Disclaimer: How many times do I have to tell you people? I own nothing! OKAY? OKAY!

‘Kay, guys, this story is just based on a funny idea I had a few weeks ago. It’s about Snively’s trip to see a psychiatrist… with a surprise ending! But I’m not going to give away what it is; you’ll just have to read the whole thing and see for yourselves! Hopefully, it won’t be too predictable… well, anyway, enjoy! Please do the nice thing and review afterwards, okay? Thanx! No flames please, I’m very self-conscience about my writing.

Snively lay on the couch in the doctor’s office. It was a Saturday afternoon, and the clock up on the wall read 4:30 P.M. He sighed, not wanting this whole thing to take any more time than necessary. He felt somewhat uncomfortable in this place.
The ticking of the clock filled Snively’s ears, almost matching up with the pounding of his own heart. A few beads of sweat appeared on the back of his neck. Yet, he couldn’t understand why he felt so wracked with fear. It was, after all, his decision alone to come here. It was too late to back out and leave. The time for backing out had been ten minutes ago, when he was still sitting in the waiting room.
Perhaps it was the strange, stereotypical feeling that going to see a psychiatrist automatically made one ‘crazy.’ But Snively knew he wasn’t crazy. He was just a very troubled young man, deep down inside. But it still bothered him, even now, that he resorted to visiting a shrink in the end. How pathetic Snively thought to himself.
Just than, the door opened and the doctor walked in. The first thing that Snively immediately noticed about the man was his size. He was quite obese, just about as obese as his uncle. He appeared to be in his late forties, and he also had a huge blonde moustache which sort of curled up at the ends. The name tag on his jacket read, “Dr. Nik.” (Author’s Note: Not to be confused with Dr. Nik Riviara on “The Simpsons”!)
Snively couldn’t figure out why, but this man seemed oddly familiar to him. I’ve seen this person before, he thought, I’m sure of it! But where… and when?
“Hello, Mr. Kintobor ,” Dr. Nik said, after a quick glance at his clipboard. He sat down on the chair across from Snively.
“Hello, doctor,” Snively replied, trying to fight his urge to make a run for it. Coward! he scolded himself. “By the way, you can just call me by my first name, Snively,” he added, forcing a polite smile.
“All right then, Snively,” Dr. Nik said, nodding. “Now, please remember that everything spoken in this office is strictly confidential, so there’s no reason to feel uncomfortable in any way, okay?”
Can this fellow read minds?! Snively thought frantically to himself. And where on Mobius have I seen him before?
“Now, Snively, tell me why you are here today,” Dr. Nik said, taking out his pencil.
“Well,” Snively began, with a hesitant sigh, “to be perfectly blunt, I hate my life.”
Dr. Nik jotted some notes down. “I see… please, by all means, continue.”
“I constantly walk through life feeling a combination of hatred, depression, and fear. I regret having ever been born, as I seem to have no true purpose in life. All my life I’ve felt very insignificant and alone.” He sighed. “I suppose it all started when I was young. My father, Colin, never had time for me. He had a way of making me feel invisible, like I didn’t even exist. He was a regular genius when it came to computers and other such high-tech-related information. I admired my father, I really did- though he barely acknowledged the fact that I was even alive. But to me, he was the smartest person I had ever known. Oh, how I looked up to him… I wanted to be just like him so very much. It hurt me inside that he always ignored me, when I loved and respected him so much. So I started to develop an interest in computers and gizmos like him, in the hopes that we would share something in common… that we would share a bond. For countless days and nights, I studied and studied, hoping to become just as smart as him someday. I would even watch my father in his laboratory, just so I could learn from him… just so I could be with him…” A tear slid down his face and he quickly wiped it away. “You see, Colin never even once bothered to teach me about the world of technology on his own… not even after I showed him countless times that it greatly interested me. It was like he didn’t even care about me or what I did. It hurt me so, that my own father didn’t even take any pride in the fact that his own son wanted to follow in his footsteps. Well, he continued to ignore me day after day, and I continued with my studies. I never gave up trying to win over his respect and favour. In time, I had grown to become even smarter than my father… not that he even noticed. But I was 18 by that time, and so I had begun to lose all hope that I would ever get him to acknowledge me. Not once did he ever even tell me he was proud of me… he never even once said that he l-l-loved me…” Snively was fighting back tears, as he recalled those hurtful past memories of his childhood. It wasn’t easy telling Dr. Nik, a complete stranger all this, but he just had to get it off his chest somehow. And he still couldn’t figure out why he appeared so familiar to him.
