Disclaimer- Austin Powers voice Do I really have to say this one more time?

A/N- All characters are portrayed completely OOC, but I intended that, and I’m not dissing, bashing, or making fun of anybody. Cool? Cool!

It started on a Monday afternoon, when Robotnik was getting ready to leave for his trip to search for Knothole. After a SWATBot had finished getting his hovercraft all ready, he roared, “SNIVELY!!” in a great booming voice that made the whole scene kinda rumble.

Snively was standing a few feet away, listening to ‘Get Down’ by the Backstreet Boys on his portable discman, so he didn’t hear his master’s call. “Get down, get down, and move it all around,” he sang, dancing Pop-style to the beat. “Oh, you’re the one for me, you’re my ecstasy, the only one I need...”

Robotnik stormed over and ripped the headphones from his nephew’s ears. “SNIVELY!” he screamed. “Damn it all, what have I told you about listening to that crap and singing it in my presence?”

Snively blinked. “Uh... Pop singers are evil and they want to take over the world with their tasteless lyrics, sir?” he asked stupidly.

“Precisely, nephew,” Robotnik replied with a nod.

“But sir, I thought you wanted to take over the world too,” Snively said, confused.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” Robotnik screamed in his face. “Now then, I have come to inform you that I am leaving to search for Knothole now. Remember, if anything goes wrong, for any reason-”

Snively blinked in a stupid fashion. “Um... you’ll confiscate all my CDs for the weekend, sir?”

“That’s right,” Robotnik cooed in the same voice you’d use with a five-year-old. “And remember Snively, what are you not going to have while I am away?”

“Um... unprotected sex, sir?”

“That, and most importantly... NO WILD PARTIES!” Robotnik said firmly.

Snively looked unhappy. “Well, what about a par-tay, sir?”

“No parties, no par-tays, no shing-digs, no alcohol, no drugs, no loud music, no sex, NO FUN!” Robotnik roared. “You know very well that fun of any sort are against my laws, Snively!”

“No parties and no beer make Snively something, something,” Snively muttered.

“And no more watching The Simpsons, as well!” Robotnik yelled over the roar of the hovercraft’s engineas he took to the skies and flew away. “I’LL BE BACK!!”

Once Robotnik was out of sight, Snively grinned and said, “Well, Julian, all work and no play makes Snively a dull boy, doesn’t it?” Laughing his high-pitched laugh, he rubbed his hands together slyly. Then he called a team of SWATBots and ordered them to make the proper arrangements. So much to do and so little time... he had a party to plan!

Meanwhile, in the village of Knothole...

“Keg party, to determine the drunkest on Mobius. Free alcohol to the winner. Tomorrow at 14:00 hours. Come one, come all! Sonic read from the flyer he had found posted in Robotropolis that day. He looked up from the paper and rolled his eyes. “Man, who’s ‘ol Shrimpboat kidding?” he asked with a laugh. “He already knows who can get drunk the fastest!”

“It’s you, huh, Sonic?” Tails eagerly asked from his sitting-position on the ledge of the bridge.

“You got it, big guy,” Sonic grinned, giving his little bud the thumbs-up sign.

Sally, who always served as the voice of reason, just rolled her eyes. “Sonic, you know you’ve really got to lay off the drinking. Uh... besides, what if it’s just a trap?”

“Yeah... Slimely must think I’m really stupid!” Sonic said. “I’ll out-drink that little dweeb, no prob’!”

Sally shook her head. “Uh-huh... you’re kidding, right?”

“I’m kidding, wrong!” Sonic insisted firmly. “I can down anything that Snively has!”

Sally still wasn’t convinced. “What about your “No beer for a month” promise you made to me?” she demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

“Uh... actually, I said “No deer for a month”. Besides, it’s cool! It’s just for one night only! C’mon, Sal’, live a little!” Sonic said.

Sally sighed. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Sonic; drinking can really hurt you!”

Sonic shrugged. “Hey- I’m still here, aren’t I? No prob’!” He grinned. “I got the juice...”

