Disclaimer- I own nothing.

A/U- Thought I died, didn’t you? Bwhahahaha! Nah, just been busy and lazy. I just don’t have time to write as much as I’d like anymore.

“Mommy, what’s a leprechaun?” little Suzzy, the racoon, suddenly demanded of her old lady from the storybook she’s been absorbed in for the past who-cares-how-long.

Mama Racoon nearly spit out a mouthful of her Mobius Light at the sound of another voice from nowhere, having suddenly penetrated her peace. It was not yet noon, and she was already drunker than a skunk- a new record for her- and so damn out of it, her grasp on reality was all but lost. “What in the name of Acorn‘s asshole?” she screamed, altogether falling backwards out of her rocking chair, which crashed on top of her, beer spilling everywhere.

“Mama, what’s a leprechaun?” Suzy asked again, in a voice as calm as seconds before. She wasn’t disturbed by her mom’s reaction- in fact, she was used to it, by now. She knew full well, from the many years of living with her, that it never did to speak to her when she was this intoxicated, but she just liked throwing a scare in her every now and then, to sober her up.

“LEPER-CONS! Don’cho talk to me about no leper-cons, missy!” her old lady grunted, trying to haul her fat ass up from the floor, which proved quite impossible in her present state. “I don’t ever wan’o hear that filthy name uttered under this roof again! We’ll have no leper-cons around here, I’ll tell you that right now! They’re the scum of this earth! Filthy, contagious disease-breeding… you’re pa was a real leper-con himself! He did me right behind the counter of a bar, afterwards making all these phony promises about loving me and asked for my hand in marriage. We were engaged to be wed the very next morning. But when we found out I got a bun in the oven, he was gone by the very next day, never any call or letter from over the years! And then, I had you, and found out shortly after, that I HAD LEPROSY!” she screamed, throwing a nearby beer bottle through the window of the hut. “Let that be a lesson to you to never have nothing’ to do with men; for, they’re all a bunch of stinkin’ leper-cons! Now, you know, dear.”

Suzy glanced down at the picture of the cute, funny little Overlander-like man wearing all green. “Um… ho-kay…”

Wise enough not to take her drunken cow of a mother seriously, little Suzy heads over to Tails’ house.

“Sure, I know what a leprechaun is, Suzzy!” he said, as they stood by the Power Ring Pool together. “According to ancient Overlander myth, they look like Overlanders, except they’re really short… and they wear all green… and they talk with a funny accent. They’re really hard to find, because they’re so fast and clever and tricky. But if you ever do find one, you gotta try and catch it! If you ever catch one, then he’ll have to take you to his secret pot of gold.”

“Can’t I just ask him nicely?” Suzzy asked, a little confused.

“Nah! They’re very protective over their gold, and they don’t give it up easily. The only way to get it is to catch him fair-and-square, and then he’ll have no choice! It’s the rules. It’s like… it’s like by catching him, it makes this automatic contract between you, or something,” Tails explained, as he took a leak right in the sacred Pool. “But like I said, they’re really hard to catch. They’ve been known to outsmart lots of Overlanders, according to legend.”

“Wow, you think they are any here on Mobius?”

“Well, we learned in class that Mobius evolved from the Overlander’s original home-planet, Earth, over thousands of years… so, there might be some left!”

“Wow… with all that gold, we and Mom would be rich! I’d love to surprise her with a big-ass crock of gold!”

“Yeah, that would be the shit,” Tails agreed, lighting a smoke. He inhaled, and began to cough his puny, inexperienced lungs out. “Can I come on your adventure?”

Suddenly, the enraged voice of none other Princess Sally Acorn could be heard, as she then appeared in front of Tails.

“Oh… hey, Aunt Sally,” Tails said, quickly chucking his cancer stick in the contaminated Pool.

Sally said not a word, but grabbed a screaming Tails by the hand, and dragged the tantrum-throwing little shit off to her hut. The sound of hand against flesh (or fur) could be heard all over Knothole, as well as Tails’ painful screams and curses.

