Disclaimer- Do I own the rights to “StH”? Uhhh… what do you think?

It all started on a Monday morning…

On that particular morning, Snively was busy painting the walls in one of the hallways. Robotnik had come up with the “brilliant” idea of painting the entire interior of the Death Egg red. “The color of blood,” he had said with an evil gleam in his eyes. And of course he had put the job entirely in his little lackey’s hands alone.

“I don’t know WHERE the Big Round Guy gets these ridiculous notions!” Snively snapped, as he spread another coating of red paint over the wall. “He has to be the most unpredictable person I have ever known! One morning he wakes up and he just, right out of the blue, decides that the entire place needs to be painted, for absolutely no reason whatsoever!” He snorted and dipped the paint brush back inside the can. “Old Lord of Lard is probably just doing this for the sole purpose of making me suffer,” he muttered under his breath. “What on Mobius does he think I am anyway, an interior decorator?” He groaned, as he suddenly realized the huge task that still lay ahead of him. “And I’m still not even close to being finished! It’s going to take me the rest of the week to finish this whole place… with my luck, the rest of the month!” He moaned. “Oh, at times like this, I grow so jealous of that Hedgehog’s incredible speed! As much as I hate to admit it…” He continued to paint away. By this time, his once-green uniform was now covered with red paint stains. “Look at this!” he cried in outrage. “I’ve ruined my best uniform! Oh, I just know these wretched stains will be no easy task to get out! I should’ve known better than to wear my good work uniform while painting!” He buried his face into his hands and moaned loudly. “Why me?”

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the toxic paint fumes were really starting to get to him by this point. They filled his nostrils, causing him to feel extremely nauseous, light-headed, and dizzy. “Ohhh, I’m getting a headache,” he moaned. “Why couldn’t that old windbag have chosen non-toxic paint? Ohhh…” He was starting to have trouble breathing. Coughing and wheezing, he crawled away, trying to locate an air duct so that he could get his much-needed source of air.

Suddenly, the pupils of Snively’s eyes greatly enlarged, taking up over half the space of his eyeball. He glanced around, dazed. “Heyyy…” he said slowly, “what’s happening to meee? I feel straaaange…” Suddenly, a weird grin slowly crept onto his face, as he inhaled the deadly toxins. “Heyyy… the walls are all red…” he mused, as if he’d just noticed this for the first time. “Red, red, everything’s all red! The world’s gone all red!” He glanced down at himself. “Even I’m all red! Wo-o-ow! This is wild and exciting!” The now-stoned little man staggered down the hall, muttering “Red, red, red, red…”

Suddenly, he bumped right into Dr. Robotnik. He slowly glanced up at his uncle’s huge form, dazed. “Ehhh… Wha? What is this? An enormous… red… mountain! Wowww, even the mountain’s red!”

“Hello, Snively,” Dr. Robotnik said in a calm, yet deadly voice, as he stared down at his little nephew. “And just where do you think you are going? I take it you’ve finished painting all the walls…?”

Snively just stared up at Robotnik, not making out a word of what he was saying. From his messed-up point of view, Robotnik was really going, “Whomp, wom, wom, whomp, wom, whomp”, just like the adults in those Peanuts cartoons. Snively’s vision was also terribly distorted, so Robotnik looked even bigger than usual to him, plus the whole sight of him looked all blurry and out-of-focus. “Eeeee… how amazing… a talking red mountain!”

“Snively! Did you hear a word I’ve just been saying?” Robotnik snapped impatiently. (“Whomp-whomp! Whomp, wom, wom, whomp, whomp?”)

