: Annoyed Come now, missy, you’ve barely even begun today’s fanfic! Save it for your little Author’s Note at the very end! Now, kindly put me back in the story.

Shychick: Sorry, Sniv’. Shoves him back into the story

Now where was I? Oh yes, I was telling you that Snively was out patroling the streets of Robotropolis. Well, it was a day like any other day, except that on this particular day he was going to have a most strange encounter... a most regretful encounter, to be more precise.

“Mmm-hmm,” Snively was saying to himself. “So far, so good. Things appear to be running most smoothly in the city this morning. Dr. Robotnik will be pleased.” Taking out his pen from behind his ear and notebook from his pocket, he jotted all this down. “Excellent. Now, on to the SWATBot factories.”

Snively entered the factory and began inspecting the current efficiency of how things were running, like SWATBot production and things like that. He would stand in front of the conveyor belt, and jot down everything that he saw. “Okay, all right, yes, good... yes indeed, it would appear that things are running as smooth as clockwork today. Robotnik likes efficiency, so he will be most pleased with today’s report.” After inspecting all the other factories, he then went on to inspect the WorkerBots.

Just then, a SWATBot suddenly approached Snively. “SIR, WE HAVE JUST SPOTTED AN ORGANIC LIFEFORM,” it reported.

“Is that so?” Snively asked, frowning. “Was it a Freedom Fighter?” he demanded.

“WE ARE NOT SURE. IT WAS VERY SMALL AND QUICK, HOWEVER.”

Snively exhaled impatiently. “Well, where did this intruder go?”

“IT RAN INTO FACTORY #3 A MOMENT AGO, SIR. WE LOST TRACK OF IT.”

Snively groaned. “Oh, bloody great,” he sighed. “And just when things were going so perfect today! Well, I just hope I can capture the intruder before the Big Round Guy finds out, or he’ll have my head on a silver platter!” He hurried into the factory, laser pistol in hand. “All right, intruder, show yourself at once, otherwise I’ll be forced to use force! You have until the count of 3 to rveal yourself to me before I open fire- 1... 2...”

“Mrrow!” came the ound from below him. Snively glanced down, and much to his surprise, saw a small ginger-colored kitten sitting at his feet. The kitten suddenly started to affectionately rub up against his leg, purring like a little motor-boat.

“What the- ooohh!” Snively sighed in both relief and frustration. “So it was merely some stray alley-cat after all! Well, no matter.” He impatiently tried to shoo it away. “Shoo, you mangy, flea-bitten feline! You’re shedding hairs all over my pants, and I don’t even want to think about where you’ve been! Ugh!” He turned to walk away. “How disgusting,” he muttered. “Now my uniform is covered in dirty cat hairs!” He then heard another “Mrrow!” He turned around, and saw that the kitten was, for some reason, following him. “Will you kindly get lost?” he snapped. “Shoo! Begone now!” But with every step he took, the kitten trotted close behind.

Snively growled impatiently. “I simply don’t have time for the likes of you, cat! Would you remove your worm-ridden self from the premisis before I call for backup? It’s not as if I have food in my pockets, or anything! SHOO!” Snively made a lunging motion at the kitten, hoping to frighten it away, but it merely meowed happily and leaped into Snively’s arms, rubbing it’s little head affectionately against his chest and purring away.

“Now, see here!” Snively cried. “What is the meaning of this? Get off me at once, you little parasite! You’re shedding your disgusting hairs all over my uniform! UGH! Gross!” He didn’t want to touch the cat with his hands, so he shook himself widly, hoping to lose this little pest. But the kitten didn’t fall or jump off; it clung firmly on, using it’s claws to get a good grip on Snively’s shirt. “OUCH! THAT HURTS, YOU CONFOUNDED LITTLE FLEA-BAG! LET GO! YOU’RE GOING TO TEAR MY SHIRT!”

The kitten meowed sadly, as if appologizing for accidentally hurting him. Then it reached up and started to affectionately lick Snively face, it’s rough little pink tongue flicking in/out of it’s little mouth. “Ohhh, the unsanitation of it all!” Snively moaned, grimacing. “I shudder to think where your mouth has been lately- probably eating garbage, rats, mice, insects, and goodness knows what else! I’ll more than likely catch a disease now- heyyy, okay, now cut that out! It tickles!” he cried, laughing. “Come on, really now, I’m serious! No more of thi-i-isss!” He took a deep breath, grabbed hold of the kitten, and placed it down on the ground. “No more nonsense now! Good bye, and good riddance!”