Suzzy shrugged, and decided to sneak out of Knothole by herself.

Meanwhile, miles away in the City of Hell- otherwise known as Robotropolis- Robotnik’s sorry excuse for a lackey and bitch was forced to listen to his uncle sing Italian opera at the top of his lungs. “Um, s-s-sir… begging your pardon, Doctor Robotnik, but might not a typical beating be a more humane punishment? Or, better yet, you could just kill me. I mean, you are indeed the Master of Torture, sir… BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH!” Snively screamed, wincing and writhing on the floor. His painful screams were almost enough to drown out Uncle’s insufferable singing, but not quite.

The glass Robotnik was holding in his hand remained uncracked. “Silence, Snively! You are interrupting my grand finale!” As he continued, all the surveillance monitors smashed, and all the ‘bots in the area instantly exploded, Snively’s remaining hair fell from his head, and Robotnik’s ugly red and yellow bodysuit ripped entirely.

Finally, Robotnik stopped, and glanced at his glass in expected triumph… only to see that its state had remained unchanged, oddly enough. With a yell of rage, the naked oaf (who was oblivious to this fact, at the moment) lunged towards his whimpering nephew. “DAMN YOU, SNIVELY! This is all YOUR fault! I’LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS!” He subconsciously grasped the glass in his fist so tight that it suddenly shattered.

Robotnik gasped in shocked joy, and tears came to his eyes. “Ah, my voice… it is heavenly, is it not?” he sighed.

“Y-y-yes, sir, simply angelic,” Snively gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as tight as he could and shaking like mad.

“The acoustics here in the Command Room are most favourable, don’t you agree, Snively?” he went on arrogantly.

“Oh yes, sir! V-v-very favourable, indeed.”

Robotnik seated himself in his giant mechanical chair, still oblivious to his nudity. There was a pause for a few seconds, before he suddenly snapped, “Well, what are you standing around for, you little mutant? It’s Thursday! Get out of my sight, and go patrol the factories, before I use you for my personal seat cushion!”

“Very good, sir,” Snively squeaked, literally crawling backwards out of the room, concentrating on the floor as hard as he could.

Little Suzy was merrily skipping throughout the City, huge-ass butterfly net in hand, when all-of-a-sudden, she heard the mechanical drone of a SWATBot behind her. “ORGANIC LIFEFORM SPOTTED. FREEZE, INTRUDER.”

“Do you know where I might find any Leprechauns around here, Mr Robot?” Suzy sweetly asked the SWATbot, not seeming to care that her life was at stake. Well, little kids are idiots.

The SWATBot paused. “DOES NOT COMPUTE… SURRENDER, ORGANISM. YOU ARE NOW PRISONER OF DR. ROBOTNIK. YOU WILL BE ROBOTICIZED. RESISTANCE IS FULTILE.”

“What are you talking about? I just want to see the Leprechauns! Take me to the Leprechauns!” Suzy demanded, frowning.

Again, the SWAT’s programming seemed to freeze from confusion. “DOES NOT COMPUTE… YOU WILL COMPLY,” it finally said.

“I dun wanna! I want to see the Leprechauns! Where are the Leprechauns?” Suzy whined, pouting.

“… … … … “YOU WILL COMPLY.”

“No, no, I want to see the Leprechauns! Take me to their pot of gold! Now, now, now, now!” Suzy screamed, stamping her foot.

The ‘bot began to sizzle. “LEPER-CON… POT GOLD… DOES NOT COMPUTE… DATABANKS… SEARCHING… COMPLY… PRISIONER… YOU WILL SURRENDER LEPRECHAUN POT OF GOLD NOT COMPUTE COMPLY NOW…” The bot exploded, right then and there.

