Disclaimer- Unfortunately, I don’t own the rights to Snively or any other characters in this wacked-out fic. DIC Entertainment and Archie Comics do… for now, anyway! MMWWAHAHAHAHAHA!! (Yeah, dream on, Shychick!)

There once was a sad young man named CinderSnively. CinderSnively was the saddest person in all of the land. He hated his life with a passion. Why, you ask? Because he was forced to work like a dog under the control of his cruel Uncle Jullian. He swept and dusted the cottage, did the dishes, scrubbed the floors, did the laundry, scrubbed the toilets and sinks, cooked all the meals, etc., etc., never to get a break! His ruthless uncle demanded his services round the clock, 24/7.

CinderSnively hated his uncle with a passion. But he had no choice but to humbly submit to his every whim, never daring to question his authority or complain. The consequences for such actions would be dire!

CinderSnively also had a cousin- his uncle’s android son, Packbell. Packbell got pleasure from nothing more than tormenting and torturing his little cousin every chance he got, which was all too often for poor CinderSnively. He also loved to order him around 24/7 just like his father did. CinderSnively hated Packbell just as much as he hated his Uncle Jullian. But if he knew that if he ever dared to try anything against his uncle’s precious “son”, than his fate would surely be sealed!

No, the young man was not at all happy with his life. He was tired of being treated like a slave and being tormented each and every day. He would cry himself to sleep each night, longing for a better life…

One day, whilst CinderSnively was busy doing his daily chores, the King’s Royal Messenger, Antoine D’Coolette, approached the humble little cottage with a message from the King himself. “Zent by order of his Royal Majesty, King Acorn, zere ees to be a formal Ball held een zee Acorn Palace tomorrow night. Zee King ees trying to find a suitor for his daughter, zee fair Preenzess Sally. Every bachelor een zee kingdom must attend.” With a stiff salute, the Messenger humbly took his leave.

“A Ball, hmmm?” Robotnik mused, stroking his mustache. He turned to his artificial son. “Packbell, did you hear that? Just think, my boy! This could be your lucky break, if you play your cards right. If the Princess chooses you to be her husband, than that would make you the King! We would both be rich and live in that grand old palace for the rest of our lives, in the lap of luxury!”

“Get a grip on reality, you stupid fools,” CinderSnively muttered under his breath as he swept the cottage floors.

“Did you say something, CinderSnively?” his uncle snapped, glaring at him.

CinderSnively gulped. “I- I merely said that the Princess must have a great deal of priceless jewels, Uncle Jullian!” was the only thing he could think of at the moment.

“Well, no duh, Needlenose!” Packbell sneered. “She’s the Princess, that obviously makes her the richest one in all the land! And when I move into the Palace, all those riches will be mine to inherit! And you won’t get a single red cent, shrimp!” He laughed nastily. “Just wait until I’m king! I’ll scrub the palace floors with you!” He laughed some more.

Snively just sighed wearily and continued with his sweeping.

“The Ball is tomorrow night, Packbell!” Robotnik suddenly cried. “Come, son, we have so much to prepare for and so little time! CinderSnively! Why are you just standing around like an idiot at a time like this? Begin to work on cleaning and ironing our uniforms and polishing our boot at once! One must look their very best for the Princess, after all.”

CinderSnively looked up timidly at his uncle. “Um… Uncle? Would it be all right if I- that is to say, could I- er, what I’m trying to say, sir, is… m-may I please attend the Ball too?”

Packbell just about fell down laughing when he heard that. “YOU?! You think that Princess Sally would actually be interested in dancing with a worthless little wimp like you, a pointy-nosed, bald, short little freak like you, over a handsome, strong fellow like myself? What makes you even think you’re worthy to dance with such beauty?”

“Now, now, Packbell,” Robotnik said slyly, “let’s not be so hard on the lad. After all, the notice did specifically request that every bachelor in the land must attend, did it not?” He turned to face his hopeful nephew. “I will make you a deal, dear nephew- if you manage to get us prepared for the Ball, finish all of your chores, and find yourself something suitable to wear by tomorrow night, than you may go with us.”

