Disclaimer- All characters belong to Dic Entertainment and Archie Comics, though I mostly follow Dic’s version. I don’t own any Robin Hood-related characters either, but I think you already knew that.

“Could you read me a bedtime story, Aunt Sally?” Tails asked. It was night-time in the quiet village of Knothole, and most of the citizens were asleep.

“Oh, not tonight, Tails,” Sally said. “I’m really tired after tonight’s mission in the city. How about tomorrow night, okay, honey?”

“Aw, but you promised, Sally,” Tails whimpered, looking at Sally with big, sad puppy-dog eyes. “Please? Just a short one?”

Sally smiled, giving in. She was always a goner whenever Tails used that look on her. “Oh, all right, Tails. But just a quick one tonight.”

“Yay!” the young kitsune cried happily. Kids are so easy to please, huh?

Sally picked up a book from Tails’ bookshelf. “How about the story of Robin Hood?” she asked, sitting down on the edge of Tails’ bed.

“Cool! That’s my favorite story, Aunt Sally!” Tails exclaimed. He happily snuggled underneath the covers to get more comfortable. “You always read the best stories!”

Sally opened the book and started to read. And as Sally got deeper into the story, Tails slowly drifted off to sleep. And because he fell asleep while Sally was still reading it, and because the story was the last thing on the child’s mind before he went to sleep, he began to dream about it... only his own version of the story was slighty different...

Once upon a time... deep in the Great Forest... there lived, uh- who lived there again? Pause Oh, yeah: Robin Hog! We see Sonic proudly standing there

Now Robin was a brave hero! And he wore the finest green leotards! But we’ll forgive him. For, he was the finest archer in all the land! And with his trusty bow, he would shoot- er, what did he shoot? Pause Oh, yeah! He would shoot a melon into the air! Sonic grins smugly, and shoots a melon into the air with his bow... but it falls back down, and splatters onto our blue hero’s head. Sonic shakes the melon off his head, looking annoyed with the author No, no... it wasn’t a melon... what the heck was it? Pause Oh, yeah! It was a chicken! Sonic shrugs, and shoots a chicken into the air with his bow. Only this time, he slams a metal helmet onto his head for protection, and blows a raspberry at the author No, wait, let’s see... I know! It was a... moose! Giant moose falls down onto Sonic, crushing him

But Robin didn’t pranch around the woods in his underwear alone! Heavens, no! He had a band of Freedom Fighters! First, there was Friar Chuck; a handsome fellow indeed! Sir Charles, or Uncle Chuck, makes the scene, wearing a monk’s robe And then, there was Little Rote! Rotor comes onto the scene next, bearing a wooden staff And the minstrel of the group, Antoine A’Dale! Antoine makes the scene, bearing a lute And the youngest member, Tails Scarlet! Tails appears next, waving at the audience But most beloved of all, was the lovely Maid Sally! Shows a shot of Sally standing at window of a castle tower, wearing a pink maiden’s dress and pointly maiden’s hat

Now, Robin and his band of men were robbers! They would rob from the rich and give to the- cheerleaders! A ditzy-looking cheerleader appears No, that’s not it! Let’s see... they would rob from the rich and give to the- crimanally-insane! A crimanally-insane guy appears, in place of the cheerleader No... they would rob from the rich and- give to the poor! A family of peasants suddenly appear, and gratefully take the bag of money from Sonic. Then the father/husband suddenly gets dollar signs in his eyes, accompanied by the ching of a cash resister in the background. He dashes away with the gold, leaving his family standing there alone, still poor

Now, Sally was being held prisoner up in the tower of the castle by the evil Sheriff of Robotropolis. Shows Robotnik standing in front of Sally, evilly rubbing his hands together. Just than, Snively slinks onto the scene, glaring at the author, tapping his foot impatiently, his arms folded ... Uh, oh yeah, and his loyal little nephew and right-hand man, Sir Snively of Robotropolis, Second-in-Command. Snively coughs impatiently Fine then, otherwise known as Snively the Great. Sheesh. Snively grins smugly, hands folded behind back

You see, the city was not always been the dark, damp, metal place it was today. It was formally known as Mobotropolis, and was ruled by Sally’s father, King Maximilian Acorn. But then, one dark day, the Sheriff of Mobotropolis turned against the king, and had him banished off to the Crusades in the depths of the Void. And from that day forward, Mobius’ beloved, once-peaceful city was now known as Robotropolis after a hostile take-over by the evil Sheriff. He had this ordeal where he would tax the poor people most mercilessly and unfairly... and if they couldn’t pay, then they would be sentenced to robotization... and since the majority of them were too poor to afford the Tax Laws, then 85 of the population were captured and roboticised. ‘Tis sad, I know...

One day, in the Great Forest, Robin Hog could hear the sweet, far-away voice of his beloved princess singing from her prison in the tower, in Robotropolis. So Robin used his unique sense of speed, as he was known as not only the best archer in all the land, but the Fastest Thing Alive as well, and jammed to the city to rescue her, once-and-for-all.

When he got there, he found that the moat outside the castle was swarming with ferocious, blood-thrsty, man-eating crocodile-bots. But was he scared? No way! He just whipped out one of his trusty Power Rings from his backpack and zoomed across that water, lickety-split, easily dodging any obstacles in his path! In three seconds flat, he had made his way across the moat full of Croc-Bots, onto the other side.

Once outside the tower, Robin gazed up at his fair damsel. He harkened onto her. “Hark, hark,” harkened he. “Yo, Sal’, it’s me- your best friend, your best bud, your main squeaze! There ain’t nothin’ to fear, ‘cause the Hedgehog is here!” And with that, he zoomed straight up the side of tower and leaped through the window.

But alas, lover’s bliss was not to be had so easy! Nay, for there at yon door stoodst the evil Sheriff!

But Robin was alert! And in a sprig, he unsheathed his- er, what did he unsheath? Sonic rolls his eyes impatiently, ready to grab the weapon from his belt Oh, yeah! His turkey-baster! And he thrust a generous portion of giblet gravy unto the evil Sheriff! “Thou has besquirted me, O Leotarded One!” Faints “The Maiden be thine!” Faints again

Snively just stands there, looking all paniced and worried and confused, as usual. Just then, Sonic grins and aims the turkey-baster in his direction. Snively screams like a little girl, and leaps right out the window to his escape... and ironically lands right in the arms of Shychick, who just happened to be standing in the right place at the right time! Cuddling poor, confused Snivvy close to her, Shychick grins and takes off running with her little bundle of joy. She was last seen running with him towards the nearest cathedral...

Together at last, Robin Hog and Princess Sally were married. (In the very same church that Shychick and Snively were married in, but that’s another story!) “Thou may kisseth the bride,” the Friar said to Robin and Sally. Now it was official.

The new happy couple lived together in the Great Forest for the rest of their days. And of course, Robin freed their beloved city, Mobotropolis, from the evil Sheriff’s reign of terror and de-roboticized all the citizens. And life on the planet, Mobius, was peaceful and happy from then on. And yes, they all lived happily ever after, blah, blah, blah...

Tails then woke up, looked around, and realized that it had all been a dream.

“Past cool!” he grinned. “Wait’ll I tell Sonic all about this dream!”

THE END!

Do I know how to tell a good story, or what? And of course, I lived happily ever after too! Hugs Snivvy, who gulps and chuckles nervously

Runs with my new hubby into a hotel room and slams the door, then puts a sign out on the knob which says, “Do Not Disturb!” (Hey, I can dream, can’t I? Evil grin)

Snively: From withen room HE-E-E-ELLLP!!

This has been a Mrs. Shychick Kintobor Production!