“What’s going on, here?” a nasal, strange-accented voice loudly demanded. Just then, a midget of an Overlander, dressed in green pants and turtleneck-shirt came hurrying up. Frowning, he took one angry, suspicious look at the raccoon Mobian and her net, then at the damaged SWAT. “Just what is this?” he snapped in confused outrage, tightly grabbing onto her arms. “Who are you? Where did you come from? How did you get past security? And what the bloody hell happened!” he snarled, pointing to the broken bot. He turned his back for a brief moment and moaned to himself, holding his hands to his head, “Oh, the Big Round Guy won’t like this at all…”

Just then, a surveillance orb came hovering near them. “SNIVELY!” Robotnik’s voice came from the little speaker on the side. “Have you captured the intruder?”

“Can’t you see so for yourself, you oversized whale?” Snively muttered, fighting the urge to flip the SpyEye off.

“WHAT WAS THAT, SNIVELY?”

“ Eeep! Um, I said… everything is sail, er, sailing smoothly, sir!”

Robotnik paused, before yelling “WHAT HAPPENED TO SWATBOT #604?”

Snively began to shake like mad. “Um, well, that is to say, I’m afraid I can’t say as of now, sir. I only arrived at the scene precisely a moment ago, shortly after you alerted me. I was just in the process of interrogating the intruder,” he said in his most pleasant voice, respectfully holding his hands together.

“Very well, then. Carry on. Take her to the Interrogation Chamber immediately. Perhaps our little guest has certain more vital information she wishes to share with us…”

“Yes, sir; at once,” Snively nodded.

“And, Snively… whatever you do, DON’T LET HER ESCAPE! Or I may have to find myself that new seat-cushion. Do I make myself clear?”

Snively gulped, ignoring the sweat dripping down is forehead. “No, sir, I mean, y-yes, sir, I mean- crystal-clear, sir!”

As the hover-orb floated away, Snively turned to the little girl, tightening his grip even more. “Come with me, child, I know a place where there is lots of candy. I’ll give you all the candy you want… all you have to do is talk with me for a little while… just have a nice little chat with me, and answer some simple questions of mine… now, won’t that be fun? We’ll be good friends… best friends, to the end.” He smiled evilly, and began to pull her along by the hand. “You’ll soon find, little girl, that I can be your very best friend… or I can be your very worst enemy… it’s really all up to you. As long as you tell me everything I want to know, to the best of your knowledge, we’ll get along just fine-”

Suddenly, the huge net that Suzy had been carrying had suddenly entrapped Snively and she happily began to drag him away. “WHAT ON MOBIUS? What do you think you’re doing? You’ve got it backwards- I’m supposed to be the one who captures you!” he cried, struggling to break free. He desperately began to search himself. “Blast, where the devil did I out my pocket-knife? Oh, when I get out of here, missy, there will be hell to pay!”

“Ha! Nice try, Mr. Leprechaun, but I caught you fair-and-square!” Suzy retorted, sticking out her tongue. “And it’s your gold I want, not candy.”

Snively just gaped at her. “Er… come again?”

“You can’t play dumb with me! You’re a Leprechaun, I caught you, and you’re honor-bound to give me your crock of gold!” she replied. “Those are the rules. Now, it’s time for you to live up to our contract!”

“What the blood hell? Leprechaun? Do I look like a Leprechaun to you, you little twerp?” Snively yelled impatiently, struggling to get free. “Look, I don’t have time for these infantile games and antics of yours, brat! I demand that you release me at once, before I really get mad!”

“I’ll set you free only after you take me to your pot of gold,” Suzy replied, sticking out her tongue.

“I DON’T HAVE ANY GOLD, YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRL!” Snively screamed. “AND I am NOT A LEPRECHAUN! Honestly, you’ve been reading far too many story-books! If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve really let that ‘cute, innocent’ imagination of yours run away with you!”

Suzy pouted. “I heard that all Leprechauns wear green, are midgets, and talk with a funny accent.”

