Disclaimer- Must I go through this every time?

A/N: I am making up most of the Kintobor characters in this fic, just to let you know.

Snively had just finished his chores for the day. He had cleaned every inch of the entire Death Egg from top to bottom, prepared the dinner, and had prepared all of the snacks and refreshments. The reason he was making all these preperations was because today was the Kintobor Family Reunion. Every remaining Kintobor on Mobius, all who dwelled over in the far regions of the Overlander Territories, were expected today. It was a very special day for the Kintobor family, not only because it had been countless years since they had all been together, but mainly because it was a day of evil plotting and planning, a day of meeting together to figure out a way to get rid of Sonic the Hedgehog for good. Robotnik had said that strength lies in numbers, so he figured that if he united all the members of the Kintobor clan in Robotropolis, they would somehow defeat the Hedgehog all together. “The Kintobor Army” is what Robotnik was planning on calling them all when the time came to crush Sonic for good.

Snively had never even met half the members of his family. The ones he was familar with, he hadn’t seen in years, like his father, Colin, his Aunt Gertrude, his cousins, Maxwell and Sylvia, and Robotnik’s mother. Come to think of it, Snively didn’t even think there were any other Overlanders left on Mobius, let alone Kintobors. Years ago, during the Great War, they had all been driven out of Mobian lands by King Acorn, and had settled to live in colonies of their own over in the further regions of the planet.

“SNIVELY!” Robotnik yelled from the monitors. “Have you completed all the necessary preparations yet? They’re due to arrive at any minute!”

“Yes, sir,” Snively replied with a nod. “Everything is ready, Dr. Robotnik.”

“Excellent!” Robotnik cried happily. He smiled evilly. “Oh, I should have thought of this years ago, when I first conquered Mobotropolis. Now that blasted Hedgehog won’t have a chance in hell, not against the might of the entire Kintobor Army! Together, led by me, we shall go forth and capture that blue pincushion, as well as every last one of those annoying Freedom Fighters! And once we have every last one of those wretched furries under our grasp, I will personally roboticize each and every one of them, thus making them all my loyal slaves and increasing my robotic empire! After we find the location of Knothole and capture all the citizens, it will be nothing more than a wasteland! Than we will go on to take total control of all the rest of Mobius! Soon I will conquer every inch of this planet, Snively! Nobody shall escape my wrath! NOBODY! And than, I, Dr. Robotnik, shall be the most powerful one in all of the land!” He broke out into about thirty seconds of maniacal laughter. Than he paused to say in a dreamy voice, “Mark my words, Snively, my boy, this is indeed going to be a night to remember...” Suddenly, he yelled out, “Now, why in blazes are you just standing there like an idiot?! They’ll be here any minute, you know! Report to the main entrance, where they’re scheduled to arrive, to greet them all as they show up! QUICKLY, SNIVELY!!”

“Y-y-y-yes, sir, right away, sir, at once, sir!” the little lackey squeaked as he broke into one of those jogging-on-the-spot-for-three-seconds-before-taking-off routines.

Snively stood in the doorway of the front entance, waiting for the other Kintobors to arrive. What am I, a butler? he thought bitterly to himself. Just than, he noticed a group of hovercrafts up in the sky, heading straight for the base and coming in for a landing. The little man went outside to personally greet them like he was supposed to do, but the force of the crafts landing down nearly blew the little man over. With a cough, he got to his feet and waited for the smoke and dust to clear away as he watched the doors of the hovercrafts open up, only to reveal each member of the Kintobor family getting out. Everybody was loudly talking amongst themselves all at once, so nobody even took any notice of the shortest member of the family, who just stood there waiting as patiently as he could. After a few seconds of being totally ignored, Snively loudly cleared his throat, hoping to get their attention. After several attempts of trying to clear his throat and saying, “Attention, everyone. May I please have your attention?”, Snively grew somewhat impatient. He tapped his foot on the ground in annoyance as the noisy gathering all chatted amongst themselves, taking no notice of him. So than Snively just put two fingers inside his mouth and let out an ear-piercing whistle. Finally, everybody’s heads whipped around in his direction.

“That’s better,” Snively commented He cleared his throat once more for good measure before starting. “Now that I finally have your undivided attention,” he began, “I would just like to take this oppurtunity to formally welcome you all here today. Thank you all for coming out to Robotropolis today, as it is indeed a great honor to have each and every one of you here. I cannot begin to express my appreciation for your time here, as it is of utmost value and importance.” He formally placed his hands behind his back. “I trust you all had a safe and pleasant journey?”

