View CommentsBringing People Out Of The Closet, One Step At A Time (No not that closet!)

I get email’s all the time..Most of the time it involves me saying something like “No..I do not think SatAM was a devil worshipping cult”  Or “I’m sorry but your crazy fanfic involving SatAM and time travelling squirrels  just won’t make a good story for “Sea3on”  However every so often I do get an interesting email. Something that is almost touching. Makes it completely worth while for running this website along with my staff.   Something myself and John are proud of.

Last night I actually got one of these emails.  One that made me think how awesome this was.  In fact I liked it so much I had to share it with Bakuda first thing.   Now, because I have been giving permission to share it with you all..I will.

To the good folks at FUS,

 

I just made what I have to admit is kind of a large donation (at least for me) to your site, and I want to explain why.  It was prompted by last week’s comments on the Season 3 comic that you need a more powerful scanner, and I hope it helps toward that end.  (I have no idea whether PayPal shares the names of donors with you, but I did enter “toward the scanner” as the purpose, if you want to verify that I’m telling the truth.)  But it’s also to say thank you to you and to the SatAM fan community, because crazy as it sounds, rediscovering SatAM has meant something to me on a deeply personal level.

 

Without going into details, I have been going through some really difficult stuff over the last six months or so.  When I initially watched SatAM back in ’93 and ’94, I was also going through some difficult stuff—suffice it to say that I had more than the usual share of adolescent troubles.  My introduction to the show was probably no different than most fans’—I enjoyed the Sonic games, and when I watched the first part of “Supersonic” on that Saturday morning preview special they used to do on TGIF, I couldn’t help but be curious what was going to happen next.  So—even though, at 14, I felt like I should be too old for Saturday morning cartoons—I hauled my butt out of bed early the next morning and watched the show.  I was hooked.  I loved the sci-fi/fantasy atmosphere, the characters, and the comic banter (especially between Sonic and Sally).  But where it really touched me was on a thematic level—the struggle for freedom against the forces of dehumanization and mechanization (as a Star Trek fan, I was always fascinated by the parallels between roboticization and the Borg); hope in the face of overwhelming odds; the innocent (some would say naïve) belief that if we work together, we really can save the world.

 

Like all the other fans, I was shocked and saddened when the series was cancelled after ending on a cliffhanger, but it never left my mind.  In my spare moments, I imagined what might have happened.  I actually wrote notes for a plan for my own Season 3 (blasted out of the water when I found out what was actually supposed to happen), and I continued to make up stories in my head—my own ongoing saga—up until adulthood.

 

But I kept my obsession private.  I always felt like some kind of freak for fixating on a kid’s TV show that only lasted two seasons.  I knew it had spawned a comic book series (which I’ve never read, and judging by what I’ve been reading is happening lately, am afraid to start).  And I did some research on the whole Sonic franchise back around 2000.  At least that’s the date on the labels on the little Sonic Underground plushies they were giving away free at Denny’s, which my dad picked up for me because he knew I was a Sonic fan.  (I continued to play the games up until Sonic R—at that point they stopped making them for the PC, and I didn’t want to have to go buy a new video game system every year or two.)  Besides embarrassing the heck out of me, my Dad’s gift sparked a Web search on what the heck Sonic Underground was.  (I was tempted to watch but never did.)  And that devolved into an all-night link-following fest into all things Sonic, which was how I found out what was supposed to happen in Season 3 as mentioned above (sort of—the description had a few omissions and inaccuracies).

 

So yes, I was aware that there were other Sonic fans out there.  But for some reason I assumed they must all be younger than me.  By that time I was 21—supposed to be all grown up, right?  There must be something wrong with me if I was still into this kid stuff.  So I decided it was time for me to move on.  But I never forgot.  SatAM would come to mind at the oddest of moments—usually accompanied by feelings of nostalgia, followed by embarrassment.  (“Oh God, haven’t you gotten over that yet?”)

 

(I have to confess that in the mid-2000s I also had a brief stint with Sonic X—nowhere near as good as SatAM, but it had its merits.  It became my guilty Saturday-morning pleasure—if my parents came in the room, “OH GOD QUICK CHANGE THE CHANNEL PRETEND YOU’RE WATCHING LAW AND ORDER OR SOMETHING!!!”  Yes, I was still living with my parents, which says a lot.)

 

Another decade passed, and I figured the series had been all but forgotten.

 

So imagine my surprise when, at the height of my recent troubles, I’m playing some online video games as an escape…find some homemade Sonic stuff…say “what the hell, I can just play some games, right?”…end up on Newgrounds…find a bunch of attempts by people to make a SatAM continuation or movie (all of which seem to have been canned)…follow that to Deviant Art…and from there, discover the forums and FUS’s amazing Season 3 Comic.  (The whole process actually took a couple of months.)  I was stunned.  The series hadn’t been forgotten—if anything, it had achieved cult status.  Here were all these people, almost 20 years later, as obsessed about this cartoon show as I was.  And most of them were at least as old as I was 12 years ago when I decided I should be moving on, and some probably as old as I am now.  Not to mention the dedication that I learned the writers and artists had put into the series, and the efforts made to revive it.  Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone.  (As I typed those words, I actually started to cry.)