“GAH! The red mountain must want to eat me! MUST RUN AWAY!!” Snively took off running in the opposite direction. “I WON’T LET THE EVIL MOUNTAIN DIGEST MEEEE!!” He ran down the red-painted halls, screaming like a maniac. He suddenly stopped and looked at the walls. “RED! I SEE MUCH RED! MUST… ESCAPE… EVIL COLOR!” He turned the corner and ran down another hallway, only to see all the walls painted red too. “ARRGGHH!! MORE RED! IS THERE NO ESCAPE?!” he screamed, as he turned down another hallway, only to see that it was red as well. “NO-O-O-OOO!! Everywhere I turn, I run into the redness! I cannot escape it! It’s everywhere! I’m surrounded on all sides! It’s closing in! It’s following me, no matter where I go! It’s chasing me!” He glanced around in horror at all the red, as the hall seemed to spin around him. “The hallway is spinning! I’m getting dizzy!” he cried. He gasped, clapping his palms to the sides of his head. “Oh, dear God! The entire world has turned all one color- RED! Maybe the entire UNIVERSE has turned red too! The red has come to take over! Everything and everyone in it’s path it touches will be turned red as well!” Gasping, he glanced down at his red-stained outfit. “NOOO!! I HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY THE EVIL RED! IT SURELY WANTS TO DEVOUR ME WHOLE! JUST LIKE “THE BLOB”! HE-E-E-ELLLP!!” he screamed, as the hallway started spinning around faster than ever. Than everything went dark.

The next thing Snively knew when he woke up, he was floating in the clouds. “Wha- where am I now?” he wondered aloud. He glanced around and realized that there were puffy white clouds floating all around him. “Ahhh… this is so peaceful and relaxing…” Snively said as he settled back onto the cloud he was on.

He floated by the sun. “Hello there, Mr. Sunshine,” he called out, waving. The sun smiled and winked at him.

Suddenly, he passed by the beginning of a rainbow. He leaped off the cloud, and slid down the rainbow like a slide. “Wheeee!” he called gleefully all the way down. The next thing he knew, he had landed in a big pot of gold. A tiny Leprechaun suddenly popped up next to him. “Top ‘o the marnin’ to ya, laddie,” the Leprechaun said cheerfully, as cheerful Irish music started playing from out of nowhere. “I be the Guardian ‘o the Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow, aye, that I am!”

“I seeee…” Snively said, as his pupils enlarged even more. “It’s so nice to finally have company! I’ve been alone for such a dreadfully long time now!” He smiled, and extended his hand for a handshake. “Let us be chums than!” he said to the little green toxic-paint-inspired hallucination. “So now that we’re buddies and all, what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, yes?” He eagerly eyed the glittering gold as a couple of dollar signs clicked in his eyes, accompanied by the sound of a cash resister ding in the background.

At this, the Leprechaun suddenly bared sharp, pointy teeth and snarled, foaming at the mouth. Startled, Snively shrieked and took off running for his life through the field of four-leaf clovers that seemed to stretch on for miles ahead of him.

Suddenly, Snively felt himself falling… falling… falling…

Snively woke up in a local city Dumpster in Robotropolis, surrounded by discarded robot parts and pieces. He groaned and rubbed his head wearily. “Ohhh,” he moaned, “my aching head! Where- where am I?” He glanced around at his surroundings and peeked out of the top of the bin. “What’s going on? How on Mobius did I wind up here?” he asked, confused. “The last thing I recall was painting the interior of the Death Egg… than I remember inhaling the toxic fumes from the paint… the rest is all kind of a blur, like a dream or something…” Shaking his head to clear it, he crawled out of the Dumpster and hurried back inside, wondering just what took place after he inhaled those fumes.

The next day…

“Yes, I just love manual back-breaking labor so much!” Snively said sarcastically, as he scrubbed the floors of one of the SWATBot factories with a toothbrush. This was his punishment for his unruly behavior from the day before. “So very, very, much!” he snapped.

As Snively scrubbed away at the floor, he noticed the warning labels on the bottle of liquid cleaner. It read, “Warning: Highly toxic chemical.”

“Bah!” Snively was so frustrated that he knocked over the bottle with his hand. The contents spilled out everywhere, it’s powerfully-toxic fumes already rising up from the floor to greet Snively’s nostrils. “Ohhh, nooo,” he moaned, as he started to get dizzy and lightheaded. “Not again…” He quickly hurried to cover his mouth and nose to protect himself from the deadly toxin, but it was too late. The side-effects of the chemical had seeped past the insides of his nostrils and up into his brain. He suddenly began to slowly lose all logic and reasoning, as the pupils of his eyes enlarged…

THE END

I got the idea for this fic from near the end of the “No Brainer” episode. You know the scene where Sonic’s like, “See ya, Shrimp-boat!” and Snively’s like, “Bye, old buddy! I mean, Sonic… magnificent…” I laughed my ass off at that because I thought he looked and sounded very stoned! Anyway, I’m outta here for now! Later!

This has been a Shychick Production!