“Oh, why should we waste our time talking to you, shrimpy?” Robotnik’s mother snapped. “You’re not in charge of this whole opperation, now are you? Quit acting all high and mighty, like you own this whole city!” She frowned. “Where is my sonny-boy, anyway? He’s the one who should be out here meeting us, not some bald, skinny, long-nosed shrimp!”

Snively tried to speak in his most respectful tone, despite the fact that he felt annoyed by now. “With all due respect, madam, I may not be First-in-Command here, but I am Second-in-Command. Dr. Robotnik himself sent me out here to personally greet you all. You’ll forgive him for being absent, I’m sure, but I’m afraid the good doctor just has some temporary unfinshed business to attend to at the moment. I’ll take you to him shortly, as he is very anxious to meet you all. He has much to discuss with you.”

“Damn, boy, what on Mobius happened to you to make you look like that?” Robotnik’s father asked in astonishment, smoking on a pipe. “You look like some kinda mutant! You ain’t got hardly no hair, your schnauz looks like a bird’s beak, and Lord Almighty, but you short! You a midget or something? I seen bigger chunks of corn in my crap!”

“He ain’t really got that much control, anyway!” Mama Robotnik smirked. “He ain’t nothing but our sonny-boy’s lackey! He’s just his cowardly, groveling, insignificant little boot-licker! He’s also an incompetent jackass, always failing Julian, never doing anything right! Julian’s always mentioning what a useless idiot he is in our letters to us, remember? I visited here once before, so I even saw for myself!”

Papa Kintobor glanced down at Snively, who tried to look as dignified as possible, even though he was extremely frustrated inside. “So this the fool named Snively than, hey? Yeah, I remember now! I gotta say, I still think that’s a hell of a mighty strange name, but from what I’ve heard about him it fits him like a glove!” He and Mama Kintobor both roared with laughter.

“Well,” Snively said with an edge to his voice, “I’m sure you’re all quite famished from the long trip here, so if you’ll all kindly follow me inside I’ll show to right to Dr. Robotnik, and than we can all begin dinner.”

“Dinner? Hell, yeah! We’re both starving! Damn, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Papa Kintobor exclaimed. He and Mama Robotnik both dropped all their luggage onto the little man for him to carry. “Here, shrimpy, be a dear and take our luggage, will ya?” Mama Kintobor said as they both went inside together, leaving Snively crushed underneath all that weight.

Maxwell, Snively’s idiotic Hillbilly-type cousin than came up. He was wearing a dirty, torn pair of overalls and a straw hat. He was about Snively’s height and he had dirty bare feet, a snotty nose, and a terrible case of Acne. He also had a piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. “Howdy, Cuz!” he drawled in his Hillbilly accent. “Haven’t seen ya in a long-day’s time! So ya all excited ‘bout the Family Reunion? I reckon I sure as heck am! We’s gonna have ourselves lots ‘o fun, hey, Cousin Snively?” He dropped his luggage onto Snively, than hurried into the base with a “Yip-yip-yippieeee!”

Just than, Sylvia, Snively’s other cousin approached next. She was what you would call a very sexy teenager. She was about 16, and was wearing a tight pair of blue pants and an orange tank-top. She also had a terrific figure, huge breasts, and had a ton of make-up and perfume on. In Snively’s opinion, she looked like a hooker. “Like, hey, Sniv!’,” she said in a Valley-Girl tone, tossing her bags of cosmetics, perfume bottles, clothes, and Teen Magazines down onto Snively, who growled in annoyance. “Oh, my God, I haven’t seen you in, like, ages! You haven’t changed a bit though, since the last time I saw you- still a skinny, ugly, long-nosed wuss! Like, what happened to your hair? You know, I, like, didn’t know you were working for Uncle Julian all these years! I heard he’s, like, Uncle Robotnik by now, hey? When I first heard, I was all like, “Oh, my God! Like, shut up!” I like, totally couldn’t believe it! And it’s so weird that you, like, work for him and junk! We have so much to catch up on! Like, don’t tell anybody this, but I’m dating a Mobian! Isn’t that wild? He’s a totally sexy Wolf! All my girlfriends are, like, just green with envy!” She took out her Nokia. “Daddykins finally let me buy my own cell phone! Isn’t that awesome? Now I can talk to my friends and Justin- that’s my boyfriend’s name- anytime I want! I’m expecting Justin to call me tonight!” She fished through her pockets. “Like, damn, I’m all out of cigarettes!” She turned to Snively. “Can I, like, bum a smoke off you? I, like, really need a puff after this long trip!” Before Snively could answer, Sylvia’s cell phone rang. “Like, hello? Oh, like, hey, Sharon!” There was a pause. “Oh, my God! Like, shut up!” she exclaimed. “You’re really going out with Ted Jones, star of the football team?!” Luckily for Snively’s ears, she took the conversation inside with her.