In the end, Sonic managed to talk Sally into coming to the party, saying that she really needed a break, seeing as how she always worked so hard. He also finally talked her into letting Tails go too... on the conditions that he did not touch any alcohol, as he was under-age, and that Sonic would bring him home if the party got too outta hand. (You know- sex, drugs, strippers, etc.) Pretty soon, word spread around Knothole and there eventually wasn’t a citizen/Freedom Fighter in the villiage who didn’t know about the party and wasn’t coming...

The night of the party, Robotnik’s headquarters, 7:00 PM...

‘Who Let the Dogs Out?’ was playing full-blast down in the Control Room, courtesy of a SWATBot who was acting as the DJ. The alcohol was flowing like river water. And everybody was getting completely drunk off their ass.

Sonic and Tails were having a belching contest, Sally and Bunnie were flirting with some random Freedom Fighter dude, Antoine was having a gay old time flying around the room on Dulcy’s back and being violently sick to his stomach, and Rotor was break-dancing. The formerly-evil wizard, Lazar (who only appeared in the SatAM episode, Super Sonic) was holding Snively by the ear and ringing a bell. “Boy for sale!” he called out loudly. “Boy for sale!”

“Uh, is this legal?” asked poor Snively.

“Only here and in the Mississippi,” Lazar replied. Just then he suddenly screeched, “My precious is lost! Stole my precious, they did!”

“Yo, Gramps, chill, would ya?” Sonic said, frowning. “What are you even talking about?”

“My Computer, little thief! Stole my precious, you did! My Computer you wants to steal!”

“Nobody is gonna steal your damn precious Computer of magic spells, you Lord of the Rings-obsessed, paranoid freak!” Sonic yelled. “And quit calling me “little thief” already! The name is “Sonic”!”

Suddenly, Gandalf from TLotR showed up from out of nowhere. “You are a worse disgrace to the Wizard’s Council than Saruman the White!” he said to Lazar. “Now, I think you had better come along with me.”

Suddenly, Lazar transforms into Gollum! (Or Smeagol, whatever ya wanna call that little guy!) SURPRISE, SURPRISE! He scampers over to Sonic, reaches into his backpack, and grabs out a Power Ring. “MY PRECIOUS! MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!” Gollum screeches, staring at the golden Ring. He said to himself, “We had better make haste, my precious, yes, we must leave before they gets us and takes my birthday present away again.” He then toodles away with Sonic’s Power Ring, hissing and growling at all in his path. “MAKE WAY FOR THE PRECIOUS! NO TOUCH! IT’S MINE... IT CAME TO ME... MY OWN... MY LOVE...” Pretty soon, he vanished into the crowd, the quick little bugger.

“FUCK!” yelled Gandalf angrily, and stormed off.

“Aw, whatever, no sweat. Good thing I remembered to bring along an extra Power Ring before I left,” Sonic shrugged.

“Oh, watch out, watch out, here it comes... OH!!” the crowd screamed as the stupid blonde cheerleader ditz in the horror movie just bought it. (The gang was now gathered around watching Halloween on Robotnik’s monitors, with popcorn and everything.)

“When do we see Jamie Lee Curtis’s breasts? I wanna see Jamie Lee’s breasts!” Rotor yelled.

“Breasts? Not until Trading Places in ‘83,” Snively, the horror-flick expert responded from his seat in Robotnik’s throne. “She never showed her tts ‘till she went legits!” he added with a grin.

“She could afford a decent pair,” muttered Sally.

“What did you say?” Snively asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bunnie was looking through all of Snively’s horror-videos. “Why is Jamie Lee Curtis in all these?” she asked.

“Cause she’s the... Scream Queen,” Sonic whispered with a grin.

Rotor chuckled. “With a set of lungs like that, she should be!”

Sally just rolled her eyes. “Tts. See?”

“See, Jamie Lee was always the virgin is these films. That’s why she was always able to outsmart the killer in the big chase scene at the end,” Snively was saying. “Don’t you know the rules?”