“I PREFER the term, “vertically-challenged, if you don’t mind!” Snively snapped indignantly, in his snootiest tone. “And this isn’t an accent, I’ll have you know- at least not a real one. J-just ask Charlie Adler!” (A/N- the VA who did Snively in SatAM)

But little Suzy was no longer listening. Ignoring Snively’s protests, threats, and curses, she began to drag her so-called gold-mine away.

“By the way,” she naïvishly spoke up, once they were on the outskirts of the City, “you aren’t planning on “doing me” behind the counter of a bar, get me pregnant, promise to marry me, then run away once you find out I got leprosy from you? My mommy says Leprechauns are known for that… at least she says that’s what my father did.”

Snively could only blink and stutter.

“Untie me at once!” Snively was screaming, once they had reached the edge of the Great Forest. It was dark by then, but Suzy knew that the old lady was so out of it that she probably wouldn’t even notice her absence. “Ohhh, you just wait, missy! You’ll pay dearly for this!” he growled, struggling against the ropes that bound him tightly to the tree.

Suzy reached into her backpack, and pulled out a strange sort of laser-rifle. Only, it wasn’t a laser-rifle, but a…

“MEMORY-SCRAMBLER! Where on Mobius did you get that?” a terrified and shocked Snively cried.

“Robotropolis,” Suzy smugly replied. “I found it in a dumpster, along with a bunch of scrapped robot parts.”

“Do you even know what thing does?” Snively shrieked.

Suzy grinned. “Not until you just told me, a few seconds ago. I was actually planning on bluffing you into cooperation with a scare, but now I’ll just erase your memory instead.”

“NOOOOO-” Snively screamed, as he was hit.

“Crock of gold, eh?” Snively asked in a jolly Irish accent. “Oh, shore; why not? I’ll be-a fetching it for ye, wee lass! Wait here, now!” And off he skipped into the forest.

Suzy called after him, “Mind you, Leprechaun, none of your tricks! You’re honor-bound, don’t forget!”

Snively skipped along until he came to what looked like a log sticking up out of the ground, but at first he payed no heed to it. “Now, where oh where be that crock of gold?” he wondered aloud. “Where in St. Patrick’s ashes did I hide it?”

He suddenly noticed the mysterious log. “Well, glarry be, I’ll bet I hid it down heres somewhere.” He crawled into the log, and fell a long way’s down, as he then realized it was actually a secret tunnel. “Weeeeeeheeheeheeheehee!” he laughed as he tumbled down the long slide. “By St. Francis of Notre Dam‘s shillelagh, now I know this leads to me secret hidin‘-place! How devilishly clever of me, woohoohoo!”

Next thing Snively knew, he had landed on a big pile of hay. Looking around, he saw what appeared to be a quaint, small village just ahead. Fortunately, all the citizens of Knothole were asleep.

He stealthily made his way throughout the village, merrily whistling some gay tune. “Now, then, if I were a Leprechaun- and that I be indeed, oh aye- where in a place like this would I keep me gold? Oh, I swear by me four-leaf clover, I best be laying off them pints of ale for a good long spell; either that, or me old memory just ain’t what it used to be! If only I could recall what I did with it, before some other thieving’ laggard gets his filthy hands upon it, curse the very day!” He paused thoughtfully, glancing all about him, hands on hips. “Now, let me see… ‘twould have to be in a safe, inconspicuous place, misleading to the naked eye, that it ‘twould…”

Suddenly, his eyes came into contact with something gold, bright, and glowing, lighting up the entire vicinity. He was standing a few feet away from, unbeknownst to him, was the Power Ring Pool. A new Ring had just risen from deep within the water; it hovered in mid-air for a minute like a mysterious celestial body, all but blinding him with its brilliance, before quickly submerging.

“Well, glarry be…” Snively murmured to himself, whistling. “This be it, all right!” A loud snore then startled him out of his thoughts; glancing up, he noticed- for the first time- a stranger sleeping on the other side of the Pool, a few inches away from the water. In the coyote’s hand was a bottle of hard whiskey.