Snively’s Aunt Gertrude was next. “Snively, my pet!” she exclaimed, scooping him up and planting several wet, juicy kisses all over his face, leaving lipstick marks all over it. “My darling, my sugar-muffin, my baby, my sweetums, my schnookums,” she cried, nearly suffocating the her little nephew with a hug. “How have you been this whole time, precious? I’ve missed you so much! Why, I haven’t seen you since you were a lad!” She glanced down at him. “Stand up straight, dear, don’t slouch! You’ll develop back problems in the future. Now, let me get a good look at you, honey!” She looked him up and down. “You’re still a little cutie!” she said with a smile. “You still have that adorable boyish charm to you, even after all these years! But... whatever happened to your hair, dearie?”

Snively sighed. Would everyone bring that up? “It was that blue hedgehog, Auntie,” he sniffled sadly. “The one who we’ve been trying to capture for so long now, the one who’s known as “The Fastest Thing Alive”. He completely ruined my hair!” Snively sobbed. “And I never did anything to him, Aunt Gertrude! I was just minding my own business and he came speeding along and ruined my hair for no reason at all! It’s not fair!” He sobbed some more, playing on her sympathy. “I need a hug!” he cried.

“Oh, you poor, poor thing,” Gertrude said sympathetically, holding Snively close to her. “How terrible for you! Well, don’t you worry, my love. Together, we will all find a way to stop that pesky rodent for good! I’ve heard that he’s a real trouble-maker around here, him and those Freedom Fighter friends of his. But cheer up, my Snivums, cheer up! We’ll get that hedgehog, and you shall have your much-deserved revenge!” She shook her head. “Mark my words, nobody does such a cruel and horrible thing to my favorite nephew and gets away with it!” she declared firmly.

Snively smiled. “Why, I’m your only nephew, Aunt Gertrude,” he said shyly. Out of all his relatives, he certainly liked his Aunt Gertrude the best. She was the only one who didn’t treat him like slime, the only one who actually treated him like family. She was a little over-protective and bossy at times though...

“Er, may I take your things for you, Auntie?” Snively asked gallantly, holding out his hands.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Gertrude smiled, handing him her purse and suitcase. “Ever the little gentleman!” she said with a little laugh before going inside.

The last to approach was Snively’s father, Colin. He dreaded seeing him, as they had never gotten along too well at all. Their relationship had certainly never been a loving one. They had not seen each other in eleven years.

Colin regarded his son with a cold stare. “Hello, son,” he said, his tone full of bitterness. “It’s been a long time.”

“Yes, it has been, hasn’t it, Colin?” Snively said in his snootiest tone, giving him his usual stuck-up glance. “But than, what do you care?”

His father narowed his eyes. “I see you’ve still got a bit of an attitude problem since you left home years ago, don’t you, Colin?” his father said, referring to his true name, which was after him.

“Whatever happened to “Snively”?” the little man sneered. It was his father who had given him that humiliating nick-name, which had stuck all throughout his life.

“Whatever happened to “Father”?” Colin shot back. The two glared at each other for a few seconds before Colin went on to add, “You are still the pathetic, weak, little wuss I used to know and never could stand. I never could understand how such a worthless creature could be of my own flesh and blood! You are a complete disgrace to the Kintobor family! You bring shame upon us all! Mark my words, boy, you are nothing but a great embarrassment to this clan. I’m sure your obese Uncle Julian thinks the very same, now doesn’t he?” He smirked. “Second-in-Command, my foot! You know, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that that overweight uncle of yours and brother of mine made you nothing more than his lowly lackey. You’ll never amount to anything more in life, Snively... never.” And with that, he dropped his luggage onto Snively and walked inside.

