Disclaimer- Do I own anything? That’s bull.

A/N- This story takes place right after the SatAM episode, “Blast to the Past, Part 1.” (I don’t know if you’ve seen it, or not... but whatever. Well, when you review, let me know; just curious, is all.). Anyway, in that episode, it shows the origin of the Freedom Fighters, how Julian became Robotnik, how he took over the city of Mobotropolis... and how his own nephew, Snively, became his lackey. (Oh yeah, and I was also inspired by the new episodes of Ren and Stimpy, “Man’s Best Friend”, “Ren Seeks Help”, and the classic episode, “Big-House Blues”.)

“Who do you think you are to question my authority, Snively?” Robotnik growled, grabbing his kin by the green turtle-neck shirt he always wore.

“B-b-but, Uncle Julian!” Snively (who still had hair, during this point in time) was whining, “I’m afraid I don’t understand what exactly you mean. Why do you say I was questioning your authority? I merely inquired as to what should happen if Naugus may find a way to open the Void? After all, he is the one who designed and created it, in the first place... and he is a very powerful wizard, at that... s-s-so I was just wondering as to why exactly you don’t think he could easily escape its walls? With all due respect, Uncle Julian, don’t you think it would’ve been wiser to dispose of him in another fashion- if it even is possible to eliminate him? And besides, when- I mean, if Naugus does figure out how to open the Void, the conscequences would be most severe... as he did promise, only seconds ago, right before you sent him into the Void’s realm,” Snively added with a chuckle, as he recalled how Naugus had transformed his head into that of a crow’s, as a warning of what would happen to him if he had any thoughts of betrayal while he was doing temporary research of the Void... little knowing that Robotnik would permanently seal him inside.

“First of all, you will never question my actions or orders, you insubordinate little monkey!” Robotnik snapped, who had just finished off a few glasses of Captain Morgan’s Rum to celebrate his very first victory ever. “I am not only your lord and master now, but I am also the greatest damn evil genuis in all of history- and you are not only the little insignificant lackey, but you are also a very, very ignorant little boy! Secondly, you disrespectful do-do-head, I’ve told you earlier- never refer to your master as your uncle anymore; from now on, you will only address me as “sir”! Thirdly, how dare you laugh- or even so much as smirk- at the great and powerful Dr. Robotnik!”

“Nnnyes, sirrrr,” Snively whinned out in his adorable nasel voice, pronouncing it “sah” as he always does with his sweet British accent, thirstily eyeing Robotnik’s bottle of alcohol. “Of course, Doctor...”

“Good. Now, go gather my new SWATbots... we’ve got one hell of a big-ass invasion to commence! Let’s get this Coup shit underway! NOW GO!” Robotnik screamed, cracking a whip at Snively, who instantly took off running to do as he was bid, like the good little bitch that Robotnik wanted him to be.

Robotnik shook his head and sighed, now that he was alone. “I must say, I don’t approve of that naughty little stinker’s attitude in the least- I can see, all to well, where it is leading to! It’s as they say, “Spare the rod, and spoil the child”... he’s got to learn of his true place, right from the very start; otherwise, he’ll develop some crazy notion that he’s got this sense of power and control over me! WELL, I’LL SHOW HIM WHO’S BOSS!” he roared.

He glanced down at his Bill Cosby book on Family and Discipline, then chucked it into the furnace. “Bah!”

But then, he noticed this article in his annual “Lackey Owners for Evil Doctors” magazine! “What’s this?” he asked, grabbing up the magazine and reading the title of the article. “‘How to Properly Train your Personal Lackey- Five Simple Rules for Turning him into Mad Doctor’s Best Flunky’,” he read, a thoughtful look spreading accross his fat face. “Hmmm...”

Meanwhile, down in the War Room, Snively was busy screaming at the SWATbots, wearing a general’s helmet. “All right, you bitches! You know the Fat-Ass’s orders! Now, LEZ DO DIS SHIT ALREADY! MOVE OUT YOUR SORRY, STINKIN’ METAL HIDES, BEFORE I FRIGGIN’ SCRAP THE BLOODY LOT OF YOU!” He cracked a whip at them, and they took off running.

And thus began the reign of Robotnik and his many bitches...

