Disclaimer- I dun own anything. Talk to SEGA, DiC Entertainment, Archie Comics, and Chuck Jones. (Creator of Loony Toons)

A/N- This is a parody of one of my favorite Loony Toons cartoons- the one with the two dogs- Alf and Chester- and Sylvester. Enjoy!

Dr. Robotnik was strolling down the streets of Robotropolis, with his head held high and proud, like he owned the whole damn city... which he did.

Down at his side, eagerly tagging along beside him, was his nephew/lackey, Snively. “I say, we’re jolly-good chums, aren’t we, Uncle Julian? Partners-in-crime, everything 50-50; that’s us, right, Uncle Julian?” he asked, skipping after his uncle.

“Nah.” Robotnik wacked him in his face, sending him flying roughly into a lamp-post.

Snively slowly got to his feet and managed a nervous little laugh, despite his pain. “Uncle Julian’s my hero,” he said proudly, “cause he’s so big and strong... and I’m so puny.”

Later, Robotnik and Snively were walking down the same street. “Say, Uncle Julian,” young Snively was eagerly saying, skipping along side of him, “how’s about we go scrap us some Workerbots, you know, just for fun? Maybe we can even bully some of ‘em before we send ‘em to the junk-heap, to show ‘em who’s boss!”

“Nah,” Robotnik snapped, once again striking him away. He reached down and grabbed his timid litle nephew. “And speaking of which, Snively, just who is boss around here?” he growled.

“Y-y-you, Uncle Julian,” Snively gulped.

“What was that, Snively?” Robotnik said in a voice of thunder. He tightened his grip on his kin.

“Of course I meant to say, “you, sir”!” Snively squeaked.

The fat-ass dropped him. “That’s better.”

They continued on their merry little stroll to nowhere in particular. After a few moments of silence, Snively spoke up again. “Well, Uncle Ju- er, I mean, sir,” he began nervously, “I know where there’s a hedgehog we can roughen up!”

“Snively, just what is this “we” crap- good heavens!” Robotnik suddenly cried in a fascinated tone, stopping short in his lecture. “Did you say, “hedgehog”?!”

Snively, who had cowarded down at his master’s feet, for fear he should be smacked again, now eagerly jumped at Robotnik’s interest. “Sure, sir, I know where there’s a hedgehog! A blue hedgehog too, who can run faster than the speed of sound! But I know he’d be no match for us- er, for you, sir!” he exclaimed in excitement. “After all, brains and brawn over speed, right, sir?”

Robotnik, now very much interested indeed, was nearly salivating at the mouth. “Well then, what are we just standing around here for, you little fool?” he screamed, almost frightening the skeleton out of Snively. “Take me to where he is, at once!”

“Of course, sir; at once, sir!” his nephew gulped, quickly leading the way.

Robotnik followed after him, muttering to himself, “A blue hedgehog... who can run at sonic-speed... well, I must say, this should prove most interesting indeed. I have been bored, after all- at last, a little action and excitement worthy of the Great and Powerful Dr. Ivo Robotnik!”

They spotted Sonic just outside one of Robotnik’s laboritories. “There he is, sir! There’s the blue hedgehog! Let’s get him, sir!” Snively cried eagerly, jumping up and down. He started to hurry towards him.

Robotnik pulled him back. “There is no ‘W’ in “Me”, Snively!” he said, throwing him aside. “I shall take care of that little pincushion myself! Is that clear?”

“Very clear, sir,” Snively gulped.

Robotnik rushed towards Sonic. “You are MINE, hedgehog!”

Sonic just stared at the fatty, then burst out laughing. “Well, well... it ain’t everyday you see an elephant with two rear ends!”

Robotnik growled. “How dare you!!”

“I’d love to stick around and exchange insults with ya, blubber-buns- not that you have any to trade- but I’ve got to juice!” Sonic hurried inside the laboratory, and slammed the door.

Once inside, he glanced all around his surroundings at all the different-colored fizzing chemicals in beakers and test-tubes upon the shelves and counters. Upon mistaking them for soda-pop, he grabbed a glass of bright red, foaming liquid. “Way cool! Cherry-cola... my fave! Down the ‘ol hatch! The hedgehog is thir-sty!” He guzzled the whole thing down. “WHOA! It’s like there’s a mondo party in my mouth, and everyone’s invited! Now that’s what I call I drink with attitude!” he cried, upon feeling the awesome kick to it. But then, all of a sudden...

He gasped. He sputtered. He choked.

He grew taller... he grew harrier... his quills grew in both sharpness and length... he grew long fangs and claws...

All of a sudden, Robotnik burst through the door. “All right, hedgehog! You might as well surrender, because I-”

At what he saw, Robotnik took that oppertunity to piss himself, and he turned pale as a ghost...

He backed out of the room, shaking like mad, sputtering incoherent gibberish all the while, still dead-pale. “B-b-b--b-big h-h-h-h-hedgehog, b-b-b-big h-h-h-hedgehog...”

Snively looked confused. “Sir?”