“What rules?” Dulcy blinked.

Snively couldn’t believe it. “What rules?! Cripes, you don’t know the rules?!” He put his beer down, stood up, and paused the tape.

“Have an aneurysm, why don’t ya?” Sonic muttered.

Snively stood up in front of the crowd. “There are certain rules you must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie!” he lectured. “For instance- you can never have sex.”

The crowd booed loudly and pelted him with popcorn. “Big no-no! Big no-no!” he shouted over the booing crowd. “Sex equals death! Secondly- you can never drink or do drugs.”

The crowd shouted their disapproval and proudly clinked their beer bottles together. Snively sighed and clinked his glass with somebody. “It’s the Sin Factor; it’s an extension of #1!” he said. “And most importantly- never, ever, under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back”... because you won’t be back!”

Rotor stood up. “I’m gonna go get another beer; you want one?” he asked Snively.

“Yeah, sure,” Snively replied.

Rotor backed out of the room, arms straight out like a zombie. “I’LL BE RIGHT BACK!” he yelled, causing a huge “OHHH!!” reaction from the crowd.

Snively sighed. “See, you push the laws and you end up dead! Okay, buddy, I’ll see you in the kitchen with a knife!”

Sally turned to Sonic. “Sonic, I think this movie is too scary,” she said.

“Aw, come on, Sal’! The big guy’s cool with it, aren’t you, Tails?” Sonic protested.

“No problem!” Tails grinned.

“Actually, I was referring to Antoine,” Sally said, gesturing to the terrified French coyote, who was cowering on the floor in fright. “Ve-ge-ve-ge-ve-gul!” Antoine whimpered, sweating. Sonic just burst out laughing at this.

Just then, the doorbell suddenly ran, causing everybody to scream in fright. Antoine leaped into Sally’s arms, terrified. “Er... ‘allo,” he blushed. “Eet vas jeest a clever way to get een your arms, my preencess.” Nervously, he called out, “W-w-w-who eez zere?”

“You fool!” Snively snapped. “You should never say, “Who’s there?”! Don’t you watch scary movies? It’s a death wish! You might as well just go out there to investigate a strange noise, or something!”

“Damnit, quit quoting lines from Scream!” Sonic yelled, annoyed. “It’s getting mondo old fast!”

Just then, in strolled Manic and Sonia from SU. “Hey, guys! We’re here!” Sonia said in her horrible screechy Steve Eurkel voice, activating her keyboard.

“Hey, bro, where should we, like, set up our instruments?” Manic asked Sonic, activating his drum-set.

“What the hell?! Who said you guys could come? You weren’t invited!” Sonic yelled. (A/N: Sorry, but I just hate SU, all right? Deal with it.)

“SONIKUE!!” Amy Rose from the SA games screamed as she raced up and hugged Sonic. “Ya wanna dance, honey?”

“Where the hell did you come from, Amy?” Sonic cried, shoving her off him. “Look, babe, I told you before- Sal’s my main squeeze, not you! So learn to live with it, sister!” (A/N: S&S forever! I don’t give a flying frig what you guys think, that’s my opinion! So like Sonic just said, learn to live with it!)

Amy Rose, Sonia, and Manic all started protesting loudly. They each picked up the broken end of a beer bottle and advanced on Sonic, who gulped. “Whoa, chill, guys! It ain’t even my party, it’s Snively’s! Talk to short, bald, and ugly over there!” he said, jerking a thumb in Snively’s direction. So the three disgruntled hedgehogs advanced with their jagged weapons on Snively.

“Well, really now! That’s unsuitable behaviour! Security, chuck these punks outta here!” Snively snapped, signaling a team of SWATBots to come and remove the trio from the premisis. Then they chucked their mallet, keyboard, drum-set, and beer bottles out after them.