 

Now I’m not saying that SatAM or FUS saved my life or anything.  But for someone who has spent a lot of her life feeling alone and abnormal, it has been a tremendously powerful experience to find out that I am neither.

 

Since then, however, I’ve remained in the closet—though I’ve done a little lurking and commenting on DA and Newgrounds, I haven’t joined any discussion groups or anything.  I’m not too social media-savvy—I’ve never Facebooked, Tweeted, Flickred, or anything like that.  (Another reason I haven’t explored more is because I started working on a fanfic of sorts, which has been wonderfully therapeutic—and it seems that the more other great stuff I read, the more I say to myself, “Dang, I’ll never write anything this good.”  In fact, I’m kind of glad I started writing before I found the Season 3 comic—I think that would have shut me down completely.  I’m still working on it—I’ll get there.)  But I bought the full series DVD box set, and I’ve been following the Season 3 comic, with its beautiful art, inspired storyline, and faithfulness to the original—particularly the characters—with the same weekly anticipation that I once experienced for the series.

 

Then last week I read about Season 3’s scanner woes, and it seemed like fate.  I am taking this opportunity to come out of the closet, even if it’s only to whoever’s reading this email.  Judging by the email address, that would be Paul.

 

I AM A SATAM FAN, AND I AM DARN WELL PROUD OF IT!!!

 

So this is to thank you and your wonderful artists and writers for keeping the dream alive, both through the site and through the Season 3 comic.  It’s also to thank my fellow SatAM fans for teaching me that growing up doesn’t have to mean leaving behind your childhood (or in my case, teenhood) passions, and that a sometimes little healthy obsession can be good for the soul—and connect one with a larger community.  Perhaps—when my schedule becomes a little less hectic, ha ha—I too will join that community.  For now, I’m doing what I can.

 

If anyone ever tells you that the work that you’re doing is silly or trivial, that it’s not really making a difference in the world—don’t believe them.  You have created a community of talented and passionate individuals, and that is a huge accomplishment.  And if you want to remember how deeply you’ve touched at least one person, just read this letter.

 

Keep up the fight.

 

Hugs and funny kisses,

Michelle Freedman, Age 32

AKA Tabbyzgirl (Tabitha is my cat, and the model for the furry with Sonic below.  As you can see, my own scanner ain’t that good.)

 

 

 

P.S. Speaking of fate…one of the difficulties I’ve faced is the loss of my grandmother to lung cancer in October.  Going through her old costume jewelry with my mom a couple of months later, I found this:

 

 

It’s got three twists instead of just the one, but it is a Mobius.  Given my recent rediscovery of SatAM, the coincidence struck me as downright eerie.  I now carry this piece with me, even when I’m not wearing it.

 

P.P.S. OK, I have to mention this—I do take a little bit of issue with the comic leaving out Dulcy without any kind of explanation—like she went to go find other dragons or something.  I know a lot of people hated her, but I always liked her.  It’s all right though, I still love you.

 

P.P.S. You have my permission to share this email, with my name, in whole or in part, on your site—that would really put me out of the closet!  But it’s OK if you don’t.  I’m sure you get emails from crazy people like me all the time. J

 

 

 

Michelle,

You were correct in your assumption that that email address would in fact connect you to me, Paul.   However, due to your permission the entire website shall see that email (look above) also they will see my response (look here).

Its kind of interesting to see you first started watching SatAM at the age of 14.  I myself started watching it as a kid at 7 or 8..However it was at the age of 14 that I decided to find the show again, and thus I found FUS.   Now the reason why I bring this up is that when I joined the website at 14/15 I was considered one of the younger members. Most members at that time were actually around 5-8 years older then myself.   So people your age watching the show was actually quite common.

I’m sure I can speak for myself and the rest of my team in saying Thank You!  We work hard to please our viewers and fans.  Be it with Sea3on, or other projects, or the website and forum.  All of this is done for you and others like you, not for ourselves.  If this site was run just for myself you would only see one page stating how awesome I am…I should create a page like that…

Also on behalf of myself and my staff I am sorry for your terrible loss. Stuff like that is never easy to get through.  If FUS helped out any in that way I am glad.  Makes everything we do worth it.

Again, thank you for your kind words.  I loved reading your email and..I can’t say anything else on that.  It just made me proud to be apart of this community.

Cheers for everything,

Paul

PS.  A lot of people bring up that Dulcy thing.  I guess we will have to just wait and see.  Our talented writer has plenty of surprises for everyone yet.