CinderSnively was too overjoyed for words. “Oh, thank you, Uncle!” he cried happily. “I promise that I will be ready on time! You will not regret this!” And off he went to begin his chores.

Packbell turned to his father with a confused expression on his face. “Father, why did you say that he could come with us? Besides, he’ll never finish all his chores in time, much less find something suitable to wear!”

Robotnik only grinned. “Exactly, dear boy. But until tomorrow night, let the little fool believe that he can go to the Ball…” He and Packbell chuckled wickedly.

After CinderSnively finished work on the outfits that Robotnik and Packbell had selected to wear to the Ball, he got to work on polishing their boots. When he was through with that, he hurried away to start on his daily chores. He swept, dusted, did the dishes, did the laundry, shined all the mirrors, toilets, and sinks, and scrubbed all the floors in each room. He was just scrubbing the floor in the basement, immersed in his own fantasies about going to the Ball and dancing with the Princess. Maybe the Princess would even choose him to marry! “Oh, that would indeed be a wonderful thing…” he said to himself. “To marry the beautiful Princess Sally, live in the palace, become the Prince, and when the time comes, the King… it would be a dream come-true! Just to experience such happiness and bliss, for once in my wretched life…” He sighed. “Well, they say that a dream is a wish your heart makes, so I suppose anything is possible…” He continued to scrub the floor.

Just than he heard the sound of mocking laughter. He looked up to see Packbell standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest. “So you actually think that the Princess is gonna want to marry YOU? HA! Of all the people in the kingdom, why would she want to marry you?” He laughed. “You’re so pathetic!” He smiled arrogantly. “Well, sorry to bust your bubble, Needlenose,” he said, popping one of the soap bubbles that floated up from the soapy floor, “but I’m going to be the lucky suitor! After all, what girl in her right mind, especially a princess, would want to pass up such a golden opportunity?”

“Reality check, Packbell,” CinderSnively snapped, “but you’re not even real! You’re an android, in case you’ve forgotten! A stupid machine! Do you actually think that the Princess would want to marry a ridiculous machine?”

Packbell glared at his little ‘cousin.’ “I really feel that you don’t need to speak to me in such a manner, little one,” he said. “After all, I am your future king.” He smiled slyly. “I know just what you need, Cueball- a bath.” He grabbed the bucket of soapy water, and CinderSnively gulped, knowing exactly what he was going to do. “You don’t want to show up at the Ball all dirty, now do you?” the android cackled, as he dumped the entire bucket of water over CinderSnively’s head. “That’s no way to present yourself in front of royalty, now is it?”

“ARRRGHHH!!” screamed the drenched CinderSnively. “PACKBELL!!”

Packbell laughed, as CinderSnively hiccuped soap bubbles. He turned to leave. “Oh, and good luck on finishing all your chores by tomorrow night, CinderSnively!” he smirked.

CinderSnively glanced up in horror, only to see the entire floor covered in sooty footprints from the fireplace! Damn, but that android was fast! “NOOOO!!” CinderSnively screamed angrily. “PACKBELL!!”

It was the night of the Ball. Packbell and Robotnik were getting ready to head on out to the palace.

CinderSnively sadly entered the room. “Why, where’s your suit, CinderSnively?” Robotnik smirked knowingly. “Don’t tell me that you’re planning on humiliating us in front of the Royal Family by wearing those rags!”

CinderSnively sighed sadly. “I won’t be coming after all,” he said, his head sadly lowered. “I was unable to complete all my chores on time. I simply had too much to do. I don’t even have anything suitable to wear.”

“Well, that’s life, Needlenose!” Packbell smirked, as he turned to leave the cottage. “You know what they say- life is not fair. Oh, well.”

“Yes, CinderSnively, let this be a lesson to you,” Robotnik said with an evil grin. “Maybe next time, you’ll work a little harder and a little faster.” He shut the cottage door and locked it, leaving the little man all alone inside the dark cottage with his broken hopes and dreams.

“NOOO! IT’S NOT FAIR!” he cried angrily. “IT’S JUST NOT FAIR! OH, I HATE MY LIFE!!” He ran out back to the garden, sobbing his eyes out.