“Yes, well, I love you too, Dad,” Snively muttered to himself sarcastically, bitterly. He summoned a team of SWATBots to assist him with all the luggage. “Why do I get the feeling that this whole Family Reunion will just result in complete and utter disaster in the end?” he moaned walking inside.

“My fellow Kintobors!” Dr. Robotnik cried out to everyone, who had all assembled down in the Control Room together. “I have summoned you all here today to assist me with a very important mission! What is that mission?”

“To conquer all of Mobius and raise all hell!!” the Kintobors all yelled back in unison.

“And who stands in our way?” Robotnik demanded of everyone.

“Sonic the Hedgehog!!” they all cried out together, raising their fists in the air.

“YES! Precisely!” Robotnik exclaimed. “From this day forward, we shall be known as the Kintobor Army, the strongest and most powerful ones on the planet! We shall go forth and wreak all havoc, destroying anybody who stands in our way! We shall prove, once and for all, that Overlanders are truely the most superior beings of all! We are no match for those ridiculous furries! And who is the strongest group of Overlanders ever?”

“The Kintobors!!” everybody yelled.

“YES! Both the honor of our family and the honor of our species is at stake! And once we wipe out the entire race of furries from this planet, we shall take over what is rightfully ours! Out with the weak and in with the strong! The strong shall triumph over the weak! Stick with me, and I will lead you all to glorious victory! Are you with me?”

“YES!!” screamed one-and-all.

The naive fools, Snively thought to himself. They are too blind with the false promise of power to realize that Robotnik is really using them... they are nothing but tools of war for him, mere pawns! Well, they may not see through Julian’s lies now, but they will learn eventually... Years ago, I too was fooled into believing that by joining forces with Robotnik, I could have my share of power... but here I am, nothing more than his mistreated flunky.

“But for tonight,” Robotnik continued, “let us celebrate the coming together of the Kintobor clan, the birth of the Kintobor Army, and our future victory!” He turned to a SWATBot. “Is the feast ready?”

“AFFIRMATIVE, DR. ROBOTNIK,” the SWAT droned.

“Excellent!” Robotnik said. “Well than, let us go down to the Dining Room and eat, shall we? I’m sure you all must be terribly hungry. All this evil talk certainly gives you an appetite! Follow me, everyone!”

“Yee-haw!” Maxwell cried. “I’m-a gonna go git me some grub!”

“SOUP’S ON, AT LAST!” roared Mama and Papa Kintobor.

The entire Kintobor family charged like a herd of stampeding cattle, trampling right over Snively, nearly squashing him into the floor. When the dust finally settled, Snively moaned and got to his feet with a cough. There were footprints all over his green uniform. “Those uncivallized, voracious pack of swine,” he muttered, rubbing his sore head. “How utterly undignified!” He hurried after them. “Hey now, wait for me!” he called after them. “I’m hungry too!”

The Kintobors all sat around the table, noisily scarfing down their food like pigs, and even belching every now and than. (A/N: Think how the Simpson family eats!) Snively was utterly disgusted at their rude table manners. I can’t believe what pigs they’re making of themselves! he thought to himself in horror. Can’t they at least chew with their mouths closed? There was specks of food flying out of their mouths, some even landing on him and his own plate. He tried not to pay attention, but it was kind of difficult. As much as he tried to concentrate on his own dinner, he had pretty much already lost his appetite.

“Damn, boy, no wonder you nothing but skin and bones! You sure as heck don’t got much of an appetite, do you?” Papa Kintobor remarked with a mouthful of food. “Judging by your height, I’d say you never ate much vegetables as a kid either!”

“Yeah, shrimpy, what’s the matter with you?” Mama Kintobor snapped. “You haven’t even touched any of my home-made chicken! Is that the thanks I get for slaving over a hot stove back home? Put some meat on them bones, will ya?”

Robotnik frowned in disapproval. “Yes, Snively, don’t be rude,” he said. “You don’t want to hurt Mother’s feelings, now do you?”

Papa Kintobor slapped a big pile of greasy chicken down on Snively’s plate. “Go on!” he said, “Knock yourself out!”