Shuddering at the memory of touching the thing, Snively turned to leave the factory... but was stopped dead in his tracks by the poor kitten’s cries. He turned to look at it. “Oh, none of that now! I’m on to your little game, and I refuse to fall for it. Take your little “pity poor me” self out of here!” But then he noticed for the first time just how thin and miserable the poor thing actually looked, as if it hadn’t eaten in days. It also was shivering, as if it was freezing.

Snively moaned as he felt his heart melt to mush. “Oh, well, perhaps I was a tad too hard on the poor creature. It must be lost... alone... cold... hungry. Poor thing, I’ll bet it hasn’t once had a decent meal in it’s miserable life. But... but I can’t take care of it. Robotnik would never tolerate some stray animal around the base. Well... perhaps I could hide it from him- just for a day- feed it, give it a bath, a saucer of cream, a warm spot to sleep tonight... just for twenty-four hours. It may not be much, but it’s all I can do for it. I’m going to be risking my neck for that cat as it is, so keeping it on a permanent basis would certainly be out of the question. It’s a shame though... poor thing, it really does need a good home where it can have all the love, food, milk, and attention it’s little heat desires. But sadly, I’m simply not the owner it needs.” He sighed, knelt down, and motioned for the kitten to come. “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,” he called in a gentle tone. “Come to Snively, there’s a good little kitten. I won’t hurt you, don’t be afraid.”

In a flash, the kitten perked up and dashed forward towards Snively. Snively gently pet it’s fur. “Well, my little friend, it looks like you’re going to be my temporary guest for tonight. A warm meal, saucer of cream, warm place to sleep... how does that sound?” The kitten responded by pouncing into his arms, licking his face, and nuzzling his face with it’s wet little pink nose, purring happily.

“Um, yes, yes, that’s quite all right; you’re quite welcome, I’m sure,” Snively said a little uneasily, as he wasn’t too keen on the stray cat touching him, especially his face. “Now just don’t get too comfortable, kitty, it’s only temporary!” he said firmly. Holding the kitten close to him, he walked out of the factory, saying, “The first thing I’m going to do with you, little one, is give you a bath... right after I have one myself. Though you can’t really be blamed for your unfortunate condition, now can you?” Good heavens, I hope I’m not becoming soft! he thought to himself.

Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks as he realized something. “Uh-oh... how am I going to sneek you up into my bedroom without Robotnik seeing you? Hmm... well, I suppose I’ll just have to pray that I don’t run into the old slime-bag on the way...”

They made it safe and sound up to Snively’s room. “All right now, time for your bath,” he said, carrying the kitten into his washroom. He filled the bathtub with warm water and soap, and gently lowered the trembling, mewing kitten into it. “Now come on, it’s for your own good, you know,” Snively said firmly as the kitten tightly clung onto his shirt in fear. He tryed to pry it off him, but it was no use...

A few seconds later, Snively had to chase the cat around his whole room, accidentally knocking things over in his attempt to catch it, yelling in frustration the entire time. In the end, Snively finally did manage to give the kitten it’s bath, but not without accidentally falling into the tub of water during the big chase, as well as getting his hands and face horribly scratched up. “S-s-s-see? Now that wasn’t so bad, now was it?” he growled through gritted teeth. The wet ball of fur responded by shaking it’s soaked fur, flinging drops all over Snively’s face.

After a towel-drying and a blow-drying, Snively said, “Well now, you’re all clean; and I must admit, you look much better. And don’t you feel better too?” Suddenly, his eyes widened in horror as he realized that he had managed to turn the kitten into one big puffy ball of fluff, as a result of the blow-drying session. He sighed. “Oh, dear...”

“Now here’s a nice saucer of warm cream and a dish of tuna,” Snively was saying, laying the dishes down onto a pile of old newspapers. “I have to go back to work now, but I’ll be back to check on you during my next break.”