He glanced inside the room... only to see a regular-sized Sonic, looking completely dazed. (The effect was only momentary.) “You’re spoofing, sir! Why, he’s not so big! I bet even I could lick him!” He hurried inside the room, and began to open a can of whoop-ass on Sonic, then came back out wiping his hands together on a job well done. “See, sir? If I can lick him, you can surely lick him! ‘Cause you’re so big and strong... and I’m so puny!”

Robotnik leaped to his feet. “YOU’RE RIGHT! No rodent makes Dr. Ivo Robotnik look like a complete ass! Stand back, Snively- I’m going in! YAAAAA!!” Screaming like a banshee, he charged back into the room...

...Just in time to see Sonic vanish into a chest. “Hiding won’t do you any good, vermin! I know where you are!” He was about to throw open the chest, when all of a sudden there came a “Rrrrrr!” from within... and out slowly emerged a giant mutant-like blue hedgehog.

From outside the room, Snively could make out great thrashing sounds. “That’s it, sir! Give ‘in one for me! Let him have it! Give him hell, Uncle Julian!” he cried excitedly, eagerly punching the air with his fists.

Finally, the door was flung open, and out came flying a bruised and scratched Robotnik. “Sir, sir! Speak to me! Did he hurt you?!” Snively cried.

“Nah... he just pricked me with his quills,” Robotnik said in a daze. He literally fell to peices, much to his nephew’s shock.

Suddenly, Robotnik noticed that the beast was coming straight towards him! He quicly pulled himself together and took off running, leaving a cloud of dust behind him.

A very puzzled Snively glanced behind him at that moment... just as Sonic turned back to normal. “Uh... what’s up, Snidely?” Sonic asked rudely, though nervously.

Once again, Snively just opened a can of whoop-ass on the blue rodent, then sent him crashing into the wall. “Oh, Uncle Julian!” he called, walking out of the room to find his hero. “You can take him now! I softened him up for you!”

He forced Robotnik back into the room, holding a gun to his back. “You just have to go back in there, sir! It’s for your own good!” He locked the door.

Robotnik banged on the door in a panic. “Let me out of here!” he cried. “You don’t understand! He’s a killer! Save me, Snively! He’s a killer, I tell you! I’m locked in with a killer!”

He glanced up, only to see Sonic- now back to his normal size- zoom out the window. “Later, bullet-head!”

“He’s gone!” All of a sudden, Robotnik got an idea...

“All right, hedgehog! I’ve fooled around long enough!” he yelled loud enough for Snively to hear. “Take this- and this!” He began to smash glass after glass, turn over tables and chairs, and make loud enough of a ruckus to make it sound as though he were beating the hell out of Sonic. “Begging on your knees won’t save you, rodent!” an excited Snively heard him yell from inside.

Robotnik then grabbed a beaker full of red chemical, and smasked against it against the wall. The drops of liquid landed on a near-by fly.

The fly coughed... he gasped... he sputtered...

Robotnik, who had thoroughly been enjoying himself during his little charade, was roaring with maniacal laughter... until the demonic-looking mutant fly- who only grew a few inches in height- flew up to Robotnik. “AAHAHAHAHA, AHAHA... a-who-a-who... ooooo...” he gulped, turning white in horror.

The little fly grinned evilly, and picked up the fatty by his shirt...

All of a sudden, the thrashing sounds suddenly increased from the inside. “Bingo, bingo, BINGO! YE-E-E-ES!” cried Snively, doing that same psychotic high-pitched hyena laugh he did at the end of the SatAM episode, “The Doomsday Project.” He eagerly punched the air with his fists. “Sock it to him, sir! That’s my uncle!” he cried proudly.

All of a sudden, a bruised and bloody Robotnik came flying past him.

Snively looked like he was going to be sick. “That’s my uncle...?!”

He hurried up to him. “Sir! Sir! Say something! Speak to me! SIRRRR!”

Robotnik grabbed onto his nephew in a panic. “Don’t let him hurt me! He’s a killer, I say!” he screamed.

Snively looked behind him... and saw the little fly- now back to normal- blow a raspberry at Robotnik, before flying away.

Snively glared at his sheepish uncle, then spit at his feet. “Yer yella’!” he snapped in disgust.

Snively proudly marched down the street, his long nose high in the air, like he owned the whole city- which he now did. (He wore the same black uniform and cape he wore at the end of “The Doomsday Project.”)

Tagging along his side was the has-been Julian. “I say,” he said eagerly, “we’re jolly good chums, aren’t we, Snively, old boy?”

“Nah.” Snively smacked him in the face.

Robotnik only grinned. “Snively’s my hero,” he said proudly, ‘cause he’s so brave and strong! Yeah!”

THE END

Not one of my better peices of work, but I was in a rush. Hope you enjoyed as a quick laugh though.

Btw, I plan to update “This I Vow” soon (like you care, or even know what I’m talking about, hey?). I’ve just been mondo busy lately, with my jobs and school-work... whew!

This has been a Shychick Production!