Snively eyed the burnt-as-charcoal pieces of chicken in disgust. But he had no choice. “Er... very well,” he said meekly. “I’m sure it tastes just as good as it looks!” He tasted a bite of it, fighting his urge to throw up. “Tank oo vewy mooch,” he managed to say, his mouth full. He struggled to swallow the crap, nearly choking on it. Gasping, he grabbed his glass of water and gulped it down to wash down the horrible taste and texture of the chicken. He faked a delighted smile. “Delicious,” he lied, crossing his fingers behind his back.

“Ya like it? Heck, have some more!” Mama Kintobor said, adding a whole shitload of several more burnt pieces to his plate.

Robotnik smiled. “Ah yes, Mother is truely an excellent cook, wouldn’t you say, Snively?”

“Oh yes, sir, absolutely!” Snively said quickly.

Aunt Gertrude smiled. “It does my heart good to see a thin person eat,” she said. “I wouldn’t want my Snivums to suffer from malnutrition!” So saying, she grabbed his plate and dumped a whole pile of brussel sprouts onto it. “Try my special home-cooked brussel sprouts! I added the most important recipe to them, plenty of TLC!”

“Oh really, I couldn’t,” Snively politely resisted, not mentioning that he thought they smelled like Mama Kintobor’s feet, plus the fact that he hated brussel sprouts altogether.

“Please? For your Aunt Gertrude, whom you love so much?” Gertrude asked with big sad eyes.

Snively gulped. “Oh, very well, Auntie, just for you,” he said smiling sweetly, taking a tiny nibble.

As the bowl of mashed potatos were passed around, Mama Kintobor was saying, “I don’t want no mashed potatos, you know mashed potatos gives me gas!”

Robotnik spoke up. “My friends,” he said happily. “It does me proud to see us all united under one roof, united together for the same common goal! Yes indeed, I really do think that I have finally reached a great breakthrough this time!”

“The only break-through is your ass, about to break through the seat of your pants,” Snively muttered under his breath, taking a sip of water.

“What was that, Snively?” Robotnik snapped sharply.

Snively gulped. “I said, has anybody ever tried chocolate-covered ants before? They’re quite good!”

“Yeah, I reckon bugs are mighty yummy!” Maxwell drawled, picking his nose. He than let out a huge belch.

“Oh really now, that is a bit much!” Snively yelled in frustation. “Have you no pride?”

“Oh, hush your mouth, boy!” Papa Kintobor snapped. “Don’t you know anything? It’s perfectly fine table manners! It’s actually a great compliment! Technically, if you don’t burp you’re considered very rude!” So saying, he let out a huge belch. “Besides, better to let it out and bear the shame than hold it in and bear the pain, I always say!” He turned to Snively. “Now, where’s your manners, boy? Go on! Let ‘er rip!”

Snively sighed. “Oh, fine than!” He let out a tiny little burp. At this, the entire table burst out laughing at his weak attempt.

“Lordy, you call that a belch? The louder you belch, the better you enjoyed your meal, you know!” Papa Kintobor declared.

“You are a disgrace to this family!” Colin snapped. “For shame, boy!”

Snively growled. “Fine, is this better?” he snapped. He than let out the hugest belch in the history of the Kintobor family, so great that it blew everything off the table.

“Way to go, son!” Colin yelled in approval. “That’s my boy!” The entire table clapped and cheered loudly.

Later, the family was gathered down in the Control Room, sipping alcoholic drinks and talking amongst themselves. Snively was giving Mama Kintobor a foot-massage, much against his own free will. Her foot not only stunk to high heaven, they also were sweaty and covered in callases. He shuddered as he rubbed away at her feet. “May I please go now, ma’am?” he whined. “It’s been a half-hour already...”

“Yeah, go on, get outta here, shrimpy,” Mama Kintobor snapped. “Cripes, what a friggin’ wuss!”

Snively huried down to the nearest washroom to wash his hands. When he came back to the Control Room, he announced to everyone, “Well, if you’ll excuse me, everyone, I believe I’ll be calling it a night. Enjoy the rest of the evening, folks. It was nice seeing you all again, and I’ll see you in the morning.” Nobody responded or even bothered to look at him. They were all too immersed in their drinking, talking, and laughing amonst themselves.