All of a sudden, a flash of light appeared, and a female Rabbit with robotic legs and arms, wearing a blue dress, appeared in front of CinderSnively. The little man gasped through his tears. “Are you my Fairy Godmother?” he asked.

“That’s right, sugah!” the Rabbot said. “I’m your Fairy Godmother- or Fairy God-Rabbot, if ya’ll prefer… but anyway, I’m here to change your luck! Ya’ll know what tonight is, sugah? Tonight’s the night ya’ll go to the Ball!”

“But how?” wailed the little man. “I’d give anything to go to the Ball, Fairy God-Rabbot! But who am I kidding? It’s impossible! I was a fool to have such a dream…”

“Well, I don’t know about that, darlin’,” the Fairy God-Rabbot said with a smile, “because it’s like they say- impossible things are happenin’ everyday! Besides, ya gotta dream it if ya wanna do it!” The Fairy God- Rabbot than took her magic wand and started to chant something along the lines of, “Bippity-Boppety-Boo! Put ‘em together, and what da ya’ll got? Bippity-Boppety-Boo!” Just than, an egg-shaped coach appeared out of nowhere!

“Now, let’s see, what else do ya’ll need for the Ball?” the Fairy God- Rabbot said.

“Well, about my clothes…”

“I’ve got it, darlin’!” she exclaimed. “Ya’ll need a Footman and a Coach- Driver and, of course, a team of horses to pull the carriage!” She looked around. “Well, I reckon I’ll hafta work with what I got!” She waved her magical wand and transformed Scratch and Grounder, his uncle’s idiotic robots, into a Footman and a Coach-Driver, and she transformed six of his uncle’s SWATBots into six white horses.

“And now for yer uniform!” the Fairy God-Rabbot said, turning to CinderSnively. “Ya’ll surely caint show up at the Ball in those rags, now cain ya?” She waved her magical wand and transformed CinderSnively’s raggedy old clothes into a magnificent green suit with sparkling gold buttons, complete with polished black boots. (A/N: BTW, in case you are wondering, it’s not the same uniform he wears in SatAM.)

“Oh, thank you, Fairy God-Rabbot!” CinderSnively cried happily. “This is too good to be true! I’m actually going to the Ball!” He hopped into the coach.

“Just remember one thing, sugah,” the Fairy God-Rabbot warned. “At the stroke of midnight, the spell will be broken. Everything will turn back to normal.”

“Oh, don’t worry about a thing, Fairy God-Rabbot!” CinderSnively said, too excited to really pay attention. “To the palace, James!” he ordered the Coach-Driver, “and step on it! The Princess is waiting!”

The Fairy God-Rabbot waved as the coach took off down the road, towards the Ball. “Ya’ll come back before midnight now, ya hear?” she called after him before disappearing into thin air.

CinderSnively could hardly hold in his excitement, as he approached the magnificent castle of Acorn. As he walked up the red carpeted stairs, Geoffrey St. John, the King’s guard, eyed the little man suspiciously. “G’day, mate,” the Skunk started to say, but than after a pause, he added with a raised eyebrow, “Ey, I’ve never seen you in the kingdom before, mate. Are you sure you were invited now?”

“Why, of course, my good man,” CinderSnively said, trying to come off like he belonged in high society like the rest of them. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe the Her Royal Highness, Princess Sally, is waiting for me.”

St. John nodded in approval. “All right than, mate, good enough. Go right on in. Forgive my skepticism, but y’know we can’t afford to take any chances with any beggar and peasant blokes tryin’ ta sneak in now.”

CinderSnively laughed nervously as he went into the palace.

What an amazing sight! The room was huge! Everybody was dancing, talking, laughing, mingling, and having a good time. ‘I hope nobody realizes that I’m just “slumming it” here tonight’ CinderSnively thought nervously. ‘And I hope that Uncle Julian and Packbell don’t spot me. I’ll have to be careful…’

Than he saw her. The beautiful and fair Princess Sally. His heart pounded like a kettle drum at the mere sight of her. She was the loveliest creature CinderSnively had ever laid eyes on. It was love at first sight. ‘I am not worthy of such beauty’ he thought to himself. He was starting to get nervous. A few beads of sweat trickled down his face, and he quickly wiped them away. He was scared; he wasn’t quite sure how to approach her. ‘How do I confront a Princess?’ he wondered. ‘What if I trip and fall? What if I say something stupid? There are so many things that could just go wrong! This is my big chance, my one-and-only chance! I can’t afford to make any mistakes now!’ He took a deep breath. He saw that all the bachelors were standing in line before the throne, waiting to have a turn to dance with the Princess. He gulped and started to walk towards the long line-up.