“Well, my friends, the night is young!” Snively announced, slapping a hand on the arm-rest of his uncle’s chair. “Let’s booze it ‘till we freakin’ lose it, man!” he screamed, standing up on Robotnik’s seat. Right after he said that, dozens of balloons and streamers suddenly started floating down from the ceiling and fanfare was sounded by noisemakers. You’d think it was New Years, or something.

Everybody cheered loudly, and the alcohol flow suddenly increased...

Well, let’s see, what do we got here...?

The entire gang was gettin’ down to those Dance-Dance Revolution games to rave music, and Snively was running all around the room like a maniac, spray-painting, “Snively rules, Robotnik drools” and “All hail Snively the Great” on all the walls. “I GOTS DA POWER, FOOL!” he screamed to nobody in particular. “IN YO’ FACE, PUNK! IN YO’ MAMA’S FACE, SUCKAH!!”

“HUMPTY-DOOOO!!” Dulcy screamed as she and the whole m’fuckin’ ceiling suddenly came crashing down from above, as she had been hanging upside-down from her tail on a ceiling lamp the entire time.

At that moment, Dr. Robotnik entered the room, home from his trip. “Well, Snively, I’m back; I trust everything went all right- GADZOOKS!!” He had come in only to find his ceiling destroyed, the Freedoms Fighters all partying to Dance-Dance Revolution, one unconscious dragon lying on his floor, and Snively spray-painting his walls and acting like some hood from the “West Side”.

“SNIVELY!!” Robotnik boomed. “WHAT ON MOBIUS IS THIS?!”

Snively came staggering up to Robotnik, drunk as anything, cigarette in hand. “Yo, uncy, ‘sup, my brother?” he said to his uncle. “Me ‘n my homies ‘n posse from da Wes’ Side were just doin’ our thang, ya know?” (A/N: Hmm, why am I getting flashbacks of the end of the SatAM episode, No Brainer? Lol!)

Robotnik roughly shoved Snively with his huge stomach, sending him flying smack into the wall. “Why, I do believe that it’s time for that paperweight I’ve always wanted...” he growled. He grabbed up Snively by the back of his green shirt. “Any last words, Snively?!”

At that moment, Deputy Barney Fife from The Andy Griffith Show burst in, trusty gun in hand. “All right, everybody freeze!” he screamed. “Mayberry police!” He took out his ticket book and started writing out a whole shitload of tickets. “We’ve been watching you people veeery closely, and we’ve gotten several noise complaints down at the station from the locals about you and your little fiesta here!” He glanced over at Tails, who was staggering around with a can of Bud-Lite in his hand. “Well, well... under-age kid drinking beer, huh? That’s goin’ right in the ‘ol ticket book!” He shook his head. “Back in Mayberry, we don’t even have this problem with Sheriff Taylor’s boy, Opie; not even when he’s around local drunks like Otis!” He glanced over at the remains of the ceiling. “Ohhh, I sure hope you’re insured, mac!” he said to Robotnik. He stood there, hands on hips. “All right, who’s the wise guy in charge of this little wing-ding?” he demanded.

Everybody immediately pointed to Snively, who gulped. “Um, er, uh...” he stammered, converting back to his chicken-shit state.

“All right, I’ve heard enough! That’s all the evidence I need!” Deputy Fife said, slapping a pair of handcuffs onto Snively’s wrists. “You’re comin’ with me, mac! We’re going for a little ride down-town...”

As Snively was shoved towards the door, Sonic and everybody else each thanked him in turn for such a swell time, patting him on the back and giving him the thumbs-up sign. Then they all jammed back to Knothole.

Ironlock Prison, the Dark Swamp...

Snively sat alone on in the dark, damp cell-room of the old, abandoned prison. Then he suddenly jumped up and exclaimed, “Hey... that’s it! I’ll throw a another huge bash, only here in Ironlock! It’s been abandoned for years, and there’s not another soul around these parts for miles!” He grinned. “SUH-WEET! Now to start making up invitations to send out to my very dear friends, Sonic and the Freedom Fighters!”

THE END!

Snicker Some people just never learn, do they? Tsk, tsk, tsk

This has been a Shychick Production!