“Oh, never mind,” Snively muttered. “They probably won’t even notice my absense.” He was so sick of this family already! They were nothing more than a bunch of uncouth, disgusting slobs! And they think I’m a complete disgrace to the family? he thought to himself in disbelief as he made his way down the hall, towards his bedroom. He was not looking forward to the rest of their stay, that was for sure! As he passed by one of the closets in the hallway, he thought he heard the sound of talking and giggling from inside. “Sylvia?” Snively frowned. “Is that you in there? Just what do you think you are doing?” he demanded.

“...Like, that’s just my stupid, wimpy cousin outside!” Slyvia was saying to someone from inside the closet. “Like, just ignore him. Now, where were we before we were so, like, rudely interrupted...?”

“Sylvia Kintobor, I demand to know just who you are conversing with in there! I somehow doubt that you’re talking to yourself, and you’re far too old to have an imaginary friend...” Suddenly, Snively narrowed his eyes as he thought of the only other possibility. “IS THERE A GUY IN THERE WITH YOU?!”

“Like, no, Snively!” Sylvia snapped in frustration at being interrupted again. “And, like, what business is it of yours, anyway? I’m 16, I can take care of myself!” But it was too late. Her over-protective older cousin was already trying to break the door down, not having much luck, considering how small and weak he was. Suddenly, the door opened up and Snively fell inside. Sylvia was sitting on the floor, talking on her cell phone. “God, Snively, what the hell’s your problem? Can’t I have a little damn privacy around here? I’m talking to my boyfriend, for your information!”

Snively’s eyes opened wide in outrage. “WHAT? ARE YOU REFFERING TO THAT... THAT... FURRY?! As your older cousin, I forbid you to converse with that filthy Mobian during the rest of your stay here! We’re in a war with them, in case you’ve forgotten! What would the others say, especially Uncle Julian?” With that, he grabbed the cell phone away from her and yelled into it, “Keep your furry ass away my cousin, or I will see to it that you are the very first we capture and roboticize, Mobian!” There was a pause. “What do you mean, who the hell is this? I AM SNIVELY THE GREAT, SECOND-IN-COMMAND OF ROBOTROPOLIS! Remember the name well, fool!” With a push of a button, he hung the cell phone up and smashed it hard down onto the ground. “I’m sorry, Sylvia, but this is for your own good! I don’t want my cousin mixing in with the enemy,” he said firmly. “Now than, I bid you good night.” But before he could get a chance to turn away, Sylvia grabbed him and punched him in the face. “Keep your long nose out of my personal life, you jerk!” she yelled. She angrily stomped off down the hallway, leaving her cousin with a beeding nose.

Snively couldn’t sleep. The loud noises below him were enough to wake the dead. It was the sound of music turned on full blast, accompanied by drunken laughter and shouts. It sounded like a full-fledged party down there. Tired and fed up, Snively decided that a glass of warm milk would help him sleep. He went downstairs, wearing a pair of green striped pyjamas, to get some warm milk from the cafeteria. Upon entering the cafeteria, however, he found the party was in full swing and things were a little... crazy, to say the very least. The alcohol was flowing like river water, mostly everyone was completely drunk off their asses, and loud music was playing full-blast.

Dr. Robotnik was running around the room with a lampshade on his head, holding up a globe of Mobius in his hand, and screaming, “The world is mine! The world is mine!” at the top of his lungs. Colin was off dancing to ‘La Bamba’ in another corner of the room, while wearing a Sombrero on his head and shaking Maracas in his hands.

Mama Kintobor was singing ‘We are Fam-i-ly!’ on Karioke, while dancing the Can-Can to it, and Papa Kintobor was dancing a jig and singing ‘Old Gray Mare, She Ain’t What She Used to Be’ with his pants down.

Maxwell was sitting there on the floor, farting his ass off and than lighting a match to see the flame ignite, while laughing and snorting the whole time.

Sylvia was strip-dancing to the song, “I Believe in Miracles” up on the counter, while shaking her skanky ass in everybody’s face.

Aunt Gertrude was dancing ballet to ‘The Nutcracker’ and doing leaps and pirouettes all across the room, while wearing a leotard and ballet slippers.

Snively blinked. “Riiiight...” he said, shaking his head. Dazed, he walked over to the fridge and poured himself a glass of hot milk.

Just than, Robotnik suddenly noticed him standing there. “Hey!” he screamed. “You is my favorite nephew... and your name is Snively!” He grabbed the little man in big bear-hug, nearly crushing him. “I love you, Snively!” he cried. “I love you, little guy!” He let go of Snively and grinned down at him, beer in hand. “You little monkey,” he said, patting him on the head. “You’re a little monkey, aren’t you?”