Meanwhile Princess Sally was bored out of her mind. She had danced with many gentleman so far, and would dance with many more before the night was over. Unfortunately not one of the men she danced with satisfied her. There was either nothing truly special about them, or she found them too immature, or below her standards, or they simply weren’t her type. “I hope I find somebody who is worthy enough to marry before this night is over!” she complained to her father, King Maximillion Acorn, who was seated in the throne beside her.

The King was growing somewhat impatient with his daughter’s picky ways. “My dearest Bean, listen to reason,” he pleaded. “You have met many fine gentleman so far, and yet you refuse to have nothing more to do with any of them! Really, my dear, I see nothing wrong at all with this fine group of young suitors! You just have to give them a fair chance, that’s all. Why, at this rate, you’ll never choose a suitor before the Ball is through tonight!”

Sally sighed. She would know the right man when she saw him. She just hated being rushed into this whole marriage thing by her father. But the Law stated that she must be wed to a suitor by her 18th birthday, which was why her father had chosen to hold a Ball, so that his daughter could meet somebody in the kingdom to settle down with.

All of a sudden, Sally’s eyes spotted CinderSnively, who was nervously waiting in line. She didn’t know why exactly, but she was somewhat intrigued by this young man. There was something about him that just set him apart from the rest of this group. She didn’t know whether it was his short height, his unusually-long nose, or the fact that he only had a few strands of hair on his head. Or maybe he just didn’t look so cocky and sure of himself like all the others…

“Father,” she said to the King, “who is that shy young man standing over there?” She pointed towards CinderSnively.

The King observed him closely. “Why, I don’t know, my dear,” he said, confused. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him around the kingdom before.”

“Really?” Sally said, greatly interested. “I have to meet this stranger! Perhaps he is the one I’ve been searching for all this time…” With that, she got up and left her seat.

“But, my Bean, what about the next suitor in line? It’s not proper etiquette for a princess to keep your next guest waiting…” the King called after his daughter, but she paid no attention. She just had a feeling about this man…

CinderSnively was nervously wringing his hands together, when all of a sudden he heard a sweet voice from behind him. “May I have this dance?”

CinderSnively turned around, only to see the Princess Sally standing there! “M-me? W-why- of-of course, Princess!” he said, bowing politely from the waist. “It would be a great honor indeed!”

As the two danced together, they both knew that it was love at first sight. Perhaps it was magic that brought them together. Perhaps it was Fate. Perhaps it was destiny. But one thing was clear to them both: they were meant to be together forever. The feeling was so strong….

‘So this is love…’ they both thought to themselves as they danced.

Over at the refreshment table, Robotnik and Packbell noticed the Princess and this strange young man dancing together. Packbell nearly spit out his punch in shock. “Father!” he cried. “That man with the Princess! It’s- it’s CinderSnively!! I’d recognize that ridiculous long nose anywhere!”

Robotnik looked more carefully. “So it is, Packbell!” he cried in shock. “I thought he looked awfully familiar! But no- it’s impossible! It just couldn’t be! It must be just a coincidence!” He narrowed his eyes. “Or is it?”

After their dance together, the Princess and CinderSnively took a romantic stroll through the palace garden.

“Oh, CinderSnively,” Sally was saying, “I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were the one for me. It was love at first sight. You’re not like other men… you’re kind, sweet, sensitive, and you have a certain shyness about you that I find very charming!” She smiled. “I also love that cute British accent of yours, your adorable short height, your unusually- long nose, and even the fact that you haven’t but a few strands of hair on your head.”

“I knew from the very second I saw you that we were destined to be together as well, Princess,” CinderSnively said. “You are the loveliest, sweetest, most wonderful person I have ever met. Your beauty puts the sparkling stars in the heavens to shame! If I could make but a single wish on one of those stars, it would be to spend the rest of my life with you. I have never known what true happiness is until I met you.”