“An intruder! The no-account rascal, I’ll be betting all the four-leaf clovers in the land he’s after me crock of gold!” Running up to him, Snively yelled into his sleeping face, heavily puffing on his pipe, “All right, laddie, where’d ye get the money for that pint?”

Antoine, who was still half-asleep and still wasted, awoke with an almighty snort. “EEEK! NO, MON’SEUR, I AM NOT HAVING YOUR LUCKY CHARMS! PLEASE TO BE SPARING ME!”

“Play dumb with the likes of me, will ye, thief? All right, then feel the wrath of me shillelagh on yer daft noodle!” With that, Snively took his stick and began beating the crap out of poor Antoine until he passed out, screaming a string of Irish curses… then thought “Fuck this”, grabbed a reed from the bank and stuck it in his mouth, and jumped into the water. “Oh, sweet Mother Mary of Mobius, ’tis colder than a Banshee’s breath!” he yelled.

Meanwhile, on the edge of the Great Forest, little Suzy was impatiently pacing back and forth. “Oh, worra, worra, worra!” she sighed. “Oh, worra, worra, worra!”

Just then, a drenched and chilled-to-the-bone Snively came running up, and presented her with his treasure. “Here be the gold, lassy, as promised; and ye know a Leprechaun’s word is worth just as much.”

Suzy took one look inside the net, then grabbed his own shillelagh and conked him over the head. “This isn’t gold! These are Power Rings!” she yelled. “You’re not supposed to touch them; they’re a very valuable secret of ours! Go put them back, before anybody realizes they’re missing! And forget you ever found them!”

“BAH!” He set off towards Knothole again, waving his beating-stick angrily in the air. “Waste me precious time… see if I be doing’ ya any more favors!”

Once he got there, he dumped the Rings back into the pool, and began to angrily pace back and forth, giving Antoine’s unconscious ass a kick every now and then. He grabbed the remains of his liquor, gulped it down in one mouthful, then gave a loud belch before chucking the empty bottle into the water. “Oh aye, that’s the stuff…”

Just then, the sound of chickens clucking caught his attention. Following the sound, he came across a shitty-painted hen coup that was all but falling apart, and the stink that came from it was enough to make even the strongest man kill himself. But Snively didn’t even notice, for he had spotted a bucket of gold paint and a brush just outside of the coup. An idea was hatching in his mind…

Meanwhile…

“Yo, Ant, what the hell do ya think you’re doing, man?” Sonic was angrily bitching the cowardly little fag out, once he managed to rouse his worthless ass. “How many times do we gotta tell you- don’t fall asleep on the job! And we’ve told you even more times, don’t drink when it’s your watch! Maybe you so-called royal guards can get away with that shit in France or Denmark, but not here, pal! Every morning you’re piss-wasted, you stink like cheap wine, you’re covered in your own vomit, you pass out every ten minutes, and you slur like a gibbering mental patient! Way to impress your “preenzess”, Ant. You really are a mondo disgrace to the Freedom Fighters.”

“But… ze Leprechaun… ze Leprechaun with ze beeg pointy noose… he threatened to kill me if I was not handing over his Lucky Charms… then he beated me over ze head, and stole ze rest of my wine!” Antoine cried. “Oh, Sonique, you must be protecting me from ze gangstering green little Overlanders who try to mug me every night!”

Sonic growled, and Spin-dashed the retard right into the pool to sober him up. “Ant, forget the Leprechauns! There are no stupid Leprechauns!” he screamed. “And quit throwing your shit in the Power Ring Pool, already!” he added, glaring at the floating empty liquor bottle. “Now I know where Tails has been getting all his bad habits!”

“Yayyy! A fortune in gold!” Suzy cried happily, as she greedily stared into the basket which Snively had just brought back. “Thank you, Mister Leprechaun! This’ll sober up my mommy once she lays her bloodshot eyes on it!” She took off running back to Knothole.