Chapter 1- ‘Paper Training’

“YOU CALL THIS A REPORT?!” Robotnik yelled, crumpling up the paper on Factory Efficiency that Snively had worked so hard on. (He had stayed up hours into the night.)

“B-but, sir, what exactly is wrong with it?” Snively cried, shivering in fear. “I made sure to include all the necessary information during my patrol, and-”

Robotnik grabbed his little kin by the shirt, causing him to yelp like a frightened puppy. “I’m-not-talking-about-the-actual-data-in-the-report-itself,-you-little-piglet,” he growled, gritting his teeth.

Snively looked confused. “W-well, sir, then what precisely do you mean? What have I done wrong?”

Robotnik smoothed out the crumpled sheet of paper. “THIS, you disgusting wretch! Just LOOK at the mess you’ve made!” He pointed to a large brown stain upon the paper. “What is the meaning of this, Snively? Have we had a little accident?”

Snively gasped. “Oh, my! I must’ve spilled some coffee on the report by mistake! I- I was so tired, I’d failed to even noticed it!” He gulped, backing away from Robotnik’s advancing form. “N-now, sir... it was an accident! I appolgize! I- I’ll do better next time, I swear! Give me another chance; after all, I am still learning!” he cried, pleading on his knees.

Robotnik then proceeded to punish Snively by rubbing his long nose in the brown liquid-stain on the paper. “Now, go outside and do your business!”

“Y-yes, sir,” Snively sighed as he left to try again... patrol all the factories all over again, and then re-type a new report, that is.

Chapter 2- ‘Obeying Commands’

“Snively, come!” ordered Robotnik.

Snively came.

“Stay!”

He stopped in his tracks.

“Sit!”

Snively sat.

“Fetch the paper!” Robotnik ordered.

Snively hurried to fetch the day’s status report, printed off fresh from the computer.

“Speak!”

Snively spoke. “Dr. Robotnik is the greatest mind in the entire universe!”

Robotnik nodded in approval. “Not bad... though your grovelling does need work. Well, no matter- tomorrow, your training intensifies...”

Snively looked eager. “May I have my reward now, Dr. Robotnik?”

“Oh, brother... you want a treat for everytime you do sometime right?” Robotnik muttered, rolling his eyes. “Oh, very well; here then.” He held a cookie over Snively’s head, who eagerly licked his lips. “Jump for the cookie, boy! Jump!”

Robotnik roared in wicked laughter as he continued to taunt his poor little nephew with the ‘ol “Here you go... just kidding/Okay, this time I’m really going to give it to you... not!” trick. As high as Snively tried to jump, Robotnik would only hold the tasty prize higher from his reach.

Snively debated leaping up and biting his master’s hand, but in the end, he only broke down crying. He curled up on the floor, and began to- literally- whimper like a little puppy.

“Oh, fine! Fetch!” Robotnik threw the sugary delight across the room, and Snively eagerly scampered after it, tongue hanging out of his mouth in anticipation.

Robotnik began to take a bite out of his big-ass club sandwich, but Snively crawled over to his master’s chair, hopefully eyeing the sandwich. He gave him a sad puppy-dog look, whimpered, and placed a pleading hand onto his knee.

Robotnik smacked him in the face with a rolled-up magazine. “Down! No begging!” He pointed to a rusty bowl of Purina Lackey Chow. “There’s your food! Now, shoo!”

Whmpering sadly, Snively crawled over to his dish. “Well, I suppose I’m eating what I’m worth...”

Robotnik stood up and left the room, mentioning that he was going to check on his latest experiment down in his private laboratory.

The instant he was gone, Snively leaped up onto his chair...

“SNIVELY!” Robotnik had suddenly returned. “You dare sit in my chair?! Bad boy! Down!” He smacked Snively with the rolled-up magazine, who yelped and scurried off to hide. From his hiding spot under the computer console, he slowly peeked out, whimpering and shaking.

“And don’t ever let me catch you sitting in my chair again, you disobedient little rascal! You must learn your place!” Robotnik yelled afer him.

Snively trembled on the floor, hands over eyes.

Chapter 3- ‘Grooming’

(A/N: This scene takes place shortly after Sonic makes Snively lose his hair in “Blast to the Past, Part 2".)

“I see we’re shedding, Snively?” Robotnik asked cruelly, walking up to the computer monitors to get a better look at the escaped prisioners.