They kissed, and that kiss was about the best thing that ever happened to CinderSnively.

“Oh, CinderSnively,” Sally said softly, “I never want this night to end.”

“Nor do I, Princess,” CinderSnively said, kissing her delicate hand.

All of a sudden, the big clock struck midnight! CinderSnively gasped, as he suddenly recalled the Fairy God-Rabbot’s warning.

“CinderSnively, what’s wrong?” asked Sally, concerned.

“It’s midnight! Oh, forgive me, Princess, but I must leave at once! Goodbye, my sweet Princess! I’ll never forget you!” He turned and ran.

“Wait!” cried Sally. “You mustn’t leave me! Please wait!” She ran after him. But it was too late; he was already gone.

Antoine ran up. “My Preenzess,” he announced. “I have found zeese boot on zee stairs!”

“It’s CinderSnively’s boot!” Sally cried. “Antoine, take this boot and go to every house in the kingdom and make every man in the kingdom try it on! You will know when you find CinderSnively, for only a man with such small feet could fit into a boot like this!”

Anotoine nodded. “I will not fail you, Preenzess,” he said, with a bow. He hurried away to obey.

It was the next morning. Of course, the Fairy God-Rabbot’s warning had come true. He had found himself back in his old clothes, the egg-shaped coach had vanished, and the horses, Coach-Driver, and Footman had all turned back into ‘Bots.

As CinderSnively swept the cottage, he whistled happily, thinking about the night before. ‘Oh, Princess, someday, somehow, Fate will allow us to meet again!’ he thought to himself. That had been the happiest night of his life.

Robotnik, who was terribly suspicious, was watching his little nephew closely, observing how unusually high his spirits were today. He decided to test his theory…

“Well, dear nephew, I trust you had a good time last?” he asked with a knowing grin.

“Oh, yes, Uncle!” CinderSnively cried, not realizing at the moment what he was saying, “I had a wonderful time! I danced with the Princess all night long! Last night was the best night of my whole life!” Than it hit him, what he just said to his uncle, and he gasped, clapping a hand over his mouth. But it was too late.

“So! That WAS you we saw at the Ball last night, you little sneak!” Robotnik roared, grabbing him by the neck. “How dare you!! Who do you think you are?! THE PRINCESS WAS SUPPOSED TO DANCE WITH PACKBELL!! AND YOU STOLE HER AWAY FROM HIM, YOU CONIVING LITTLE BACKSTABBING WRETCH! IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU THAT SHE DIDN’T CHOOSE PACKBELL AS HER HUSBAND! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU’VE DONE?! YOU’VE CHEATED YOUR COUSIN OUT OF HIS DESTINY!!”

“N-n-no, Uncle…” whimpered the shaking CinderSnively, terrified. He knew that he couldn’t deny it. “P-p-please, sir… I-I-I was just- I just wanted a chance to find happiness for the first time in my life!” he cried out, sobbing. “Don’t I have a right to be happy too? I’m really the one who is being cheated! All my life, you’ve cheated me out of my happiness, Julian, cheated me out of a good life! YOU OWE ME SO MUCH FOR WHAT YOU HAVE STOLEN FROM ME, JULIAN! I HATE YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU’VE EVER DONE TO ME!!” He lowered his head, sobbing.

After Robotnik and Packbell took turns beating CinderSnively to a bloody pulp, there suddenly came a knocking at the cottage door. “Ziss esse zee King’s Royal Messenger! Open up, in zee name of zee King! By order of zee King’s daughter, zee Preenzess Sally, I have been sent to seek out Monsieur CinderSnively, with zee help of ziss boot zat he left behind at zee Ball!”

“Oh, I knew that she would find me again!” cried the bruised CinderSnively. He was just about to call out to Antoine that he was right inside the house, but Robotnik quickly clapped a hand over his mouth. “Quick, hide him!” he hissed to Packbell. “We can’t have him ruining your chances all over again! This may very well be your lucky break after all, Packbell!” Packbell grabbed CinderSnively and dragged him over to the closet. “No way are you ruining my second and last chance, Needlenose!” he said, as he quickly bound CinderSnively’s wrists and ankles tightly with rope. Than he gagged him so that he would stay quiet, threw him inside of the closet, and shut the door, cutting off his muffled protests.