“Er... yes, sir,” Snively said, humoring his drunken uncle, not sure of what else to say to that.

“Snively, do that thing you always do!” Robotnik said, slurring his speech.

Snively looked confused. “Er, what exactly would you be referring to, sir?”

“You know,” Robotnik slurred, “that thing you do so well!”

“What would that be, sir?” Snively asked, wanting to get away from this intoxicated oaf.

Robotnik glared at him impatiently. “Go to bed,” he snapped.

As Snively turned to go back to bed, Aunt Gertrude suddenly spotted him and screamed, “SNIVUMS! I have a surprise for you, dear boy!” She held up a pair of white bunny-pyjamas. “I knitted them just for you, sweetie-pie! Try them on! I know you’ll just look adorable in them!”

Snively gulped. He knew he had no choice but to humor his drunken aunt now. So he left the room with the Pjs and came back a minute later wearing them, much to his great humiliation. It was complete with little fluffy cotton-tail and bunny-feet. He stood there wearing them, feeling quite stupid.

Aunt Gertrude screamed in delight and whipped out her video camera. “Oh, my gosh! That is so precious!” she squealed. “Now would you hop around a bit like a bunny for me? On all fours?”

Snively wanted to die. “Yes, Auntie Gertrude,” he mumbled, giving in. He began to hop around on all fours in a circle for about five minutes, much to everyone’s amusement. He felt as if he were putting on a show. Time for this little rabbit to hop back into bed, he thought as he hopped towards the doorway. Before he left, he took one last glance over his shoulder. The entire Kintobor family had forgotten about him by this point, and were now doing the Chicken Dance. Snively rolled his eyes and left the room.

Snively woke up with a headache the next morning. He could not sleep a wink the night before, as a result of all the drunken partying that had carried on far into the night. Snively rubbed the sleep from his eyes, got dressed in his usual green uniform, combed what little hair he had left, and went downstairs to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. And the first thing that greeted his sight was the remains of last night’s little fiesta...

There was empty beer bottles and cans everywhere on the floor. Puddles of vomit were all over the place. Various articles of clothing lay strewn around the room, as well as adult magazines.

Robotnik lay passed out on his back in nothing but his underwear, snoring loudly, drool dripping from his mouth. In one arm, he held a bottle of liquor.

Colin, wearing nothing but the Sombrero, and for some strange reason, a thong, was sitting up against the interior of the fridge, passed out cold, holding a can of beer in one hand. There was was a large puddle of piss underneath him.

Mama and Papa Kintobor were lying on top of each-other, completely naked. A mess of condom wrappings lay around them. There were both snorting in their sleep.

Aunt Gertrude, still wearing her leotard from the night before, sat conked right out at a piano that she had been playing the night before. A bottle of champane rested on top of the piano, tipped over on it’s side, the remaining contents of it dripping out onto the floor. The bottle than rolled right off the piano and smashed, glass all over the place.

Maxwell was asleep, hanging upside-down from the ceiling fan by his legs. As he spun around, unconscious, he was singing ‘Jimmy Cracked Corn’ in his sleep, farting the whole time.

Sylvia lay on top of the counter, passed out, with bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and wine coolers laying around her, along with pornography magazines full of naked Mobian guys. She was wearing nothing but a pair of white panties and a bra.

Cluck, Robotnik’s mechanical pet chicken, was lapping up a near-by pool of alcohol. The tipsy tin-can squaked and clumsily flew about the room, until it smashed into the wall and crumpled to the floor below.

“Oh... good... Lord...” Snively said as he stared in disgust at the wasted “Kintobor Army”, who were certainly in no condition to do any plotting against Sonic and the Freedom Fighters today. He shook his head in utter disbelief, mouth wide open. “And they say that I’m a total disgrace to the Kintobor family?!” he cried.

THE END!

Yes, I know that was crazy, but I finished writing this around 2:30 in the morning, okay? I am in a very hyper mood right now! I NEED SLEEP! Bounces off the walls, going crazy

...Uh, yeah, well, I hope you got a good laugh out of that. I know I did! Well, I’m outta here for now; I gotta go get me some shut-eye! GOOD-NIGHT, EVERYONE!

This has been a Shychick Production!