Snively whimpered, and put an embarrassed hand over his now-bald head.

Suddenly, Robotnik gasped. “Good heavens- you’ve... you’ve shed your hair!” He quickly consulted his handy-dandy lackey-owner’s book. “It says here that some lackeys are prone to shedding most of their hair, shortly after they’ve begun to adapt to their new life-style.” He shrugged. “Ah, well... nothing to fret about.”

Snively began to sob. Chucking down his mirror, he fled from the room.

Chapter 4- The Attack-Lackey

Robotnik had prepared an android version of Sonic. “All right, Snively- let’s try it once more. Who is your enemy?” He held the growling, forthing Snively by the end of a chain-leash.

Sonic the Hedgehog,” growled the vicious little lackey, whose few hairs were standing on end.

“And what must you do?”

“I must... DESTORY him!”

“Very good... attack!” Robotnik released Snively from the leash, and he dove for the robotic Hedgehog duplicate. Snarling, he pounced.

Robotnik watched in approval as several nuts and bolts went flying. “Excellent, Snively! I have taught you well.” He moaned happily. “Ohhh... doesn’t that feel just marvellous? Yes, my pet, yes; that’s it... DISMANTLE THAT MISERABLE PINCUSHION!”

But Snively had suddenly noticed a loose thread hanging from the seat of his pants, and was now engaged in chasing it ‘round and ‘round in a circle.

Robotnik growled, and rolled up his newspaper...

Chapter 5- Discipline

“It’s discipline that begets love, Snively!” Robotnik roared, as he continued to beat and thrash poor Snivvy with a whip. “It was your failure that led to my loss... and so, you must assume responsibility for your actions, and take your punishment! YOU’VE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME!”

A series of painful yelps arose from the little lackey’s lips. He howled in pain.

“THIS-” Wack! “- is for failing to stop the Hedgehog again! And THIS-” -Thwack! “- is for howling at the moon every damn night, and keeping me awake!”

All of a sudden... Snively got this crazed look in his eye, as something then snapped in his brain. He began foaming at the mouth, snarling like a rabid dog, and his hairs were even standing on end. Growling, he began to slowly advance on his cruel master.

“Wh-what are you doing, you ungrateful little whelp?! No! Stop! After all I’ve done for you... R-r-remember who raised you, now!” Robotnik gulped, backing away, trying not to let his fear show through.

But it was too late. The snarling, frothing Snively pounced onto Robotnik, and began biting and clawing like there was no tomorrow, his eyes red as blood.

“HELP! SECURITY!” Robotnik screamed, who had just gotten his un-roboticized hand bitten right off!

A couple of SWATBots burst into the room to help him subdue the little beast, Stun Guns ready and armed. They finally somehow managed to zap the mad lackey, stuffed him into a bag, and hurried off down to the Examining Room to check him for rabies... but not before losing some limbs of their own.

The snarling, rabid Snively, who was more out of control than ever, was now firmly strapped down to a metal table.

Over in the corner, one of the MediBots (Medical-Bots) had just finished analysing the blood and urine samples it had gotten from Snively while he was unconscious. “Test-results-are-in. Subject-is-rabid. We-must-put-him-to-sleep at once,-by-order-of-Robotnik.”

But as the ‘bot turned around with the needle in it’s hand, it found that Snively was gone... as well as the fact that the straps on the table were broken, and the window was wide open.

Unfortunately for him, Snively hadn’t gotten far. The lackey-catcher had caught him, and brought him down to the lackey pound.

Poor Snively lay in his cell, whimpering in fright. But all of a sudden, he heard a little girl’s voice squeal in delight, “Oooo, Mommy, Mommy, I want that one! Can we take it home with us, please?”

Snively found himself being grabbed from his cell, and placed into the kid’s arms. The brat happily skipped out of the pound, lovingly holding her new pet close to her. “Oh, he’s adorable! I’m going to name you Snuggles; and I’m going to love you, and kiss you, and fix you, and everything!”

“Snuggles”- now wearing a wool sweater ten times too big for him, and little red bows on each of his hairs- sighed. “Oh, I hate my lii-i-ife!”

THE END!

Sings How much is that lackey in the window?

Snively: Holding up a sign which reads “Is in need of a loving home.”

This has been a Shychick Production... brought to you by the Robotropolis SPCA! Adopt a lackey today!