Packbell hurried into the living room just as Robotnik was showing Antoine in. “Why what a delightful surprise,” Robotnik was saying to the Messenger. “To think that the Princess has selected my own son, out of all the bachelors in the kingdom, as her husband! This is indeed a great day for our family! Such a great honor! And now, I am pleased to present, my son, CinderSnively!” he said, gesturing towards Packbell with a knowing wink at him.

“Ah, magnifique!” cried Antoine. “But I must be knowing theese for certain. Monsieur, would you be so kind as to be trying on zeese boot for me?”

“This is an outrage!” cried Robotnik, who knew that their chances didn’t look so good now, “how dare you! Are you suggesting that my son is not who I say he is?”

“Non, non, monsieur,” Antoine insisted. “I am only following orders, you understand. Now if your son will be trying on zee boot, we can be feeneeshing up theese business.”

“Well, of all the ridiculous- oh, very well than!” Robotnik snapped, knowing that there was no arguing with the King’s Messenger. “Er, CinderSnively, you heard His Excellency. Try the boot on, son.”

Packbell tried to appear casual as he tried to jam the small boot onto his large android foot, which obviously would never fit. “Er, heh, heh,” he laughed nervously.

“Eese zere a problem, Monsieur?” Antoine asked, noticing how he struggled to fit the boot onto his foot.

“Uh, well, actually… my foot seems to have grown overnight!” said Packbell, faking shocked surprise.

Antoine looked skeptical. “So I am seeing… Well, I must say, zeese eese quite a preedicament… If I may ask, Monsieur, are there any other bachelors in zee house?”

“Why, of course not, Your Grace!” Robotnik quickly insisted.

“Eeen zat case, I am afraid I must be leaving now. I have other houses to be trying. Good day, monsieurs.” The Coyote turned to leave.

Meanwhile, inside of the closet, CinderSnively had managed to get the gag off. “WAIT! I’M IN HERE!” he screamed as loud as he could. “HELP!”

Antoine glanced over at the sheepish Robotnik and Packbell, who laughed nervously. “Sooo, nobody else is being here, eh?” he said. “Well, I will just be seeing about that!” He marched over to the closet.

“Er, why, Your Excellency, I can assure you, there is nothing inside that closet but useless old junk!” protested Robotnik quickly.

Antoine yanked open the closet door, only to see the bound-and-bruised CinderSnively lying there. The Messenger glared at the guilty Robotnik and Packbell. “Would you care to be explaining zeese, monsieurs?”

“Uh, er, well…” the two were at a loss for words.

Antoine quickly untied CinderSnively and helped him up. “Would you be caring to try on zee boot, mon’amie?” he asked. (A/N: Sorry, I suck with spelling French words!)

“B-but he is only a mere servant!” protested Robotnik.

“I do not care,” Antoine said. “Every bachelor in zee kingdom must be trying eet on!”

CinderSnively tried the boot on, and of course it fit perfectly.

Antoine saluted. “Monsieur CinderSnively,” he said with a bow, “you are zee one zee Princess wishes to be marrying.”

“NOOOO!!” screamed Robotnik and Packbell in unison.

And so, CinderSnively married Princess Sally and moved into the Acorn Palace. And it came to pass, after their wedding, the two became crowned King and Queen of the Kingdom of Mobius. CinderSnively, who was once the most miserable young man you could possibly imagine, was now the happiest young man in all of the land. For, he had finally got what he always wanted and deserved his whole life- true happiness.

THE END!

Wasn’t that a cool story?! Now, just for the record, folks, I would just like to say that, like all the rest of you, I believe that the idea of Sally and Snively being together is just wrong, and that the only one who belongs to her is our #1 Hedgehog, Sonic! SONIC AND SALLY FOREVER!! Remember, a stupid fanfic is not going to change that! But y’know, I think it would be awesome for Snively to actually fall in love! He really does deserve to be happy, poor little guy… (Sniffle!) Don’t forget to review!

This has been a Shychick Production!