Snively puffed away on his pipe. “Aye, Snively, me boy-o, you’ve done grand. She’s happy, and none the wiser too, and I still have me real gold… somewheres around here. Ah, wells, I’ll find it soon enough. At least she don’t know its true whereabouts, and I’ll have found it and gone long before she ever catches on. Hohohohohohehehehehee!”

Little Suzy was merrily skipping along, nearly at the secret tunnel to Knothole, tra-la-la, when- as luck would have it- she had the nerve to trip on a tree root sticking out of the ground, spilling her precious crock of gold… and causing each piece to crack open, giving off a stench far worse than her mother after she’s eaten a shitload of sauerkraut.

Meanwhile, Snively was casually leaning against a tree, smugly puffing his brains out, when a huge net suddenly ensnared him. “What be all this, then, eh? I demand that ye let me out, missy!”

“You think you’re a tricky Leprechaun, don’t you?” Suzy snapped, dragging him away furiously. “Well, I’m not falling for any more tricks! You’re sticking with me until you get me that pot of gold! Remember, I own you!”

“St. Gunther’s ass, woman! D’ye know I nearly suffocated to death in that bloody stink-house? Give a poor Leprechaun a break!”

He snapped his fingers. “Of course, by the wee marnin’! Now I remember! Me gold is hidden deep within those trees! I won’t be a minute!”

“You better be right this time, because I-” Suzy began, but all that remained was an empty net with a large hole.

Snively ran deeper into the forest, and stopped behind a tree to catch his breath. “Sakes alive, man! At least this’ll buy me some time! Now if only I knew where I really put me precious gold!”

Suddenly, the loud sound of buzzing caught his ear. He glanced upwards, only to see a large hive stick from a branch. There was a large hole in the tree where the bees flew in and out.

“Oh, the things I do to get stupid children off me poor back!” Snively moaned, as he began to climb the tree.

Meanwhile, a poor Suzy was pacing back and forth. “Oh, worra, worra, worra! I wonder what’s taking Mister Leprechaun so long…”

“OW! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF McRYAN! HELP ME, ST. FRANCIS! SHOO! GET AWAY, DAMNIT! OR FEEL THE WRATH OF ME MIGHTY SHILLEAGH, MMWHAHAHAHAHA! OWWW!”

“That sounds like him, coming from the honey trees. I wonder what he’s doing in there?” Suzy wondered aloud. “I hope he hurries.”

Finally, a swollen and stun Snively came staggering out of the trees, with a jar of enormous gold chunks. “Here’s yer damn gold, missy, now be off with ye before ya feel the back of me hand!” he growled, thrusting at her. He took off running as fast as he could.

“All right! Finally, real gold!” She reached into the jar and took out a large piece. “Ewww, it’s all sticky!” She sniffed it. “And it smells real sweet! And… it’s shaped like my favourite cereal.” She paused. “What’s that sound?”

Meanwhile, Snively was laughing all the way into the Great Forest as he heard the sound of angry bees descending upon the naïve brat, and her loud screaming. “Never be messing with us Leprechauns! Now to find me real crock of gold, without any more interruptions!”

Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Tails was busy squandering his own treasure like the minor miser-in-training that he is. “This is an awesome place to hide it!” he was saying as he greedily eyed the small wooden box he held in his hands. After quickly glancing around, he stuffed it underneath the narrow hole near the tree’s trunk. “Nobody would ever think to look here!” he laughed, running off.

Snively saw the whole thing behind a bush, a few yards away. “THE THEIF! I’ll bet anything that be MY gold he’s hiding! Well, I have to admit, that is a bloody good hiding-spot, almost worthy of a Leprechaun. Mother of Mobius, maybe that’s really my original hiding-spot all along!” he gasped.

He hurried over to the base of the tree, and pulled out the box. And upon opening it, he found…

“ME GOLD!”

“MY GOLD!”

“MY POGS!”

“MY PEBBLES!”

Snively, Suzy, and Tails all turned around to glare at the fat caveman who came bursting in out of nowhere.