“Very interesting,” said the doctor, glancing up from his notebook. “I must say, it sounds as if you’ve had quite a disappointing childhood. But doesn’t it feel good to get those feelings off your chest, Snively, after being bottled up inside of you for so long?”
“Yes,” Snively admitted, “actually, it does feel rather good…” Maybe there’s hope for me after all!
“But that’s only the beginning of your troubles, isn’t it?” Dr. Nik was saying. “We must keep going until we reach the very core of your problems, Snively. You won’t feel completely better until we do, trust me.” He held up some cards. “But first, I’m going to give you a little test. Now, this is called an ink-blot test. I’m going to show you the following cards, and you just tell me what you think the blots of ink look like to you… and remember there’s no right or wrong answer.”
Riiight Snively thought bitterly to himself, than how come I’ll be judged based on whatever I say? What a bunch of malarkey!
Dr. Nik held up the first card. “Now, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you see this?”
Snively stared at it, scratching his head. Than all of a sudden, his eyes widened in horror, and he cried, “Arrgghh! The Hedgehog! It’s the Hedgehog!”
“I see…” Dr. Nik said calmly. He flashed the next card.
“Oh, God, no! The Hedgehog again! He’s going into a Cyclone now!”
“Interesting… and this?”
“Gaahh! Now that blasted creature’s Spin-Dashing everything in sight!”
Dr. Nik showed Snively some more cards, and each time he was convinced that he saw Sonic in the ink-blots. Dr. Nik took a few notes and said, “Fascinating, Snively… you seem to be truely obsessed over some hedgehog… tell me more about this hedgehog…”
“He’s no ordinary hedgehog,” Snively said, a sound of hatred in his voice. “He’s only the fastest hedgehog in the entire universe! The fastest living thing in the universe! He could outrun the fastest cheetah! Why, he could race around the whole planet in a single second! And he’s ruining my life!!”
“How so?” the doctor asked. “Please continue… this sounds most interesting…”
“Well, he’s known as Sonic the Hedgehog. He’s the leader of those bloody Freedom Fighters. I find them utterly annoying as well, but they can’t compare to that insufferable blue rodent! He’s my worst enemy, doctor. He never misses an opportunity to ruin my plans, not to mention my uncle‘s plans! I can’t even count all the times he’s destroyed our SWAT-bots, demolished our SWAT-bot factories, and broken into our base. He’s always meddling in our business, always trying to free our prisoners! He’s a pain in the ass, and I long for his demise in the worst way!” Snively snarled, clenching his fists in anger. “And not only that, but he’s always making fun of me! Him and those wretched friends of his! Always making fun of the fact that I’m bald, short, and have a long nose! Do you think I want to look like this?! They don’t have to rub it in! Always referring to me as “Needlenose” or “Cueball” or “Shorty”. I may come off as thick-skinned, but I’m actually a very sensitive person deep down inside! Of course, I would never let them know that…” He sighed with frustration. “I even see that blasted blue demon in my dreams!” he cried. “Mocking me… laughing at me… getting me in trouble with the Big Round Guy…”
Dr. Nik raised an eyebrow. “The big round guy?” he repeated questioningly.
“Er, yes, that’s what I call my uncle behind his back,” Snively said fidgeting nervously. “Actually, I tend to call my uncle a great deal of things behind his back.” Oh, I know where this is going…
“Really?” Dr. Nik said, looking extremely interested. “Let’s talk about your uncle, shall we?”
Oh, bloody great! “Sure, I’ll talk about Uncle,” Snively said quickly, “Uncle Sam! That’s what they refer to as the United States down on Planet Earth!” He chuckled nervously. “You know, they say that Earth is such a tiny planet, but I bet you couldn’t fit it all in here, not by a long shot!” He quickly got to his feet and started for the door. “You know what? I feel ever so much better now! Goodbye!”
“Snively,” Dr. Nik said firmly, “get back here and tell me about your uncle!”
Snively sighed, defeated. “Oh, very well, if I must.” He lay back down on the couch. “My uncle is Dr. Jullian Ivo Robotnik. He created the whole city of Robotropolis. His life-long dream is to rule all of Mobius, and he hates the Hedgehog almost as much as I do… oh, yes, and I hate the very ground that he walks on!” He sighed angrily. “You want to know why, I suppose, doctor? Well, I’ll tell you why! Forget the fact that he’s the fattest, ugliest person I have ever laid eyes on, he always blames me for everything that goes wrong! Every time the Hedgehog ruins his plans, he always puts the blame on me! Always! Even when it isn’t my fault! I work my arse off day in/day out for that bastard, but does he ever appreciate all that I do for him? No! He treats me like something he dug out of his ear! Why, if it wasn’t for me and my vast knowledge of technology, he’d be nothing! Who comes up with all the brilliant ideas? Me! Who does all the work? Me! He doesn’t give me nearly enough credit! Not once has he ever even said a mere “Thanks” for all my pains!” He sighed. “And what makes it so hard for me is… I can’t even defend myself. Do you have any idea how I would love to tell