The kitten mewed up at him, begging him to stay. “Don’t be absurd, you foolish animal! The Big Round Guy would use my head for his paperweight. Now, you be a good boy and don’t make any trouble until I return, is that clear?”

At the word “Boy”, the kitten meowed in confusion.

“Er... hmm, I wonder...” Snively said, curious as to what gender it really was. He took a quick peek under the kitten. “Very well then, I stand corrected. Be a good girl and don’t make no trouble or noise until I return later.” He left the room, the automatic doors sliding shut behind him.

The kitten sat mewing at the doors, bored. That is, until it spotted Snively’s beloved teddy bear, “Shnookums” sitting on his bed...

“Snively, where on Mobius have you been?” Robotnik snapped as his nephew entered the Control Room. “Where is your status report for today?”

Snively handed Robotnik a sheet of paper. “Here it is, sir. Forgive my lack of puncuality this morning, but I’ve just been having a most difficult time,” he said, hoping Robotnik would just leave it at that.

“Very well then. Now that you’re finally here, I believe the surveillance monitors crave your undivided attention,” the fat tyrant said, pointing to the monitors.

“Yes, sir,” Snively said, walking over to his usual position. He muttered under his breath, “I’d like to see you get off your overgrown backside, and watch the blasted monitors, for once...”

“Did you say something, Snively?”

Snively gulped. “Er, I said perhaps today we’ll finally capture that blasted Hedgehog for once, Dr. Robotnik!” he laughed nervously.

“Let us hope...” Robotnik said that creepy voice of his, sending shivers down his little lackey’s spine. All of a sudden, Robotnik let out a great sneeze.

“Er, are you coming down with something, sir?” Snively asked, thinking how great that would be.

“Don’t be absurd, you little idiot! Have you ever known me to have fallen ill?” Robotnik snapped, then he sneezed loudly again... and again... and again... and again. “Gah! What is happening to me? I can’t stop sneezing, my eyes feel watery, and I feel terribly stuffed up- AAACHOO!” he cried, the force of this sneeze so great that it sent the little man flying smack into the wall in his chair.

“Er, w-well, there is a first time for everything, sir, if I may be permitted to say so...” Snively said slowly.

“Fool! I never become sick! And my one-and-only allergy is strictly to cats, so how on Mobius could-” Suddenly, his eyes narrowed as he started sniffing the air suspiciously. “Hmm... that’s strange... why do I smell cat?”

Snively gulped as he remembered his uncle’s allergy to cats, and that he had forgotten to take a shower and change his cat hair-ridden uniform. “Er, yes indeed, sir, that certainly is strange,” he said with a nervous laugh as he began sweating. “Why, there’s n-no c-cats around h-here, of course!”

“I absoutely depise, detest, and loath cats- nasty, filthy animals!” Robotnik said, shuddering.

“Oh, yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir!” Snively said quickly. “Disgusting creatures, really! Good-for-nothing, flea-ridden nuisances, I say! If there’s one creature I hate more than hedgehogs, it’s cats!”

Suddenly Robotnik’s eyes narrowed. “Snively... come here.”

Snively never failed to shudder at those words. So many times had those words brought him beatings by Robotnik’s fists. Only this time, he was more concerned with Robotnik connecting the smell of cat to his uniform and hands...and then he would be in for it. “S-s-s-s-sir?” he nervously asked, slowly walking over to his uncle’s side. As soon as he came within a foot’s range of Robotnik, the fat tyrant let out an enormous sneeze. “Er... bless you, sir. Tissue?” Snively asked nervously. Suddenly he was grabbed up by Robotnik and closely inspected with a magnifying glass. “AHA! I KNEW IT! CAT HAIRS! FILTHY, VILE CAT HAIRS ALL OVER YOU! NO WONDER!” He roughly dropped his nephew to the hard ground. “Well?” he asked, waiting for an explanation.

“Er, I can explain, sir!” Snively exclaimed, quickly leaping to his feet. “You see, I had an encounter with this alley-cat during my morning shift, which also explains the scratches on my face and hands...”

Robotnik’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so?”

A few seconds later, the doors to the Control Room whizzed open, and Snively went flying out. “OUT! AND DON’T RETURN UNTIL AFTER YOU’VE TAKEN A SHOWER!!” he heard Robotnik scream from inside.