“Whoops,” said Fred, “I, er, thought… er, never mind.” He ran off, and the trio could hear echos of “…Yabba-dabba-delicious!”, or something, in the near distance.

“Moving along…” Tails muttered. He turned to glare at the so-called Leprechaun. “Snively! What’re YOU doing here? Trying to find Knothole for Robotnik? Well, you’ll never find it, Slopley!”

“I dun know what you talking about, me boy-o, I just want me crock of gold!” Snively snapped, stamping his foot. “And yer the dairty thief that stole it! Don’t ye try and double-talk me! Don’t con a con, lad!”

“No! It’s MY gold!” Suzy yelled. “You big fat liar, Mister Leprechaun, you promised me you’d give me your gold! You promised! I caught you! You’re honor-bound!” she wailed, crying.

“What are you guys, nuts?” Tails asked in disbelief. “I don’t know what the heck you two are going on about, but those are my rare and valuable collection of Special Golden Edition Collector’s Pogs! I bought them with my own money! I’m hiding them, because all my friends are jealous and try to steal them. Everybody knows they’re the best pogs in the whole world- even more valuable than the Silver Edition.”

Snively took one of those mini-telescope thingies out of his pocket and held it up to his eye, then picked up a Gold Pog and closely examined it. “CURSED BE THE DAY! THE LAD’S RIGHT! IT’S NOT MY GOLD!” he screamed. He threw himself to the ground and began to throw a giant tantrum, which Suzy joined in.

All of a sudden, Snively slowly sat up, rubbing his head. “Ohhh, my head,” he moaned in his regular voice. “Wha- where am I? What on Mobius happened?” he asked, dazed.

“Uh… that’s what I’d like to know,” Tails slowly asked, frowning.

Suzy only continued to scream. “Noooo! It’s not fair! You’re honor-bound- you’re HONOR-BOUND!” she shrieked, kicking and pounding the earth.

“Wait a minute… I remember you! You’re the annoying, reality-challenged brat who won’t leave me alone!” Snively snarled. He turned to Tails. “And you! You’re that two-tailed twerp who’s always tagging after the Hedgehog! Well, I’ll “honor-bound” the both of you but good!”

The next thing the kiddies knew, they were tied tightly together. “Together, the two of you are worth more than a princess’s ransom!” he said, shrieking a little laugh at his own joke. “Ah, the perfect bait to lure both her and the Hedgehog into the palm of my hands! Once again, Snively the Great, future conqueror of all of Mobius, has accomplished what that mammoth jackass never could! Oh, I can’t wait to see the look on his fat, unbearable face when I deliver all the Freedom Fighters to those feet I’ve kissed and cleaned God-knows-how-many-times!” he sneered. “Oh, things are really starting to look up for me this time! I can’t fail now!”

All of a sudden- BAM! Snively was painfully knocked flat on his back, and was seeing stars. “Duh, hello, Mummsy, can I have some chocolate now? I been good,” he muttered in a dazed, goofy voice.

“LEPER-CON! I KNEW IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE I MET ONE OF YOU PEOPLE AGAIN!” Ms. Racoon roared, as she swung he heavy purse for another blow. “Filthy, vile, diseased scum of the earth! You dare try to besmirch my innocent little girl’s honor?” she screamed. “I’LL KILL YOU, YOU SICK LITTLE BASTARD!”

With a loud shriek, Snively began running the hell out of the Great Forest as fast as he could, with an angry drunken 300-pound mamma hot on his trail, waving her purse after him.

Tails just blinked in confused astonishment, not saying anything for a few minutes. Turning to Suzy, he finally asked, “So, uh… you wanna play Pogs?”

“Sure… as long as we play for keeps!” Suzy grinned.

“NO WAY! Geez, now I REALLY gotta find a new place to hide them!” Tails said, smacking a hand to his forehead. “I only hope I don’t totally forget where I hide them next time!”

THE END

This has been a Shychick Production!