that guy off? There’s been times when I was this close to losing my temper and patience with him… but I can’t. You see, I’m- I’m scared of my uncle. Terrified of him. Whenever I’m around him, I stutter and shake and sweat with fear. If he knew what I really thought of him, he’d surely kill me! So I have no choice but to continue kissing up to that cretin until the day I die. It’s always “sir” this and “sir” that! I HATE HIM!!” Snively cried. “If- if only I wasn’t such a coward. See, I hide my true feelings behind this wall of bitterness and spite. I like to think of myself as “Snively the Great”- future ruler of all of Mobius… but who am I kidding? I’m nothing great. I’m a pathetic little chicken-shit loser, that’s all I’ll ever be. I’m all alone in the world,” he sniffled sadly, “completely and utterly alone. I don’t have anyone. Sometimes I’ll just think “who cares? Who needs friends anyway?” But I’m only living in denial… I wish I had somebody to talk to, somebody to care about me.” The tears were really on their way now, and there was no way he could hold them back any longer. “Sometimes at night, I’ll cry myself to sleep, just thinking of how miserable my life is. I’ve often thought of committing suicide, but I’m too much of a spineless, gutless coward to go through with it. I’m not crazy, but I fear that if my life doesn’t change for the better soon, I’m going to go crazy… I’m just tired of living in fear and isolation, that’s all…”
The doctor nodded. “Suicide is never the answer, Snively. You say you’re nothing but a coward, but that’s not entirely true, not from all that I’ve heard today. Because it takes real courage for a person to admit all their deepest thoughts and emotions, especially after keeping them bottled up in their system for so long.” He paused. “Snively, I think it’s time you learned how to release those feelings in healthy ways.”
Snively sighed sadly. “How, doctor?”
“Well, let’s just try another test, shall we?” Dr. Nik said. “Snively, I want you to pretend that I’m your uncle- I want you to say to me all the things that you’ve always wanted to say to your him, but never could before. Just let it all out, all your frustration and anger. Don’t hold anything back. Okay?”
Snively looked a little surprised. “Huh? W-well, okay… I’ll try anything…” He was still wracking his brain, trying to figure out why Dr. Nik looked so blasted familiar to him…
Dr. Nik nodded. “All right… go!”
Snively took a deep breath. “I hate you, Jullian,” he began, “I hate your guts! I hate everything about you! You are the fattest, most hideous-looking thing I have ever layed eyes on! Just the mere sight of you makes me sick! And your overall appearance couldn’t hold a candle to your hateful personality! I’m sick and tired of constantly being treated like slime! Why must you always blame me for every little thing? I bust my arse for you, day in/day out, and you never show me the respect and credit due to me! I don’t deserve it! If it wasn’t for me, sir, you’d be nothing! Nowhere! You should be down on your knees, kissing my ass, for a change! I’m your nephew, for God‘s sake, for own nephew! Your own flesh and blood! How can you treat your own kin like a slave? Well, let me tell you something, uncle- I’ve had enough of you and your dictatorship! I’m a human being with rights and feelings too, you know! I hope that when you die, you rot in hell’s roasting fires for all eternity, you ill-begotten spawn of Saten ! You fat bastard, you bottom-dwelling scum-sucker! I HATE YOU!!” Snively screamed at the top of his lungs. Panting for breath, he let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, that felt so good to get it all out like that… it’s been in me for long now.” Suddenly, a feeling of peace and serenity washed over him. He felt… happy. For the first time in his life, Snively Kintobor actually felt happy! “Doctor! I’m so happy! Something amazing has happened; I’m actually happy! I’m- I’m cured!” He smiled. “Heh… you know, it’s truly a good thing that Robotnik never actually heard me say those things to him. Ohhh, I would be a dead man!”
Dr. Nik smiled- an almost eerie kind of smile. “Actually, Snively… he has.”
Snively’s blood chilled. “W-what? What are you talking about, Dr. Nik? I-I don’t understand… how…?” He shook in head in confusion. “You know, doctor, there’s something about you- you look very familiar to me… I feel like I’ve seen you before! And I have to ask… who are you?” Something was very wrong. Snively had a bad feeling all of a sudden.
Dr. Nik stood up… and removed his beard, glasses, and jacket!
“Hello, nephew,” he said in a quiet, almost deadly voice.
Snively now understood why this man had looked so familiar to him all this time. His eyes widened in absolute horror, as a look of shock and fear appeared upon his face. Gasping, he backed away. “No…” he whispered in disbelief. “It c-c-can’t be… how can you be… what… how… oh, no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

The End

Heh, heh! Am I full of surprises or what? Bet you didn’t see that coming, did you? Well, maybe you did… Do you see why his name was Dr. Nik… as in, Dr. Robotnik…? Well, that’s all for now, guys! Gentleman, start your reviews!

By the by, I sure wouldn’t wanna be in Sniv’s place right now!