Later that evening, Snively’shift had finally come to an end. Yawning, he made his way down to his bedroom, hoping that the kitten had not gotten up to any mischief. He entered his room... only to see... much to his horror...

Shnookums, his teddy bear, ripped to shreds, along with his pillow. Fluff and feathers were flying all over the place. The kitten had just begun work on his quilt, when Snively’s horrified scream startled her. “ARRRGGH! NOOO!” He stormed over to the kitten, who coughed up a piece of fluff from Shnookums. “Shnookums... my pillow... LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, YOU UNGRATEFUL CREATURE! I TAKE YOU IN OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF MY OWN HEART, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!” He grabbed the kitten by the scruff of it’s neck. “Naughty kitty! Naughty girl!” he yelled.

The kitten responsed by giving a sad little mew, as if appologizing, and licked him on his nose. “Oh, no! Don’t try to butter me up! Not this time, missy!” Snively snapped. “I’ve a good mind to toss you back out into the street and let you starve to death, for all I care!” But the kitten only continued to mew away, looking up at Snively with sad little green eyes, giving him little kitty-kisses. Then she started to rub her soft little head up against his face, rubbing her wet little pink nose against him, purring.

Snively sighed, and gently held the purring kitten against him, letting her rest her head against his shoulder. “Oh, maybe it wasn’t all your fault, kitty. You’re just a kitten, you don’t know any better... Besides, I should’ve had the foresight to leave you a ball of yarn, or something, to amuse yourself with. Poor thing, you simply must’ve been bored...”

After getting into his pyjamas and brushing his teeth, Snively crawled into bed. Immediately, the kitten leaped up onto the bed beside him. “No, no, kitty, not on my bed. I refuse to have my bed filled with your blasted hairs! You will sleep on the floor, and that’s final,” he said firmly, pointing to a wool blanket next to the pile of newpapers. “It’s perfectly comfortable! Now, off you go! Off!”

But the kitten merely cuddled up to Snively and started to purr. “Stop it,” Snively whimpered. “Please... I’m not made of stone... oh very well, you win! I suppose it won’t hurt, since it’s just for tonight...” Sighing, he lay down and closed his eyes. The kitten mewed, gave Snively a little good-night kiss, and crawled under the covers next to him. The kitten curled up next to Snively and began contently purring as she drifted off to sleep.

Snively smiled. “Cute cat... it’s a shame I’ll have to let her go tomorrow morning. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m really starting to become attached to the thing...” Sighing, he gave the kitten a pet and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, when Snively started his early shift of patroling the city streets, he took the kitten with him. Taking her as far as the city limits, he set her down, and said “Well, my friend, I’m afraid this is it. You and I must go our separate ways now. I wish you the best of luck.” He knelt down to pet her. “You know,” he said, “you really are a sweet little thing. As much as I hate to admit it, I almost wish you were my pet. But now, the time has come for us to part. Good-bye and good luck.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a few strips of bacon that had been left over from his breakfast, unwrapped them, and gave them to her. Then he quickly turned and walked away, regretfully ignoring the kitten’s confused, lonely cries, echoing in his ears. Refusing to look back, he swallowed back a lump that had formed in his throat. He had grown rather fond of her indeed.

He sighed sadly, with a shrug. “Oh, well.”

By the time Snively had got back to the main gate, after his shift had ended, he was just about to enter the base, when all of a sudden he heard a familar meow from behind him. “Oh, no... don’t tell me...” He turned around, only to see the kitten standing there... accompanied by a whole flock of other alley cats and kittens. They all crowded around him, meowing, purring, and rubbing up against his legs.

“ACK! NO MORE CATS!” Snively cried as he took off running, the flock of felines chasing after him. “No! Bad kitties! Shoo, I say! Bark, bark! Woof, woof! LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Snively cried. He was last seen running towards the edge of the Great Swamp, followed by the swarm of cats who would follow him to the ends of Mobius. “I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS YET, SHYCHICK!!” he screamed.

THE END!

Special thanks go to PJ’s Pets, where I was inspired for this fic!

This has been a Shychick Production!